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Boundary Issues Concerning Women

CapturedDoll said:
I get what you are saying... and as far as Women's Issues OVERALL...and per HERE.. you have a point.

What should a women come to expect on a sexual forum... it's an interesting point to chew on for awhile. Where ARE the limits? And green lights?
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A woman should expect to be treated like any other person on the forum.
Why should being a woman make any difference?
There is no reason to expect, condone, or tolerate being treated differently.
Someone else's perception of you gives them absolutely no excuse to treat you any differently.
 
Wolf said:
A woman should expect to be treated like any other person on the forum.
Why should being a woman make any difference?
There is no reason to expect, condone, or tolerate being treated differently.
Someone else's perception of you gives them absolutely no excuse to treat you any differently.
Click to expand...


Joe Biden said in a speech on I believe it was a college campus. And I summarize:

"A woman can take off her clothes... and get completely naked. And walk out that door. When she's steps out that door it's illegal. BUT NO MAN HAS THE RIGHT TO LAY A FINGER ON HER."

Now... this is a forum. Where I actively engage in being highly sexual. How do I relay what I need as far as my own personal boundaries... without a man taking offense. Or... hearing No... and accepting that. Graciously. Seems impossible to date. MOST CAN. But it's the ones that don't I speak of.

I want to be gracious. I want to be thoughtful and kind. As per my own needs to keep my own moral code. So... with that in mind. How do I go about that?
 
CapturedDoll said:
Now... this is a forum. Where I actively engage in being highly sexual. How do I relay what I need as far as my own personal boundaries... without a man taking offense.
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All you have to do is make your boundaries clear. Which you do.
It's not up to you to keep someone else from taking offense.
No one has a right to take offense at your boundaries.
You don't take offense to theirs, do you? You don't judge other people's boundaries. I've never had that kind of conversation with you, and even I know you don't.
You (understandably) keep looking at this like it's your responsibility to protect someone else's feelings when talking about your boundaries. It's not your responsibility.
 
Wolf said:
All you have to do is make your boundaries clear. Which you do.
It's not up to you to keep someone else from taking offense.
No one has a right to take offense at your boundaries.
You don't take offense to theirs, do you? You don't judge other people's boundaries. I've never had that kind of conversation with you, and even I know you don't.
You (understandably) keep looking at this like it's your responsibility to protect someone else's feelings when talking about your boundaries. It's not your responsibility.
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I never really thought about it like this. I DON"T judge other people's boundaries. I accept it. It clicks immediately.

When people push mine.... I know they don't know me by how they approach me... SOMETIMES. And since every conversation is different. I'm constantly having to.... every conversation is so different and at this point Idk who knows me... knows that I have a Boyfriend etc etc. It's like I'm constantly having to re explain. Or I'll be knee deep over the course of a few months in correspondence and suddenly I have to put my foot down. It feels like a constant cycle... that has no concrete, understood barriers.

Even on Fetlife... where the profile is dead on in a persons face. I finally just deleted my introduction. No one pays attention. It's MADDENING!!!! 🙁 I'm going to hide my profile again. We're not ready to attend events yet anyway.

I get on some level it's the nature of the beast of the internet. But... smfh I just wish their was magical sentence that could just explain away... I've actually thought about copying and pasting my answers. I don't want to do that! That's plastic. I... Idk.
 
whatever happened to the good old days of just ignoring all guyz? I'm half j/k here. ... don't wanna be plastic but I think a lot of people don't resist going autopilot. behind a keyboard, it's even worse. it doesn't have to be sexual either. ....I remember I was sharing music with a friend and after a while I was outlining "see how bands promote on a pattern?" sharing youtube links. the friend I was sending stuff to literally thought it was all links to the same band. that's how stupid the net has enabled people to be.
 
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CapturedDoll said:
I never really thought about it like this. I DON"T judge other people's boundaries. I accept it. It clicks immediately.
When people push mine.... I know they don't know me by how they approach me... SOMETIMES. And since every conversation is different. I'm constantly having to.... every conversation is so different and at this point Idk who knows me... knows that I have a Boyfriend etc etc. It's like I'm constantly having to re explain. Or I'll be knee deep over the course of a few months in correspondence and suddenly I have to put my foot down. It feels like a constant cycle... that has no concrete, understood barriers.
Even on Fetlife... where the profile is dead on in a persons face. I finally just deleted my introduction. No one pays attention. It's MADDENING!!!! 🙁 I'm going to hide my profile again. We're not ready to attend events yet anyway.
I get on some level it's the nature of the beast of the internet. But... smfh I just wish their was magical sentence that could just explain away... I've actually thought about copying and pasting my answers. I don't want to do that! That's plastic. I... Idk.
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See, that's the thing...it's not your job to worry about anyone's feelings if you've made your boundaries clear.
Making your boundaries clear is respecting their feelings, because you're trying to avoid hurting them.
If they're hurt because you won't change yours, that's not your problem. Period. And, it's manipulation.
You shouldn't feel bad about it, you should feel pissed off that someone's using your own good nature to manipulate you into changing your boundaries.
 
duderino84 said:
whatever happened to the good old days of just ignoring all guyz? I'm half j/k here. ... don't wanna be plastic but I think a lot of people don't resist going autopilot. behind a keyboard, it's even worse. it doesn't have to be sexual either. ....I remember I was sharing music with a friend and after a while I was outlining "see how bands promote on a pattern?" sharing youtube links. the friend I was sending stuff to literally thought it was all links to the same band. that's how stupid the net has enabled people to be.
Click to expand...

Thats true... people don't put much thought into much anymore. Kick thoughts out willy nilly without actually comprehending how they may be perceived. Or the consequences. Since human emotions have a hard time translating over the net... they're taken for granted. Deleted. Or scrolled away from.
 
Wolf said:
Can we please not make this thread about you and your issues with women?
Please?
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For real, this has nothing to do with that and you know it, you're stirring the shit for no reason when I was trying to reply TO HER. get a life.
 
Wolf said:
See, that's the thing...it's not your job to worry about anyone's feelings if you've made your boundaries clear.
Making your boundaries clear is respecting their feelings, because you're trying to avoid hurting them.
If they're hurt because you won't change yours, that's not your problem. Period. And, it's manipulation.
You shouldn't feel bad about it, you should feel pissed off that someone's using your own good nature to manipulate you into changing your boundaries.
Click to expand...

YEAH. I forget sometimes that some are trying to be manipulative. Though I did catch that this week in 2 out of 3 scenarios. I'm not so blind... 🙂

Yay me. *pats myself on the back* 🙂
 
Wolf said:
He only said as such in an edit after I commented. I only replied to the one sentence he had posted at the time.
No matter.
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Well going back to reread he said he half joking. I understood that as sometimes I WOULD like to just ignore certain messages- and do sometimes. So yes... no matter.

Moving on...
 
CapturedDoll said:
YEAH. I forget sometimes that some are trying to be manipulative. Though I did catch that this week in 2 out of 3 scenarios. I'm not so blind... 🙂
Yay me. *pats myself on the back* 🙂
Click to expand...

Hey, it's progress.
 
Wolf said:
Hey, it's progress.
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It is. 🙂 It's not so easy to see some times. Through the charm... But because I have a Boyfriend... I will eventually see it because there is no end game for them with me.
 
CapturedDoll said:
It is. 🙂 It's not so easy to see some times. Through the charm... But because I have a Boyfriend... I will eventually see it because there is no end game for them with me.
Click to expand...

Sure, and if you're the type to care about other's feelings before your own, it's easy to assume they're just being vulnerable and honest. But you'd think someone vulnerable and honest would understand that other people have boundaries, too....
 
Wolf said:
He only said as such in an edit after I commented. I only replied to the one sentence he had posted at the time.
No matter.
Click to expand...

No, I changed it because I felt slightly mean. you had nothing to do with it.

want to shut me up? stop white knighting. it's part of the problems OUTSIDE THE TMF.
 
Wolf said:
Sure, and if you're the type to care about other's feelings before your own, it's easy to assume they're just being vulnerable and honest. But you'd think someone vulnerable and honest would understand that other people have boundaries, too....
Click to expand...

YES.

In our own ways... while we're all open for certain things...or at least willing to consider certain things... we do ALL, M and F, come in our own ways with our own little manual. And if you don't read the instructions... we as humans will break. Either ourselves... or each other. And that is not fun for anyone involved. No ONE gets to play at that point.

I'm not suggesting we're toys in case anyone missed the deeper message.
 
duderino84 said:
No, I changed it because I felt slightly mean. you had nothing to do with it.

want to shut me up? stop white knighting. it's part of the problems OUTSIDE THE TMF.
Click to expand...

Oh, all right. You win. Thought we'd moved on, but...okay.
Tell us all about it.
Especially how what you call "white knighting" is such a problem outside the TMF.
 
CapturedDoll said:
YES.

In our own ways... while we're all open for certain things...or at least willing to consider certain things... we do ALL, M and F, come in our own ways with our own little manual. And if you don't read the instructions... we as humans will break. Either ourselves... or each other. And that is not fun for anyone involved. No ONE gets to play at that point.
I'm not suggesting we're toys in case anyone missed the deeper message.
Click to expand...

That's the thing. If you're treating someone like a human being, who has needs, feelings, vulnerabilities, and so on,
why do they not have to treat you the same way, just because a hard-on is involved?
 
Wolf said:
That's the thing. If you're treating someone like a human being, who has needs, feelings, vulnerabilities, and so on,
why do they not have to treat you the same way, just because a hard-on is involved?
Click to expand...

Exactly. Thats the question of the hour. If not most issues concerning the sexual rights of women. But lets stick to online rights and boundaries.

Just because I get someone off through my creativities... doesn't give anyone the right to more interactions with me or anyone. Male or Female.
 
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