Curroupt a Wish

[slacker2114]

Granted. You buy her a vaccum cleaner which she promptly beats you senseless with.

I wish I had a better grasp on life.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. Here's some velcro. That should improve your grasp.

I wish they made a finale to Samurai Jack.

Snail Shell

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. However, it's changed into a Sex in the City type finale that causes anime geeks everywhere to hang themselves.

I wish the government would stop screwing over the people.

 

[Artoo]

Granted. But they've redefined what counts as people, and you're not included.

I wish my dealer would hurry up and get here.

 

[milagros317]

He does, but only to rip you off.

I wish for good weather tomorrow.

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. It's a beautiful day. On the other side of the world from you.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

 

[KrazieDog]

Granted, but you're cutting my grass....yes that IS 2000 acres, so keep pushing bitch! 😛

I wish I had hot yellow sheet cake coming right out of the oven.

 

[tklee88]

you get your cake, but you aren't allowed to eat it until it grows mold 😀

I wish nest would be tomorrow!

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. However, they won't let you in without paying a hefty cover charge.

I wish I could have a long paid vacation.

 

[milagros317]

Granted, but it's in Antarctica and you have no coat. 😱

I wish for $10 million tax free.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted, but with today's economy, you've only filled up the gas tank to your car once with it.

I wish things would improve.

Snail Shell

 

[slacker2114]

Granted. Things have improved. You however, still fail.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.

 

[Sanhael]

Granted. Just so you know, unemployment comp. applications are now available online in most states.

I wish I was incredibly charming.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

granted...but you can't talk, and any charming gestures or facial expressions you try to make just come off as uber-creepy.


I wish I had 4 roommates for NEST

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. I'd name names, but that's just cruel.

I wish it was Dec 29th, right the fuck now.

Snail Shell

 

[paracarl44]

Granted, but you will not receive any calendars for the new year.



I wish that it would get warmer here today.

 

[Insanity_184]

Granted now its just colder thant the surface of hell

I wish i could figure out what that one switch in my house turns on

 

[paracarl44]

Granted, it is installed on a metal chair which will become electrified when you are sitting in it.


I wish that I could win the lottery tonight.

 

[Snail Shell]

Congrats. You won a free ticket for next week.

I wish lunch was ready.

Snail Shell

 

[natural tickler]

Granted.

Your grilled limburger cheese sandwich is ready

I wish I had my Radio Flyer wagon

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, however it was in a museum and the cops are currently tracing it to your home.

I wish I had a good book to read.

 

[Snail Shell]

Granted. Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. 😀

I wish I felt better.

Snail Shell

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, the sensitivity of the nerve endings in your hands have increased to painful proportions.

I wish weekends lasted longer.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Granted - weekends are 7 days long...but you have to work them

I wish I had some delicioius lunch 🙂

 

[slacker2114]

Granted, but just as you go to bite into it, a pigeon flies over and shits on it.

I wish I had less regrets in life.