Cheating

[Adam]

Its my view that cheating counts as an affectionate act with someone other than your partner, but there are obvious gaps in this theory so im going to contradict myself. be it kissing, sex, or whatever else, its cheating. your sharing this affection with another.

Now you say having a cuddle is an affectionate act but is blatently not cheating, the same for a quick kiss on the cheek to say hello or goodbye between friends. I agree and this shows theres no solid rule.

I think we all know full well what is acceptable to do whilst in a relationship and whats not, you know its cheating when it feels wrong and you know your other half would be hurt if they were to find out. Peoples idea of right and wrong is what tends to ruin it, some people think its ok to kiss passionately with someone other than theyre partner, whilst theyre partner will most likely see it differently.

To cheat is to take that magical bond you have with a person and to share it elsewhere. those of us lucky enuf to make this bond with someone should in my opinion respect it and either remain loyal to theyre partner or to be honest and split up, theres never an excuse to cheat.

Sure you can say, "well they cheated on me first" but does that REALLY make it ok? you label someone as a cheater and then wish to aquire that label yourself just for revenge? I would prefere to make it to my death bed still being able to say that that im no cheat! once youve cheated you will never be abe to say that again! it CANNOT be undone..

For that reason, no, ive never cheated and never will, and for those same reasons, those who have cheated on me in the past will never have even a portion of my respect.

A roundabout way of answering a simple question I know 😀

Excellent post, Hari. Spot on. If it feels wrong, don't do it.

 

[Sir Shish Kabob]

If I felt a need or strong desire to cheat on someone, the chances are that I'd feel such a need again, so continuing the relationship would be a waste of my time and a waste of the other person's. Those are just my thoughts on why cheating is a waste.

For most I hear it's because they are either missing something from their current relationship or they just don't care that much about it, but don't want to call off the relationship for whatever reasons.

 

[Saeria]

Let's put this scenario on the table, because i'm interested in what everyone thinks about this little spin on cheating. Let's say you're in a relationship, or a marriage in which there has been no love, no closeness and no affection for a number of years. You know with certainty your s/o is engaging in sexual acts with other people in order to fill a desire within themselves that they have long since stopped feeling you could fill. Eventually, i think anyone would seek affection elsewhere... I'm not saying having sex with someone. Just affection, the feeling that someone appreciates your presence after all. Perhaps everyone needs to feel at least appreciated, if not loved to some degree or another. I'm certainly no exception.

I will admit to cheating on my husband, not in a sexual manner usually (though sexual encounters did occur, always brought on by being massively polluted at the time and being far too angry to understand how to cope with it appropriately) just through being close to someone just for a brief period of time. While I was enjoying my stay at a women's shelter and he was at home sharing our bed with women under the influence (there's a better name for this sort, i'll let you fill in the name), I more than once indulged in the closeness of someone who once upon a time was very dear to me. This was far different than the whole getting polluted and having angry sex with a friend because asshat was on a crack binge. These were instances in which, given the opportunity, i could have put my whole heart and soul into it. To this day, i've felt a mixture of satisfaction and shame concerning these instances simply because while i DID finally receive the emotional pat on the head i needed at that time, i was still doing no different than asshat. In the end, i wound up hurting someone close to me and crawling back into the hole i was desperately trying to escape from simple shame.

Having taken a step back, i'm still perplexed as to whether or not i would have to consider this cheating or the desperate grapplings of someone who'd been left alone too long.

 

[lilyisticklish]

Well the answer to this question is complicated for me. I have been abused/molested the majority of my life, and the way that has impacted me is profound. I really do not feel the need to go into extreme detail. I have cheated and it was more than once. I felt terrible about every incidence, and told my boyfriend about them all. I sincerely am remorseful and my boyfriend has forgiven me. I don't feel that once a cheater always a cheater. I also feel that some extenuating circumstances can at times explain, NOT excuse, cheating.

I have no proof but I believe that I have been cheated on in the past. It is a terrible, hurtful thing to do/have done to anyone.

 

[huskys]

I have never cheated, and couldn't ever cheat.
I've had this discussuion with people I know, and have had them ask me how I can "know" that I wouldn't, and talk about circumstances etc.
All I can say is that I that I "know" myself.
I view it as wrong, would be devastated if someone did it to me, and could never do it to anyone else.
Thats just the way I'm made. People can disagree if they want. But cheatin' aint for me!!!

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Let's put this scenario on the table, because i'm interested in what everyone thinks about this little spin on cheating. Let's say you're in a relationship, or a marriage in which there has been no love, no closeness and no affection for a number of years. You know with certainty your s/o is engaging in sexual acts with other people in order to fill a desire within themselves that they have long since stopped feeling you could fill. Eventually, i think anyone would seek affection elsewhere... I'm not saying having sex with someone. Just affection, the feeling that someone appreciates your presence after all. Perhaps everyone needs to feel at least appreciated, if not loved to some degree or another. I'm certainly no exception.

I will admit to cheating on my husband, not in a sexual manner usually (though sexual encounters did occur, always brought on by being massively polluted at the time and being far too angry to understand how to cope with it appropriately) just through being close to someone just for a brief period of time. While I was enjoying my stay at a women's shelter and he was at home sharing our bed with women under the influence (there's a better name for this sort, i'll let you fill in the name), I more than once indulged in the closeness of someone who once upon a time was very dear to me. This was far different than the whole getting polluted and having angry sex with a friend because asshat was on a crack binge. These were instances in which, given the opportunity, i could have put my whole heart and soul into it. To this day, i've felt a mixture of satisfaction and shame concerning these instances simply because while i DID finally receive the emotional pat on the head i needed at that time, i was still doing no different than asshat. In the end, i wound up hurting someone close to me and crawling back into the hole i was desperately trying to escape from simple shame.

Having taken a step back, i'm still perplexed as to whether or not i would have to consider this cheating or the desperate grapplings of someone who'd been left alone too long.

My opinion is that's only "cheating" on the title of being in a relationship or marriage.

Either of those without any actual love is a relationship only in name or on a piece of paper that says in the eyes of the law you're husband and wife.

Can't really cheat when there's really nothing to cheat on.

 

[Adam]

My opinion is that's only "cheating" on the title of being in a relationship or marriage.

Either of those without any actual love is a relationship only in name or on a piece of paper that says in the eyes of the law you're husband and wife.

Can't really cheat when there's really nothing to cheat on.

Yeah, I really take no issue with the above statement. I've said this before, probably dating back about a year ago. I will never feel bad for someone that has been cheated on if said person is some sort of abusive, loveless, emotionally dead jerk. It's the good folks that treat their mates right that I can relate to.

 

[locker669]

One girlfriend slept with my best friend (my roommate at the time). Lucky for me another friend needed a roommate and I moved out a week later. They broke up a week later and she started calling me saying how sorry she was. I kept telling her to leave me alone there was no way I would ever trust her again but she wouldn't give up. Finally I told her she was dead to me and never to call me again. Looking back that was wrong to say but also looking back her cheating was the best thing to happen to me. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for what she did.