Asking About Ticklishness..

[Mitchell]

I have a situation which I would appreciate advice on.

Those who have read my blog know about Maria. I've known her several months, and we talk.. a lot.. several times a week, for hours. There are feelings.. but she just doesn't seem to want to take the next step beyond friendship with me. She claims she doesn't know if she wants to be involved with anyone, but that isn't the point.

For those who have or haven't read the entry.. I confessed my foot fetish to Maria a couple of weeks ago, and she seemed to take it okay, except for telling me she has, in her opinion, ugly feet. (I haven't seen them, because she wears sneakers, so I cant judge) For those who know me, and are wondering.. No, I have not asked her if she's stood barefoot on a ladder. That would seem.. too much at this point.

For everything she and I have discussed.. (Yes, some of it sexual, but I'm not going to post details).. I'm of course wanting to know if she's ticklish. I can't seem to find the right words to ask her, and, with as emotional as she is, I'm afraid if I just give her a poke or tickle, she would freak out, and the trust she seems to have built up in me, would be gone.

I'd appreciate any thoughts of how perhaps I could work tickling into the conversation, to somehow ask her about her ticklishness. I don't know how I had the courage to tell her I have a foot fetish, and yet can't ask her if she's ticklish.

Any thoughts on what I might do to work tickling into the convo? Thanks.

 

[ticklehound]

"Hey, are you ticklish?"

#BOOM

 

[Mitchell]

LOL Thanks, hound. I'd like to be a little more.,. subtle than that.

 

[PiedPiper]

Susan considered her ticklish feet to be a part of her feminine vulnerability,... she screamed and thrashed, but she still wanted to be tickled,.... and she loved watching her bare toes disappearing into my mouth.

 

[Mitchell]

Er.. not sure what you mean, Pied, but thanks, I think..

 

[ticklehound]

LOL Thanks, hound. I'd like to be a little more.,. subtle than that.

Don't mention it! 😱

But seriously, I have yet to find an easier way. If I try anything subtler, good chance she won't get the hint. I can get most girls to admit how ticklish they are, but getting past that to the actual finger dance is hard.

Although, if she's the touchy, feely type, you can try a playful test tickle & see how she responds. Hopefully, she jumps & then you can ask. OR... what I've tried, is when she touches me (play fighting, hugging, etc), I flinch, whether it tickles or not... then I just say, "Careful, now, I'm ticklish" OR "You don't wanna fight me, I'll take you down... as long as you don't tickle!"

 

[firegod86]

My suggestion in a way to make it more comfortable to bring up the subject is to lighten the mood. make her feel good and playful. then breach the subject using yourself. Tell some silly story from your childhood about yourself being tickled and mention how ticklish you are then see how she reacts to you mentioning it. If signs are good. Then ask yourself. Either way you are likely to get some sort of answer.

 

[saratk]

you could mention pedicures...maybe buying someone a pedicure gift card and they told you they don't get pedicures cause they are too ticklish...might get her to admit something

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks.

Funny thing is.. she mentioned today how she likes manicures , but didn't bring up about her toes or pedicures. Besides her telling me she has "ugly feet", when I mentioned my foot fetish to her, the subject of her feet hasn't come up.

 

[TheBlackDragon]

Well clearly you need write her a note stating "Are you ticklish?" Then have a box for yes and a box for no. That should do the trick. 😀

On a serious note, I don't know the best way. I am more blunt about it than dropping clues and hints though.

 

[Studious_Hustler]

Here's an option, Mitch, if you're willing to consider it: just keep waiting and see how things develop. I'm serious. You say you've only known each other for several months, so the relationship is still in its infancy. If you spend as much time together as you report, then it will naturally keep evolving at a quick pace. If the relationship is healthy, then before long it may have evolved to that point when you can simply and confidently ask her, "are you ticklish?"

If you're not at that point yet--and it seems like you aren't--then just wait for it. Good things come, as the cliche goes.

 

[SoleMates]

Building on what Hustler has said, I would go one step further and say, "Don't." Leave her alone.

If your gut feeling is that she'd freak, then that's your gut telling you that this is a bad idea. Scheming and plotting ways to sneak your fetish into the conversation is the mark of a creeper. Don't be a creeper.

 

[Sandrock74]

If a woman likes you, she'll be ready to jump into a relationship with a guy she likes. If she gives excuses like she doesn't know if she wants a relationship, then she's telling you, "no". Its female speak.

 

[chicago]

Don't bring it up. Doesn't look like this relationship is gonna happen if it hasn't happened in the 'several months' you've been hanging out at her place of employment. You gave her your number and she didn't give you hers. Dead giveaway right there.

 

[Candygirl]

Well clearly you need write her a note stating "Are you ticklish?" Then have a box for yes and a box for no. That should do the trick. 😀

Funniest thing I have read all day!! lol

But yeah, I'd say cut your losses and move on. If you've been hanging out several months and she hasn't shown much interest yet, it's because she doesn't want to be mean and come right out and say she's not interested. But ultimately only you can decide what is best for you. Don't worry about what anyone else says. Do what feels right.

 

[Mitchell]

Dragon, thanks.

I saw the replies.

To those who say.. she's not interested, and I shouldn't ask her.. I disagree with the not interested.. My personal feeling is that she;s scared.

I probably shouldn't be posting this.. but.. she's asked me FAR more personal questions than "Are you ticklish".

Her "Friend". apparently has two problems.. 1. A penile size problem.. 2. A problem sustaining an erection.

She's asked me.. "Do you have trouble sustaining an erection". I was like.. "Er.. no". Then she was like "Is yours.. small.. ". I was like.. "Er.. no.. want me to show you". (The last part was said in jest.. but)

 

[chicago]

People will see/ believe what they want in a situation, but I'm pretty sure if she was interested in something serious, she would have at least given you her number, you guys would have at least hung out outside of where she works by now. At the very least, it seems clear she's not ready and doesn't know how to let you down gently. Keep trying if you want, though it could be a waste of time when you could be pursuing someone else. Hopefully you don't get played.

 

[tyf69]

What Annie and Candy said

 

[SoleMates]

Mitch, if you should be listening to anyone on the matter, it's the ladies. 'cause, y'know, they're your target demographic here.

I'm also going to add that I've been in your situation dozens of times and the outcome you're hoping for has NEVER happened to me. If it turns out you were right and we were wrong, you have my permission to come back here and shout "In your face!" at every single one of us. Somehow, though, I don't think that'll be happening.

And again, look at what you're asking; "How do I finagle foisting my fetish on to someone who's been lukewarm, at best, to my advances?" - not cool, dude.

When I shot with Teri she spent the entire shoot asking me about my love life, and if I ever "get lonely" or "feel like I'll go crazy" with no girlfriend. I wrestled with asking her out based on that "evidence" for over a week before suggesting we grab a coffee together. I'll give you three guesses as to what she said, and the first two don't count.

 

[GQguy]

What's the point of this question? If she answers "yes", then what? If she answers "no", them what? We guys focus wayyy too much on how we feel about a woman, and not nearly enough on how she feels about us, and how our actions influence how she feels about us. I'm sure a "yes" answer would make you more attracted to her....but what good is that now?

Now.....lets say she is VERY attracted to you....more so than you are to her. Asking that question is great because it gives you a reason to like her more.

Mitch: are you ticklish
Her:yes!!
Mitch: I love ticklish girls

Now with this set up she knows that being ticklish is one way to please you...not being ticklish is one way to you to lose your attraction for her. See the difference?

Asking when she's not attracted to you is just.....weird. Tickling is very flirty....we're all old enough to know it leads to other things. Save it for the right time.

 

[TicklesFemales]

Well since you confessed that you have a foot fetish and she seemed okay with that I would ask her in your next conversation with her, you know Maria when I confessed to you I have a foot fetish and she says yes then ask her if she is okay with that, if she says yes then I would say Maria I have to ask you are you ticklish on your feet? If she says yes, then ask her if she has ever had a boyfriend or husband that tickled her, if she says yes or she says no but I am curious about it then your in buddy. She already knows of your foot fetish and seems okay you said. I would just bring that up and work your way into asking if she has ticklish feet. Hope that helps.

 

[Mitchell]

I love how everyone says.. "She's not attracted to you". Very presumptuous, GQ. That's not surprising, though, considering how you seem to expect everything to happen in one milsecond.

First off. I see this girl.. once a week? It isn't like she's someone on here, who I would talk to every night.

Second, .. it's not possible there aren't just times in someone's life when they aren't ready for anyone? Let's say the girl of my dreams.. had become available last April.. and had given me a short time frame to either get involved with her.. or she would not want to. Would I really have been ready.. right after the illness and death of my mom, and having to move?

I still haven't learned my lesson it seems to either blog it.. or keep it off of here.

This thread serves as a reminder.. one I need to remember.

 

[TMF Jeff]

The reason everyone can see that she's not attracted to you, or looking to develop those feelings, is experience.

You'll see it more clearly too next time, for having gone through this.

 

[TMF Jeff]

This thread serves as a reminder.. one I need to remember.

And really, stop fucking saying this. When you keep saying it over and over again, then NOT remembering, it's hard not to think of you as completely clueless. Learn the lesson quietly inside your brain, not out loud in the thread.

 

[RChello]

Read Jeff and Annie Halls' responses over and over and over..they hit it dead on.......