Can submissives have limits?

[Eastmumnatrix]

One of my subs asked me this question earlier today and my response was Yes absolutely. Submissives have just as much right to boundaries and preferences as dominants. Healthy dynamics are built on mutual respect and clear communication of each person’s needs and limits.

What do you all think?

 

[kurchatovium]

Yes of course.

Dominance and submission is sort of a dance between two parties. Everyone needs to be on the same page so there are no miscues. When done well it's lots of fun for both, but you have to know what each other likes and dislikes are in my humble opinion.

 

[WickedTouch]

One of my subs asked me this question earlier today and my response was Yes absolutely. Submissives have just as much right to boundaries and preferences as dominants. Healthy dynamics are built on mutual respect and clear communication of each person’s needs and limits.

What do you all think?

Of course! I've always thought of BDSM play as a Venn diagram for the dominant and submissive, where one circle represents what the dominant is willing and able to do, the other circle represents what the submissive is willing and able to do, and the overlapping part is acceptable D/s play. Anything outside of that overlapping portion is at the very least a misunderstanding, and possibly abuse or worse. I think a lot of submissives (and dominants too!) conflate submission with total lack of control or self-responsibility within the play. And to some extent, they are often giving up some control, and some responsibility during the activities, but they are ultimately in control of their body, their boundaries, and what vulnerabilities they do and do not wish to share with the dominant.

On the surface, BDSM can look like an abusive one-sided dark indulgence, and it unfortunately can end up that way sometimes, but as long as each party has mutual respect for the other's desires and autonomy, it's a beautifully equal exchange between two people who each bring something to share that the other craves.

 

[Deleted member 298024]

Yes, submissives are people too. The only arena I could understand this being more of a discussion is if it were a slave situation.

Any that view submissives as people who have no limits are either incredibly uneducated, ignorant, or shit Dom/me's.