Australian Redneck

[njjen3953]

A Northern Territory farm hand, radios back to the farm manager.

"Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute. The
pig's OK, but he's stuck in the Bull-Bar at the front of my ute and
is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out."

The manager says "Ok, there's a 303 behind the seat. Take it, shoot
the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him"

5 minutes later...

The farm hand calls back. "I did what you said boss. Took the 303,
shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars. No
problem there, but I still can't go on".

"Now what's the f*****g problem?" raged the manager.

"Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck
under the right-front wheel arch".

 

[amk714]

First, let me say that I have the utmost respect for cops.

Having said that...

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

 

[BigJim]

I guess I should have been offended by that, but it had me on the floor!!! Good one Jen. Perhaps this thread can become the official police joke thread?

 

[Biggles of 266]

very nice, I've never heard that one before 😀

I got told this joke by an aboriginal friend of mine in primary school, so I may as well post it here. Just coz I like all of ya 😉





There's a new teacher at the primary school out in the bush. It's a nice little school, all little aboriginal kids who are very polite and sweet to the new teacher.

Anyway, the teacher's hearing the kids doing their spelling. She gets one little girl up and says 'ok now, I'm gonna tell you the name of an animal. I want you to spell it out for me and make the noise of that animal." The little girl says righto, so the teacher asks her to spell 'dog'. The little girl says "dog, d-o-g, woof woof!"

"Very good," says the teacher. So she gets another little girl to stand up, and says to her "ok, you spell 'cow'." The girl says "no worries, cow, c-o-w, moo!"

"Excellent!" says the teacher. "Now, that little guy up the back, can you do 'pig' for me?" "Sure thing miss!" says this little kid. He stands up the front and says "pig, ya spell that p-i-g."

"Now what noise does a pig make?" says the teacher. "Oh, no worries miss," says the little bloke. "ALRIGHT YOU BLACK BASTARD, HANDS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR! DON'T YOU F*****G TURN AROUND OR I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN THE BLOODY STATION!" says the little kid.




I know, I know it's wrong. I was shocked when he told me, but he was rolling around on the ground pissing himself with laughter so I guess it's not too bad.

Biggles

 

[amk714]

"Now what noise does a pig make?" says the teacher. "Oh, no worries miss," says the little bloke. "ALRIGHT YOU BLACK BASTARD, HANDS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR! DON'T YOU F*****G TURN AROUND OR I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN THE BLOODY STATION!" says the little kid.

I think it's funny because the joke hinges on what kind of pig the kid is talking about. In fact, I believe it could be retold here in America (correcting for slang and replacing the aborigines with African-Americans, of course) by black comedians. It's not PC, but it's a good bit of dark humor. 🙂

 

[BigJim]

No it's not PC, and that's what makes it so frigging funny! May non-PC jokes thrive and multiply! Good one Biggles.