Corporate Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she
opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she
says a
word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the
world" Poof!
She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing
on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and
the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 3:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting
very high up.
Corporate Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of
the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the
tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't
keep
you there.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she
opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she
says a
word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in
the
world" Poof!
She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing
on
the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and
the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 3:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting
very high up.
Corporate Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of
the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the
tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't
keep
you there.
