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Curroupt a Wish

granted, but 4 seconds later, you learned you're stuck in your new position for eternity

I wish I didn't have to work so $%^&(()*(&&^%^ing much
 
Deal. But it's now in Personals, where nobody ever goes...

I wish I was in Columbus, OH this weekend.

Snail Shell
 
granted, but the person you seek is headed towards YOUR house

I wish for some ice cream on this now warm day
 
Granted, but you trip and fall, spilling it onto the dirty pavement.

I wish for an end to the monotony of everyday life.
 
Granted, but they are the horrid Jack in the Box tacos

I wish for some extra spending money
 
Granted, but it is a box that should have been recalled due to the recent crisis of an employee using arsenic as a flavoring agent instead of salt.

I wish I had someone to play Rock Band with right now.
 
Granted, but then you will have to listen to Republicans braying in your ear that its all your fault global warming possibly exists.

I wish I could phase through walls.
 
Granted, but you wil be covered with plaster dust.



I wish that these 50 degree days would continue.
 
Granted, but you are immediately transferred to the South Pole.


I wish I had a tasty snack.
 
Granted, but before you can even turn it on, a yeti breaks into your house and steals it.


I wish I had a pet yeti to do my bidding.
 
Granted. But you are arrested for possession of a stolen computer. LOL.

I wish there were more hours of daylight in the winter.
 
Granted. However, you've become allergic to sunlight and must stay indoors.


I wish it were summer.
 
Granted, but you are transported to summer in the Middle East, where temperatures can become unbearable.

I wish my tax returns would hurry up and get mailed.
 
Granted, but you are then targeted for an audit and due to an unknown clerical error, you now owe the government $742,892.17 in back taxes.



I wish it were still football season.
 
Granted, but it is European football rather than American.

I wish that directors would stop making remakes of good movies.
 
Granted, now they only remake bad movies.



I wish we had a TMF compound where we could all go to hang out.
 
Granted, but it is located near a fat rendering plant so the stench would kill the mood.


I wish I lived on the east side so I could attend more gatherings
 
Granted, but now everyone else has moved to the west side.



I wish this recession would end.
 
Granted, but we then revert back to the barter system where we use chickens as currency. And that would give the farmers control of the market.


I wish to increase my collection of medieval weapons
 
Granted, you gain a cursed sword that makes you sexually attractive to farm animals.


I wish to be entertained by sexy harem women.
 
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