Are you speaking the right love language?

[xSamanthax]

Brighteyes,

My answer would be to make a conscious effort to learn a new language. I've done it. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes practice. It takes being receptive/open to a new/different perspective. It takes a bit of humility, setting aside the ego that tells us that our way is the only way.

The beauty of it is that over time you can learn to love this new language as much as you love your "native" one...becoming fluent, so to speak.

I think the hardest part is simply recognizing that you are not speaking the same language. It simply doesn't occur to you until you read a post like this, or come across something that makes you go hmmmmm.

Good topic, thanks.

 

[xionking]

What happens if you receive overdrawn fees?

 

[BellaRisa]

The principal is easy enough to understand, it is just not the way I look at relationships....

I look at it as a matter of trust, sharing, and knowing your partner and not how many deposits or withdrawals are made...

It is a "joint" account where I dont look at a statement each month to see who has deposited or withdrawn more..

See, that's what I thought too...then I kinda realized that actually we all keep the accounts Manda's talking about; we just don't think of it that way, if we think about it at all 🙂 There are a million little things that we come to need/want/expect from our partners, and when our expectations aren't met or we're disappointed in some little way it does affect our feelings on some level; you know how it can make you feel weird and slightly unloved if your partner is a little rude on the phone (withdrawal), or that quick burst of yummy you get when they're extra sweet on another call (deposit)? That's what the 'account' thing is talking about, little deposits and withdrawals happen over the course of each day. As long as the 'bank' stays pretty full everything's fine, but a neglected partner keeps having withdrawals made until there's nothing left, sadly. I know this sounds corny but I do understand it and it's just human nature

 

[SapphireRose]

*Sigh*

I understand what Brighteyes is saying here. And I agree with it too. I tell Viper that I love him all the time...and I know it's not enough. But I'm afraid to show it in any other way...I'm not sure why this is the case though.

He's always been very giving and patient with me, which, at this point in time, is beyond my understanding. But I don't know what my own language is to actually just accept what he does for me (if that makes ANY sense). And in the beginning, it was easy to show him how I felt other than just saying it...

I don't know what changed...Maybe I'm just scared...or my/his language changed and I'm not sure where it's moved to. And there is always the simple fact that I am disappointed in myself because I know who/what I can be... but changing has always been a hard thing for me. Once stuck in a rut, it's hard to move out of it.

In the end, I guess I have a temporary "freeze" on my account because I'm not sure where to invest...I know where I want to...but I don't know how.

And yes, I still Love Viper. I know it and I don't want that to change.