Corrupt A Wish!

[sparkychao]

This game is fairly simple. Someone makes a wish, then the person who posts below grants the wish but with a negative twist and then makes a wish of his/her own. For example, if I wished for for a microwave for some reason, the below poster could say something like "Granted, but it randomly bursts into flames" and then make their own wish. I'll start since there's nobody above me.

I wish for a pet Pikachu.

 

[daphneticklish1]

Granted, but it will shock you constantly.

I wish to pass my final exams.

 

[sparkychao]

Granted, but it will lead to a life of poverty

I wish for an outdoor pool.

 

[shy_ticklee_m]

Granted,
But the pool will inhabit a rare parasite. That's not indigenous to your area (Therefore harder to find a cure.)

I wish for a more comfortable chair.

 

[daphneticklish1]

Granted, but it will break immediately.

I wish for better internet.

 

[Morgoths1]

Granted, but you will share it with the entire neighborhood

I wish a new laptop.

 

[sparkychao]

Granted, but it runs really slowly and rejects plugins

I wish I had a cat

 

[Violetta]

Granted. You now have to own a cat.

I wish that joke had been funnier.

 

[BlackFeather51]

Jajajajajajaaja granted! jajajajaajaja But now, your joke is also racist and everyone is mad at you (?)

I wish better self-esteem

 

[arachnid95]

Granted. Now, instead of low-self esteem, you will be an insufferable, arrogant jerk who pisses everyone off. XD

I wish I had super powers.

 

[BlackFeather51]

Granted! You have superstrengh! But now, everyone in the world hast superstrengh, so you are as strong as everybody in the world.

I wish to read the womens minds, like Travolta (?)

 

[Senshi1]

Granted, but they're all thinking nasty thoughts about you. >_<

I wish I could make the perfect sandwich.

 

[BlackFeather51]

But they already think that way about me TT.TT

Granted, you can make the perfect Sandwich... but you can´t eat it.

I wish to know what can i wish now (?)

 

[shy_ticklee_m]

Granted. But you forget everything else in terms of memory of everything prior to realizing your wish.

I wish for a slight hair cut.

 

[arachnid95]

Granted; a single hair on your head is cut in half. Not a super vicious twist or anything, but a waste of a wish, and enough to make you want to smack your genie. XD

I wish I had the ability to instantly learn any skill I want just by watching someone else do it.

 

[daphneticklish1]

Granted, but you forget the skill as soon as you try to use it.

I wish that I could rewind time.

 

[BlackFeather51]

Granted, but the Dahaka will try to kill you... ok, ok, I won't use Prince of Persia references.
Granted, but you can remember what happened in the time you rewinded

I wish to learn to sing!

 

[daphneticklish1]

(Can or can't remember?)

Granted but your voice randomly breaks when you sing.

I wish I could afford all the games I've been wanting to buy.

 

[BlackFeather51]

I wanted to say can't, sorry xD

Granted, but your PC and consoles breaks, so you can´t play them. I'll be curious, what games do you want to buy?

I wish... I wish a hug from TickleLolita! :blush

 

[daphneticklish1]

Oh, too many games to list. The main two would be GTA V ad Just Cause 3.

Granted, but I switch places with an old man half way through the hug.

I wish I would remember to make a wish before hitting submit.

 

[Senshi1]

Granted, but the wish then gets corrupted!

I wish for a pony!

 

[TKLVR181]

Granted, but the wish then gets corrupted!

I wish for a pony!

Granted. You now live with Pinkie Pie AND me. Godspeed.

I wish for a job.

~K

 

[daphneticklish1]

Granted, but it's at WalMart, so you still can't live off of it.

I wish I could see my dog Rusty again.

 

[sparkychao]

Granted, but he's a zombie. (Was that insensitive?)

I wish I was in shape again.

 

[Cryptic71]

Granted, but that shape is compared to the most obese man in the world, so you're still kinda fat.

I wish for a million dollars that I can keep for however long I want, and which I can spend on whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, for whomever I want, in whatever amount I want. And this money is to come to me in a way that carries no negative repercussions, catch 22s, or expenses for me, any of those I care about, society in general, or the planet at large.

I'm doing this because when working with occult stuff (which I do), the universe likes to fuck with you in this exact way. I one time wished for a large amount of money that I could spend on whatever I wanted, and that the money would come to me with no negative consequences to me or any of those I care about. The spell (if you wanna call it that) worked. A few days or a week later, my mom offered me to go to Youmacon, and gave me like 80$ to spend on shit while I was there. My dad gave me another 40, and my friend gave me a ride. The catch, was that I had to give anything I didn't spend back when I was done. So haha, universe got me good. (Still made off with some awesome swagg though)

Anyways, in the spirit of the game we're all playing...

I wish I had a chocolate bar.