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Dave's 4th Annual New Years Post

Dave2112

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For four years now, I have posted my thoughts on the preceding year in a jumble of disconnected ramblings covering that which we all concern ourselves with:

Deaths of celebrities.

Major political actions.

Social changes.

I could go on and on.

This year, I thought I’d try something different. The impact of a solitary year from the perspective of one individual.

For when we come right down to it, the measure of a year is only that which we see through our own eyes. That which we experience. That which is important to us. We all have things that will make 2004 a memorable year for us. With the hypercharged political arena that our nation is faced with to the state of the world in general, it would be ludicrous for one individual to assume a statement to speak for all of mankind. We try, no doubt. We fail, no quarter.

We all have events that helped shape the afterimage burned into our mental retinas, the image that will be known as “2004” for the rest of our lives. For the political among us, 2004 was a banner year. The shape of the world is gelling into something far different than that which we’ve been familiar with, and many of these processes culminated this year. The Presidential Election was the most polarizing in history, and not simply because of the vast differences between the two men running. It was mostly because of us. We have become divided, many longing for a simpler time, many looking ahead to see the fruits of their labors realized. However, this may not necessarily be a bad thing.

2004 saw the subculture of the Internet Watchdog start having a major impact on world events. Opinion polls are instantaneous as most of the world is connected at the speed of digital lightning. We are all involved in our government (or at least aware of our government) like we never have been able before. For good or for ill, we come out in droves to show the world that we will stand by our beliefs.

We lost Ronald Reagan in the same year as Yassar Arafat. One considered by many to be a guiding force to his people, the other considered by many a terrorist. One a beloved statesman, the other a power-hoarding despot. Which one is which?

I guess that becomes a matter of perspective, doesn’t it? The interesting thing is, thousands turned out to mourn both men. Both parties believed fully in the vision of its former leader.

And the world saw it.


We are completely connected now, moreso in 2004 than at any other time. We now have a greater responsibility to truth, tolerance and acceptance than ever before. Are we up to it? Perhaps we’ll all know by the time I have to write one of these again.

Moving along, there were, believe it or not, those that saw 2004 from a standpoint other than the political. Sports alone saw 2004 as a banner year, again for good or for ill. We started the year with the New England Patriots winning a Super Bowl that was arguably one of the three best ever. We went on to see the Men’s Basketball Team, the so-called pride of the US, fail miserably in the Olympics against nations who only even know basketball through us. We saw the end of an 89-year “curse” as the Boston Red Sox finally claimed the title of World Series Champions. Then we saw pro basketball again in a foul light as a scuffle usually reserved for hockey or boxing broke out and spilled into the stands. Lance Armstrong won his record sixth consecutive Tour de France. And then Professional Hockey folded quicker than a dry-cleaner on Red Bull. We saw the birth of a legend in Peyton Manning, and the death of a legend in Reggie White.

There’s good and bad in every year, but 2004 seemed so much less grey in these areas. Everything was either make or break, do or die, left or right. We’ve had more than our share of ill news this year. The explosion of a Space Shuttle, the vile deeds of Scott Peterson, endless financial scandals and more celebrities getting away with pretty much everything. We’ve seen our first full calendar year of war, and more natural disasters than the world has been prepared to handle. One hurricane after another, the deadliest twisters in decades and a string of tsunamis that may yet have caused the highest single death toll in recorded history.

So why focus on these things when we think back on the previous year? Perhaps it gives us a chance to reminisce one more time before we move on to the next chapter. Maybe only by looking back and dealing with these things together can we successfully process them. These are the events that we’re all a part of, to one extent or another.

But I prefer to think back on the things that made 2004 a unique year for me. We all should. How have we grown, what have we learned, what will we vow to never do again? What changed us, shaped us or corrected us? Now I can’t speak for everyone, but I can look back on an ongoing event in my own life that may have emotional roots that we all should grow from.

In 2004, I spoke to my older sister again. In and of itself, this isn’t that big a thing. However, she and I hadn’t spoken in ten years. She is my only older sibling, and after all that time, I found myself missing that part of me. So, one day a couple of months ago, I e-mailed her out of the blue to either get things off our chests, reconnect or at least find full closure. As it turned out, many of the things that came together to drive us apart were things that were out of our control, actions of family members who don’t know how to keep their noses to themselves and things we weren’t even aware of. After talking for a few weeks, we discovered that in the grand scheme of things they were all relatively minor. We have found that we have a lot in common. We have found that ten years is a lot of time to lose with those that we love and that tiny little differences can often fester into unreasonable division. We have since reconnected and are learning about each other all over again. I am remembering what it was like to have an older sibling to turn to, and she got her only brother back. There’s still a long way to go, but at least neither of us has to go alone.

So what does that have to do with any of this? Well, as previously stated, 2004 was the Year of Division. When we look back on it in ten years, will we find that these insurmountable differences weren’t ever really that big? Will we wonder why we ever felt the way we did? On a global scale and a personal one, will we endeavor to mend the fences or continue to build walls? Personal rifts have affected us even down to the level of our own Forum, so can we apply these principles to our own little microcosm?

Maybe that’s where it should start. Right here. With us. Let’s say that the small percentage of the world that finds solace here does a few things. Let the small stuff go. Don’t get so wrapped up in our own unyielding principles that we are blind to the damage we cause others, be it with a purpose or inadvertent. Learn to successfully function as a cohesive unit and somehow even manage to have a good time after all that.

If something like that could work, imagine that working on a somewhat larger scale. Your own town, for instance. Who knows, maybe it’ll catch on and we’ll see it on a regional level, a national level or even a global one.

And maybe, much like it worked on the simplest of levels, the relationship between two individuals like my sister and I, we’ll look back in 2014 and wonder what we ever differed about in the first place.

To all of the people of this Forum, the people that I have grown to love and respect and have made 2004 a standout year for me, I wish you the Happiest of New Years and a Joyous 2005!

- Dave2112
 
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Very touching post, Dave, thank you for the thoughts. Iam happy to hear that your sister and you have reconnected. I wish you both the best in resuming your relationship, and making it last. Happy New Year to you.
My father and I had essentially been estranged for the greater part of 10 years, until an incident out of my control, brought us together in April of 2000, when my mom called him. Unfortunately, the same old issues, of how he wanted to have total control of my life, began to resurface over time, and led to another estrangement in March, 2004 that continues now. He seemed unable to put aside the old issues of the past, and continued down the same path of destruction with me that had led to our estrangement in the first place. When any family reconnects, they need to deal with the past issues, and then put them aside, for the purpose of renewing the relationship. My father was unable to do this. As I enter 2005, I hold little hope of any reconciliation, as I have attempted to reach out to him this year via email and letter, only to be met with a deaf ear, and him ignoring me. I go on with my life, and while I will always feel a degree of pain about the circumstance that exists, I also realize that I have spent many years trying to get him to work with me on a healthy relationship, to no avail.
I do hope that you and your sister can remain in touch. Family and life is precious, and it is tragic when any close family members are estranged. Good Luck to both of you.

Mitch
 
Dave, I always enjoy reading your stuff because I find you to be very well spoken through your posts. It took alot of courage to reach out to your sister the way you did. I am glad to hear that something good came out of it. I hope you continue to build your relationship in the coming years. In my eyes, the hardest part was done, and now that you know where you stand with each other, you can take it from there.

Mitch, I am well aware of the pain you suffered through the estrangement of your father. I am sorry for you that you had to go through what you went through. It seems to me that you reached some kind of closure, although it wasn't the happiest of endings.

Let me just take the time to wish everyone here at the TMF a very happy and safe 2005. I hope this year brings prosperity and happiness to all. I hope there are resolutions accomplished which have a positive impact on everyones life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!!!!! 🙂 😀 😎
 
It seems these poets have nothing
up their ample sleeves
they turn over so many cards so early,
telling us before the first line
whether it is wet or dry,
night or day, the season the man is standing in,
even how much he has had to drink.

Maybe it is autumn and he is looking at a sparrow.
Maybe it is snowing on a town with a beautiful name.

"Viewing Peonies at the Temple of Good Fortune
on a Cloudy Afternoon" is one of Sun Tung Po's.
"Dipping Water from the River and Simmering Tea"
is another one, or just
"On a Boat, Awake at Night."

And Lu Yu takes the simple rice cake with
"In a Boat on a Summer Evening
I Heard the Cry of a Waterbird.
It Was Very Sad and Seemed To Be Saying
My Woman Is Cruel--Moved, I Wrote This Poem."

There is no iron turnstile to push against here
as with headings like "Vortex on a String,"
"The Horn of Neurosis," or whatever.
No confusingly inscribed welcome mat to puzzle over.

Instead, "I Walk Out on a Summer Morning
to the Sound of Birds and a Waterfall"
is a beaded curtain brushing over my shoulders.

And "Ten Days of Spring Rain Have Kept Me Indoors"
is a servant who shows me into the room
where a poet with a thin beard
is sitting on a mat with a jug of wine
whispering something about clouds and cold wind,
about sickness and the loss of friends.

How easy he has made it for me to enter here,
to sit down in a corner,
cross my legs like his, and listen.

Poem by Billy Collins


*sigh*

That's me...sitting cross legged and attentive on the floor at Dave's feet. No matter how long I may know you, Dave, your words will never receive a deaf ear from me. So long as you are willing to write and talk and ponder, I'll be a captive audience. Thank you again, Dave. My warmed heart and mind appreciate your ever lasting wisdom.

Mimi
 
You really made me sit back and think about the past twelve months, and even to years before that. I thank you for that.

I don't believe I have read your previous year-end addresses, but you can be sure I'll be watching out for next year's.

Thanks for the message, Master Dave, and a Happy New Year and 2005 to you as well.
 
And then Professional Hockey folded quicker than a dry-cleaner on Red Bull.

Ok, that got beer on my monitor!
Hell of a way to start 2005...wiping up a mess 😉

Great post Dave!

May 2005 be a damn site better than 2004..
 
tommytikl said:
May 2005 be a damn site better than 2004..

Here represents the quote for the year!

If 2005 gets any worse for me, I may just may either jump from the window or stick my head in the oven! This has basically been one of the crappier years I ever had to experience. I managed to fight back to get my degree when I nearly dropped out last January due to illness. I'm still unemployed with little on the horizon. I interviewed with six people in two days, then everything went to crap!! Now I get to sit and wait while they twiddle their thumbs (thoroughly stuck in their rear ends) wondering if I'm good enough to "color" their world! It'll amaze you what I've put up with in the name of finding work.

When my daughter chose to go to play her basketball game instead of watching her mother graduate, I was devastated. Her father condoning and supporting her decision didn't help. I was told that her career is important, a graduation is not. How the hell about that!! Hey, I have college graduations every week, right? She doesn't get to make this one up-it's over and done with and I can never have that time back. It's been very rough dealing with her since-I just don't see her in the same light as I used to. I never thought that she would be so self-centered and narcisstic, but I was obviously wrong.

I understand the family reunion thing. I'm working with some members of my family that became estranged when my mom died in '95. My mother handled things poorly and left me to take care of her business. She lied to my sisters about everything and when things came out before she died, she still denied everything. I was left holding the proverbial bag, so to speak. I got blamed for a lot of stuff I didn't even know existed. I was just trying to be a good daughter and follow my mother's wishes. I ended up getting screwed in a major way. We're still working on things, but........

So I hope you become closer with your sister as the years pass. It's a shame it had to happen in the first place, but grow from the experience and keep going. I wish you well in 2005.
 
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