Blonde Moments!

[njjen3953]

Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Tracy"

"Yeah. What's it called Sharon?"

"Viens a moi."

"Viens a moi? What the does that mean?"

At this stage the store clerk offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'"

Sharon takes anther sniff and offers her arm to Tracy again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you

 

[qjakal]

more...

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker
lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing
some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops
for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car,
runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if
they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and
you are still losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the
blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker
lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are
losing even more of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back
to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says...
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Illinois and I'm driving the SALT
TRUCK!

 

[venray]

OK..you ASKED for it.......

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish
his just spent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before
drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it
in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I
always wondered how you refilled those."



continuing...........


A man starts work in a sex shop, on his first day, his boss leaves him alone for a while while he goes out. At this time, a blonde walks in: she asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in
and asks, "How much for the black dildo?"
He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one
before..." She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are
your dildos?" He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."
She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"
He: "Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $165."
She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never
had a plaid one before...." She pays him, and off she goes.
Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?"
To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!"

 

[tummyticklish01]

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are at a club, and they all decide to go to the ladie's room to refreshen. Before they enter an old lady with towels tell them that the mirror in there is magical. You can go up to it and say something that is true, and get what you most desire, but if you say something false, you get sucked in forever.

So first the brunette goes in, she faces the mirror and says. "i think i'm the smartest of our group." which is true, so out pops a ferrari. Then comes in the red-head, she says, "i think i'm the prettiest of our group." which is true, so a million dollars pops out. the blonde then walks in, and says, "i think..." and gets sucked in😀

 

[venray]

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'

 

[njjen3953]

Being a natural blonde, trust me when I say I have heard them all. 😛

Jen

 

[milagros317]

I may have posted this before, but it is my favorite blonde joke:

Three weeks after Ted breaks up with Sally, a blonde, he is horrified to come home and find that she is waiting at his door, holding a pistol. When she sees him, she points the gun at her own heart, and he is relieved, and smiles.

"You can just wipe that grin off your face, Ted," she says, "because you're next!"

 

[venray]

How Blondes print word docs...