Birth Order

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I know that whether you're an only child like me, first born, etc... plays a part in our lives. I am not saying that it should define who we are but I have a book on the subject and it's very interesting. For example, I have read a lot of what it says on only children and even though it's a generalization a lot of it is very true. One of the things it says is something like if an only child is in a house by his or herself they are not lonely.


Has anyone felt that where they fall in the birth order effect their lives in some way? Looking forward to replies.


😎

 

[Ayla ny]

absolutely! I am a big believer in the whole birth order thing. I am the first born of three, who was plunged into the mother role as soon as I was a sibling… and I fit that role to this day. I am always putting other people’s needs above my own, am constantly trying to live up to “The Ideal” and am responsible to fault. in other words… I’m neurotic as hell 😉

it just makes sense to me. the role you take while learning to be a grownup is the one you take into grownup-hood. for better or for worse. 🙂

 

[barefoot_m_uk]

Agreed Ayla

As another first-born, I echo those sentiments.

Always been the 'responsible one'. Tend to take on more than I should, and over-analyse stuff.

OMG I'm doing it right now!!!

 

[Ayla ny]

over-analyze? take on too much? you mean everyone doesn’t try to save the world and then wonder how they should have done it better?

you know what has me wondering? birth order and ‘ler / ‘lee preference…

 

[barefoot_m_uk]

Ler/Lee

I suspect I wouldn't be the only eldest child who likes to give over a bit of the responsibility in a tickling situation ...

 

[amk714]

if an only child is in a house by his or herself they are not lonely.

For me that's true, because I'm an only child, but I have you and all of the other TMF members to keep me company.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Actually, the 'Birth Order' theory/thesis is a well known one. And, it stands up.

I think that I would actually have benefitted from being an only child. Don't let my sister know that, though

 

[isabeau]

i am the oldest of two girls. i was shy and introverted, my sister outgoing and brass. i was insecure, my sister overly confident. i was a virgin when i married, my sister was not..... i was expected to make good grades and graduate with honors, my sister was not.... i was afraid of mom all my life, my sister was not.... we grew up in the same house, same blood, same parents, but are totally different. why i havent the foggiest. and while i love my sister, i do not like her. i would never choose her for a friend. we are totally different. i dont like cocky people and she is. i hate braggers, and she is..

last but not least, i lost three babies, she has two children.... what went wrong?

isabeau

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Isabeau, I once had a good friend who could've said the exact same thing as you did, in regards his younger brother...a man, who, upon exiting grad school, was told by a top ten company in the Fortune 500 that they were sorry, but they would only be able to start him at $85,000. This was two decades ago. All while his older brother had trouble finding a job as a school teacher. Said younger brother became very, very successful, while older brother had two failed marriages, an inability to sire children of his own, and last I spoke to him, he was stocking shelves in a Wal-Mart on the overnight.

Your situation's far from unique, Isabeau...

 

[isabeau]

yea Knoxy also she has an ass for a husband. so i am far luckier in the long run than she is. and dont get the wrong impression, i dont hate her, of course not. and sometimes i even like her. but not usually. we are as different as night and day, in appearance also. but i do sometimes get tired of hearing all her problems. also i am wondering , after mom died, she went on three mini vacations all within thrree months of moms death, i went into a major depression. strange..... i guess different people react differently also my sister never let mom lay the guilt trip on her.

isabeau u

 

[Knox The Hatter]

You are the lucky one, sweetie.

That former friend I mentioned? He had a nervous breakdown back in '99...he let all that crap with his brother, among other things, get to him. He and I aren't friends anymore, because I had several epiphanies as to what kind of a friend he was, and didn't pay any attention to them until it was really too late, but that's a story for another day.

It sounds like you're getting along, Isabeau. That's good.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

i honestly think i'm kind of a mixture of an only child personality and the oldest personality. i think a lot of the oldest children have some qualities that are found in only children.
i'm the oldest of three kids (and I'm the only girl with two brothers). i grew up more responsible than my brothers. i never made my parents mad; if i wanted something and my parents said no, i didn't whine or beg; i did what i was told to. but also, when i'm by myself, i don't feel lonely. because when i'm by myself, i don't have to deal with my brothers or my parents. it's when i can relax and write or read.
and i love my brothers, but there were days growing up wishing my mom stopped after me or stopped after having one boy. i also wished i had sisters. oh well, that's life. 😀

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I really want to thank everyone for their responses so far. Amk I am glad we have something in common we are both only children. You said you are not lonely because you TMF members to keep you company and that's fine. However, even before the Internet when I was alone in my house which was hard sometimes 🙁 most of the time I didn't feel lonely. Like I said, I did sometimes and I guess that's normal. Hope I get more responses.