Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes
hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to
start." We will then drink beer.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
----------------------------------------------- Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under
any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and
no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger. I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what
I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.
------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your
mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about
her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked
the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it--looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2002,
I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
This has been a public service message for Women, to better understand the Male ..........
Ven
hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to
start." We will then drink beer.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
----------------------------------------------- Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under
any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and
no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger. I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what
I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.
------------------------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your
mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about
her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked
the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it--looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just
go now?
-----------------------------------------------
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2002,
I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
This has been a public service message for Women, to better understand the Male ..........
Ven
Why DID you have to publish all our little secrets? 
