Ask a Leaf!

[goddess_nemesis]

Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in... what happens to the other penny?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Ok, so I don't have time to properly bomb you with questions since I have to work. Here are the rest of the questions.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

Why do croutons comes in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do you put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their time is winning?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

Would you be willing to commit perjury in court for a close friend?

Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?

Would you be willing to give up sex for five years if you could have wonderfully sensual and erotic dreams whenever you wished?

Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace than you have now?

Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 5 years to become extremely attractive?

Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.

Would you generally be overdressed or underdressed at a party?

If you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else currently living, would you do so? Whom would you pick?

Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?

Have you ever returned an item to a store for a refund after havng used it?

Would you like to have a child much more intelligent and attractive than yourself?

What was the most recent movie that made you cry?

If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be?

Do you believe honesty is the best policy?

What vegetable do you most resemble?

What dead person would you least want to be haunted by?

Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?

What one toiletry item could you never live without?

What would constitute a perfect evening for you?

Which animal is the smartest? Why?

If you could have heard the deathbed confession of one person from history, who would you pick?

Which color describes you most accurately?

Which is more important: actual experiences, or the memories that remain when the experiences are over?

What is the most romantic thing thats ever been done for you?

If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would you read?

Would it disturb you if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods to rot?

Would you accept $1 million to leave the country and never set foot in it again?

If you could romantically kiss someone that you never have, who would you want it to be?

Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities without a covering of any sort and without being able to explain the reason?

Would you accept a much less enjoyable job paying twice what you make now?

If you could solve one of history's "unsolved mysteries" which would you choose?

Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one - it completely lacked sex?

Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would live for 1,000 years at any physical age you chose?

 

[Acarophiliac]

Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?

 

[Pokey]

It is Monday morning, are you going to turn over a new "Leaf"?

 

[TarynsTinyToes]

Do still miss watching Dexter every Sunday??

I think I am still in withdrawls!!

 

[leafstk]

What's your favorite movie one-liner?

Then I'll see you in Hell! - Han Solo

Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

Body Wash?? I dunno, ask Tex Jokes!

Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

They don't in my newspaper, lol... that's just wrong!

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

Ah, a paradox 😛

Have you ever noticed that when you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together it forms 'THEIRS'?

Not until now, lol 😀

Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

LOL... would be an amusing scene wouldn't it?

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

It just is 😕

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

I believe that's where the phrase came from, so yes 😀

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

The Complaint Thread here in the SSF

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Good one! 😛

 

[leafstk]

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

Priceless

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

Dubai

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Poor little bugger wasn't so lucky 🙁

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

Do they come in pretty colours?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

Find your own fire pit, mate... this is MINE! :

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

For the same reason people are requesting to be buried with their blackberries? 😀

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

The carry Etch a Sketches 😛

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Hmmm, will have to try this one day 😀

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

I'm going to defer this to the Swede

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

This is a whack: C'mon Goddess, you should know this!