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Bad Jokes

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the bulb has to admit it needs to change.
 
Why did little Joey throw the clock out of the window?

He wanted to see time fly.
 
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Goliath
Goliath who?
Go lieth down. Thou looketh tired. 😛
 
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stew
Stew who?
Stupid of you to ask. 😛
 
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
 
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
 
What did the left leg say to the right leg?
Between you and me, we need a haircut!
 
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
 
How much would could a woodchuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
 
Teacher: "Kids, what does the fat chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the fat pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
 
Ok, here goes....

What did the leper tell the prostitute?

"Keep the tip"
 
Who is made of rubber and has a toe?
Roberto
 
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