dating someone not in the fetish

[Rage]

In my experience sometimes girls just don't want to be tickled. There could be many reasons. Bad childhood experiences or they may just be too sensitive. They have more of a right NOT to be tickled than you have to tickle them. I have dated several girls who HATED to be tickled but they loved me and I loved them. I think its ridiculous to break off a good relationship just because some girl wont let you touch her feet or tie her up and tickle her. Honestly if tickling is the ONLY way you can aroused then I think you may be in trouble.

 

[terorizer]

For me, tickling is not just about being able to tickle someone. It's hardwired into how I display affection and adoration. I honestly don't think I'd be attracted (sustained anyway) to someone with a strong aversion to it. It's like Angelic said, it'd be like someone who didn't want to cuddle, or enjoy touching. And this would be found out very early in any courtship, so it'd be no different then any other person you go out with a couple times and decide to go your separate ways.

 

[scorpionldr]

"psstt!! psssst!! guys, larry left the convent!! we have to teach the err of his ways when he returns" LMAO!.
ok
so I've been with two girls. both short term. both semi-interested. ONE claimed being tickled turned her on...But i think it was more to do with her liking to have parts squeezed and felt up that got her. it was a pretty good deal.

the other was accepting, and "thought" she'd be pretty good with it.....And She came out to be HORRIFYINGLY ticklish all over. needless to say, she was a little hard to handle but after some making out she surprizingly took to it like a moth to a flame. for a while i sort of felt guilty about it. I talked to her....and it turned out she really enjoyed time with me, the tickling was tolerable, but she enjoyed it.

 

[Scouse]

Unless you meet your partner on here, I'd imagine it to be close to impossible to find a girlfriend/boyfriend who enjoys being tickled.

A bit of playful tickling during bondage means a lot to me, and I'm yet to date a girl who doesn't like being tied up. When she's tied up, she's tickled. Obviously lots of other things happen as well, but tickling is one of the main ones for me. Although I've never been told to stop, or even worse "I hate being tickled, don't do it" I doubt it would be a problem.

Although I never come straight out with it, "Yeah, I like tickling...and I like feet too" It must be quite obvious after a few weeks. Luckily I haven't really had any bad reactions.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

Well if she was unrelenting in her refusal of it, then I guess wouldn't stay with her. Sure they are a lot of other things you could do, but hardly any of them are that satisfying.

 

[Lea28]

Pavlov had a point...

Unless you meet your partner on here, I'd imagine it to be close to impossible to find a girlfriend/boyfriend who enjoys being tickled.

A bit of playful tickling during bondage means a lot to me, and I'm yet to date a girl who doesn't like being tied up. When she's tied up, she's tickled. Obviously lots of other things happen as well, but tickling is one of the main ones for me. Although I've never been told to stop, or even worse "I hate being tickled, don't do it" I doubt it would be a problem.

Although I never come straight out with it, "Yeah, I like tickling...and I like feet too" It must be quite obvious after a few weeks. Luckily I haven't really had any bad reactions.

It's kinda weird, maybe, but I assume that being intimate includes being tickled, and I innocently (or demandingly) expect guys to know this about me, intuitively.

I date guys for a while before giving it up, and that leaves lots of dates that END in only kissing, cuddling and teasing... I tickled my current bf before he tickled me... on our fourth or fifth date he was wearing flip flops and jeans (he looks very hot in jeans by the way) and we were kissing on my couch when I got up to get water; when I came back I knelt at the end of the couch with a bottle of Poland Springs in one hand while my other hand stroked the side of his foot... I was barefoot by the way. He had already said he loved my toe ring. so I knew he noticed my feet.

I sat by this feet and ran my own foot up his side toward his chest, kinda tickling his sides with my toes... I was not at all surprised when he started to suck my toes... I think I would have been shocked if he had not.

OK, as he sucked my toes I did continue to stroke his feet with my nails. You're right, that was our first full night together and I learned that he was both a toe sucker and an adorable tickler... after our "foot time" on the couch I had no problem at all telling him to tickle my feet as we made love... it was just natural. So maybe I just expect guys to know me?

Who knows... my last bf was not as intuitive BTW...

Whatever, Lea

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I would rather date someone who likes tickling just as much as I do. However, I think I would have a problem if they just outright didn't like tickling at all. I think I would still date the guy and hope over time that he would come to like it. If I dated someone that could at least tolerate it, that's good as well. I mean if he didn't want to be tied and tickle tortured, that's fine as long as he liked being tickled unrestrained. I would want to be tied and tickle tortured by him and hopefully he would oblige.

 

[fredf]

If a person wants tickling in their lives, and, after some time trying to "educate" them, their sexual partner still just doesn't want it, where is that person to get tickling in their lives? I don't think it's good to live with that frustration. Tickling is a big part of who I am, and if my partner rejects my tickling passion, she's rejected a big part of me. So what's left? My fantasy of a relationship?

 

[youngrl]

You know i think it depends on the person and how strong the fetish. I once knew someone who was into tickling and was married to woman (god forbid!) was not ticklish. At first he thought he could get over it and that it wasn't all important to incorporate the fetish into his love life. How ever, time went by and he realized that he couldn't do this and they went their separate ways (amicably, I believe).

A person really needs to be honest with him/herself about priorities in looking for a mate. What are you willing to give up, and not?

 

[ticklishasgrl]

I would think that if you can only be with a girl who is into you fetish, then you have issues. Find a person, not a vehicle for your sexuallity. Because your relationship doesn't stand a chance if you only want one thing from them. If they accept that you like tickling, then great. If they don't, you have to think about how much you like the person. You could end up throwing away your only chance with a wonderful person.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I agree with you but there is also a part of me now that can see where people are coming from with their tickle fetish that they dont want to spend the rest of their life with the man or woman who could be absoulutly wonderful but just doesnt have a tickle fetish but that they just want to spend the rest of their lifes with someone that understands their fetish and doesnt find it weird. I dont think you americans would have trouble finding a person in america with a tickle fetish lol, there are so many of you on this forum,🙂, but anyway Im easygoing, I could go out with a guy who isnt or is into tickling as long as he is a great guy, I would be happy with a man that is into tickling or a man that isnt.

 

[reflexology414]

...

It would never work for me. It's just an issue of compatibility.

 

[youngrl]

It would never work for me. It's just an issue of compatibility.

compatibility?? I think you mean sexuality. Because two people can have so much in common, but if things aren't alright in the bedroom then there can be problems. Lets be honest even if you did find someone that's comfortable with the fetish, you guys aren't going "play" everyday. Like, if a guy likes sex, even if married he's not gonna have sex everyday either.

So this about sexuality, and whether you choose to find someone "comfortable" with your sexual needs/wants.

 

[jj82277]

I would think that if you can only be with a girl who is into you fetish, then you have issues. Find a person, not a vehicle for your sexuallity. Because your relationship doesn't stand a chance if you only want one thing from them. If they accept that you like tickling, then great. If they don't, you have to think about how much you like the person. You could end up throwing away your only chance with a wonderful person.

ensuring sexual compatibility is not immature. the primary function of marriage is to provide a full sexual covering and the primary function of dating is to find someone compatable for the longterm in ALL PHASES including the bedroom. mature dating is about finding someone who is compatablein all major areas expecially sexuality.

and last i checked there were about 3 billio women on the planet.

fear and scrcity only lead to reaches and mistakes that result in people on boards like this in marriages they wish they hadn't gotten into because they don;t fulfill basic necessities for the person.

 

[jj82277]

Whoever my girlfriend is, I think it's important that we're able to talk about anything, like best friends. Either of us should automatically be willing to listen and really be interested in understanding what specific sexual interests are like to the other person, even if they aren't afflicted with the same conditions.

great point. in this regard the person may not have to be a true fetishist or enthusiast. a key point to mutually beneficial sexuality is having a primary concern or fetish for making your partner happy first. if your partner derives pleasure from making you happy and indulges you to the best of their ability then that is something that can definatley be managed and expanded during a mature sexual relationship.

at the same time as a ler, i understand that there may be some women that physicaly just can't take it, and that's okay. that's why they made friendships. but in the larger picture i think that if its not a physical aversion to the concept of being tickled then if there is a fundamental lack of enthusiasm to fulfill the sexuality of their partner then that is symptomatic of a sociopathic thought process and that is definatley a no no in relationships.

and for all the lees out there, not that you should intentionally stray from people in the community, god knows you should check with all the lers first, but in your relationships there is no reason that your partner shouldn't be able to fully embrace that part of your sexuality and do everything they can to facilitate it. caution: they won't be able to do it like the professionals here god knows that, but they should at least be able to help you out to the best of their feeble ability. you can't expect true sadism, but enthusiastic participation in your sexuality is a must in a longterm relationship.

some people see this interest as a burden that limits the dating pool. tlaking with some folks here i am convinced that it's not a burden. its the greatest gift of all because we have a big big banner that lets us know who is marriagiable in the longterm and who isn't marriagiable in the longterm. limiting the dating pool is not a bad thing, it makes decisions easier and we should all be willing to look.

tickling is a big part to the compatability puzzle, but not the only part. there is no interest, passion, or even aversion that is not important. it is all part of the beautiful quilt that makes us individuals. anyone who really doesn't fit into that picture isn't for us in the longterm no matter how warm and fuzzy they may make us feel in the short term. Feelings change, but an infrastructure of compatability based on matue decision making lasts a lifetime. after that its just flowers and feathers.

 

[Lord Doctor]

How hard would it be for someone who is extremely in to tickling to date someone who is just not in the fetish at all and thinks its completely strange? How hard would it be for you?

Initially, it might be a niggle. If I loved her, it wouldn't be hard at all.

 

[reflexology414]

...

Honestly, I couldn't do it. It just wouldn't work.