Back after a LONG absence, with a "ticklish" question

[HeBeGeeBee]

It's been ages since I posted on this site (it's been so long, I can't believe I actually remembered my password). Many of you may remember me...many of you won't since you're new. No matter, I could use a bit of advice from anyone wishing to offer it. Here's my dilemma. About a year and a half ago I went through a divorce. Shortly afterward I met a lovely lady who I remain with today. One of the first times we talked on the phone (no, I'm not making this up)...she asked if I knew anything about fetishes. (I thought I had hit paydirt!) When I asked her what SHE knew about fetishes, she said, "Oh, I know all about having a tickling fetish." Let me tell you, if I thought I hit paydirt before, I thought I won the Super Bowl at that moment! After thanking my lucky stars that I met this glorious woman, I asked her, "So, what do you know about that subject?" and I eagerly and breathlessly awaited her response. Except...her response was, "Well, I know people who do it are gay. They get together and tie each other up and tickle each other." After falling off my chair and having all of my guts ripped out of me at that moment, I managed to ask her why she thought that. It turns out she had gotten to know an on-line friend who was somewhat into it (and possibly somewhat gay)...and he directed her to a number of the male/male tickle sites. You can imagine how deflated I was at that moment, in more ways than one. Anyway, it's now a year later and even though I've dropped a number of hints about my interest in this subject I haven't been able to bring myself to fully express my desires in this area...because of that whole gay thing. For those of you who don't know me, I'm mostly a 'lee...so it's not like I'd be asking her to let me do something that would be distasteful to her (she does not like to be tickled at all)...I want her to do it to ME. I have had a number of prior relationships and it was never a problem getting them to indulge me. But she's not into the whole thing, and I really think it may be kind of a mental block for her because of her "gay" perception. Because of this, I can't bring myself to spill my guts, so to speak. She has given a number of half-hearted attempts by lightly stroking me at various times, but it's not the more intense type of stimulation that I enjoy. So, I find myself in a dilemma. Please don't tell me that I need to find someone else or that this relationship is doomed. I care far too much for her in every other way to let this end. I just wish I could find a way to break the ice. Thoughts?

 

[TickledToDeath]

Yo Bro. Your response should have been...

" Honey you are sooo wrong about only gays being into tying and tickling.....straight men and women are as much if not more into tickling than anyone you may have heard about or chatted to and it can be one hell of a turn-on, on many levels and I would be more than willing to prove it to you". That is what you should/could have said and still could now. Nothing to fear my friend. The truth will set you free and get you tickled by her.

Therein is your window of opportunity and you should know where to go from there.

TTD

Have fun!

 

[featherfingers]

First of all, I admire the fact that you care for her above and beyond the tickling thing.

Have you introduced her to TMF yet? You oughta let her read some of these threads. Have her read the following, for example...

"Hi! I just want you to know that I am a 100% straight man and my lady friend is 100% woman! I've been into tickling ever since I can remember and when I came of age, tickling was as normal to me as breathing is. People are people, straight or gay, and tickling is just one of the many activities that can be enjoyed by all, regardless of sexual orientation. It's nice to meet you. Bye."

If you think she'd be freaked out by the fact that TMF is a tickle site, then have a heart to heart talk with her first. You've proven that you will love her despite the fact that she's not into tickling. The best relationships are built on communication. I wish both of you the best.

 

[WorkInProgress]

Unfortunately, the longer you wait, the more she's in a position to say you've kept something from her.

You want to know what occurs to me? This would depend on your being willing to lie to her a little, but only a little and only for a little while. Are you ready? Here's my idea. The next time she starts stroking your belly, ask her to do it a little, then a little more, then a little more, and let it seem like you're discovering for the first time that you have something for tickling. Then tell her a few days later that you surfed the web a little and found out that lots of ticklephiles are straight. Or some variation on that. But the point is, let her feel that you and she are discovering the joy of tickling together spontaneously. And presumably, your masculine credentials and your heterosexuality are established with her anyway, so she should surely see it as learning that tickling isn't gay, rather than "learning" that you are.

Admittedly, this idea isn't for everybody, but if you want it, there it is. Season to taste.

 

[$Tickletorturer]

Not that I'm an expert on the subject or anything but your window of best opportunity was right there on the phone. I would've said something like "well than it should interest you to know I'm into that kinda stuff, and seeing I'm interested in you that would make me quite hetero and thus make you wrong". And if she needed more convincing on the subject show her some of the countless m/f videos that are out there.

 

[BigJim]

You will owe me that $20 one day you bugger!

I'd take the plunge mate. show her the TMF and tell her that an immense amount of people who're straight enjoy it too. Also tell her one experience with one person don't give an accurate picture of anything to do with a whole section of society.

Good luck!

Jim

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to respond in such a thoughtful manner. I appreciate the feedback and input. When she asked me what I wanted for Christmas I probably should have told her right then and there. Hey, there's always New Year's.

Hey, BigJim: I see you're still a big talker. I'm surprised you remembered that little wager after all this time. Who knows, maybe our paths will cross sometime and you can actually have an opportunity to pay up...

 

[BigJim]

Who knows indeed?

 

[AffectionateDan]

I'll echo the wisdom everyone else here has offered...

...after I welcome you back! Truth be told, I didn't know you'd "left" us, but you never really did, now didja?

Now, on to the important issue!

Honesty here is always your best policy! Your time together with this person is precious, is it not? And you want to share all of yourself with her, and she the same, yes? TELL HER. Every moment that passes that you both don't have to share every aspect of yourselves with each other is a tragic, wasted opportunity. Use every moment you have and treasure them.

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Thanks, Dan...

Your answer proves that you truly are an affectionate guy. Seriously, I did "go away" from this forum for over a year. Don't ask me why...I'm not sure myself. Just needed a break, I guess.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. As I said, I never had a problem voicing my desires in past relationships and I always was able to "bring them around", so to speak. But this one is different. I care for this woman more than any before her (there I go sounding all "affectionate") and I truly don't want to jeopardize what we now have. If it means forgoing my favorite pasttime, then so be it. But it probably doesn't have to be that way, based on everyone's responses. I know there have been a multitude of questions posted in this forum on similar situations. I know that relationships have ended because one partner was into it and the other wasn't.

I think my situation is just a tiny bit different because of that wild card about the "gay" thing (and in the immortal words of Seinfeld, not that there's anything wrong with that). Of course, keeping with the Seinfeld topic, maybe she'll just be like Elaine and playfully push me while saying, "Get out" and then jump my bones. After all, I am spongeworthy, if I do say so myself. On the other hand, she may be like the Soup Nazi and say, "No tickling for you." Let's hope not.

 

[chrisheaven]

great to see you here- I find myself agreeing with Dan's remarks

 

[WorkInProgress]

Modifying my own earlier note a bit so as not to advocate a subterfuge, I still say, if you're not comfortable with saying to her "I have a tickling fetish," a compromise still might be, "I have to tell you something: it really turns me on when you tickle me...please, do that some more..."

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Actually...

Last night we were laying around and she suddenly started running her nails up and down my back. I thought, "Cool...here's my chance." I said, "I'll tell you what I really want for Christmas...for you to do that all over for about three hours." She laughed and kept it up for a while longer. I guess the next step is to show her where else (and how) I like it. Since she's not into it herself (doesn't like to be tickled and for that reason probably hasn't done it to many other people) she really doesn't have a "knack" for it. Maybe I'll print off these messages and wrap them up in a bow as one of her Christmas presents. Then I'll put just a bow on myself and she can unwrap both of them at the same time...

 

[WorkInProgress]

>> Maybe I'll print off these messages
>> and wrap them up in a bow as one of
>> her Christmas presents. Then I'll
>> put just a bow on myself and she can
>> unwrap both of them at the same time...


Good luck, my friend.