DESPERATE HELP! NOW! PLEASE!

[rhiannon]

That you don't want to fuck her doesn't mean a thing here. You are knowingly performing an action on her that you know will make you horny, and you are performing the action for that reason!

Would you also grab her tits? It's the same damn thing. The only difference is that the people involved don't realize that it turns you on which makes it even more wrong!

 

[tupac92]

i think ill stick with the other ppls advice....cause urs is just judgemental criticism....!!

 

[rhiannon]

You just don't like my opinion! And I am pretty sure you don't because you are aware that your gf would agree with me!

Look at it the other way around! Imagine your gf was into tickling the way you are and enticed your dad into tickling her! How would you like that?

 

[sirseaspraysr]

And so, the question remains. How will you proceed in the future?

As I've said before, the situation is in your hands to screw up.

---So Says Sir Sea Spray Senior

 

[tupac92]

if u read the stories i wrote u wulda realised that i didnt jump on my gfs mother and tickle her
she basically started muckin around with me...i returnd the favour...and it turned me on...ur assuming i used my tickle fetish INTENTIONALLY on my gfs mother to GET OFF lmao

 

[rhiannon]

she basically started muckin around with me...i returnd the favour...and it turned me on...ur assuming i used my tickle fetish INTENTIONALLY on my gfs mother to GET OFF

Well, you continue to do it, right? After it turned you on the first time, maybe you shouldn't have done it a second, third, tenth time!

 

[sirseaspraysr]

If my gf enticed my senile old Dad into tickling her, I would laugh my head off!

I would tell them to hold that pose until I got out my videocamera!

The problem is that human behavior can rarely be characterized as pathological if it's not causing trouble in one's life and it is not at all clear whether it'll cause trouble for him in the future. Suppose, down the road, when she finds out about his predilections she doesn't care. Suppose her attitude is the same as mine--She's giving the old fart one last thrill before he goes into that great, big Senile Home in the sky!

Her entrance into the Pearly Gates would be assured and she wouldn't have had to go thru life-changing contortions unnecessarily.

 

[rhiannon]

My question wasn't directed towards you, but that's okay

 

[tupac92]

If my gf enticed my senile old Dad into tickling her, I would laugh my head off!

I would tell them to hold that pose until I got out my videocamera!

The problem is that human behavior can rarely be characterized as pathological if it's not causing trouble in one's life and it is not at all clear whether it'll cause trouble for him in the future. Suppose, down the road, when she finds out about his predilections she doesn't care. Suppose her attitude is the same as mine--She's giving the old fart one last thrill before he goes into that great, big Senile Home in the sky!

Her entrance into the Pearly Gates would be assured and she wouldn't have had to go thru life-changing contortions unnecessarily.

ohhhhhh he fkn gets it hahaha

 

[rhiannon]

That means you would be okay with your girlfriend fooling around with...ok, not your dad, how about your brother?

 

[sirseaspraysr]

Myriads analysis is essentially limited.

While it's true that ticklers can be generally split into 2 camps, playful and sexual, it doesn't take into consideration that human sexuality occurs on a continuum. The boundaries of appropriate behavior have to ultimately be negotiated on an individual level. One size does not fit all.

My SO and I have no problem with tickling, even if it's a turn on, but would draw the line at sexual contact. For Rhiannon, tickling is sex. To each his own. There is no objective right or wrong written in the sky. These are questions that are ultimately hammered out in a healthy relationship.

Sex sells. Bank tellers, TV news anchorpeople, celebrity personalities are often hired on the basis of their sex appeal. Do we avert our eyes when we get horny? Do we rush to confess to our SO? Do we jump to change the channel? Do we avoid the beach lest we see a bikini?

Most Arabs do--especially back in the old country. My female Arabic tenants will not shake my hand or look me in the face lest they feel a pang of sexuality--or someone suspects they did. Men cannot wear short sleeved shirts in 120 degree heat. Women must wear burqas.

Many people spend their lives playing Thought Police. They become oppressive, whiny and annoying--forever insecure about what their SO is thinking.

In psychotherapy, we cut through all that Bullshit by focusing on whether a behavior is working for you or holding you back. This usually translates to sticking to what has been agreed upon. Not on what a behavior inherantly "is". It "is" nothing. One cannot make such assumptions especially in the field of tickling where the line between the 2 camps is so elusuve and idiosyncratic.

Understand that you and your SO will always have inappropriate sexual feelings toward everything and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Nore should you. It's who you are. Repression and denial of one's sexual urges is the cornerstone of Freud's etiology of Neurosis.

Stick to what you agreed upon, go easy on the assumptions and the "Everybody knows that..." --and you'll be OK.


---So Says Sir Sea Spray Sr

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Let me offer a different perspective.

I agree with Myriads that substituting “fuck” for “tickle” is a good way to illustrate the concern. I don’t think it’s a perfect analogy, though, in part because intercourse generally is “you did it or you didn’t.” For tickling, on the other hand, grabbing a foot and giving it a 3 second tickle is not analogous to intercourse, though tying someone up naked and tickling them . . .

OP, you have a great situation with your gf. There is a very serious risk that her learning of your fetish will make her very upset that you’ve been tickling her mom. As I see it, you have 2 basic options.

1. Continue to hide the fetish from her. Good for the short-term, but if you’re looking for something long-term, I think she will eventually find out, and the farther out that is, the greater the negative reaction.

2. A disclosure plan, that would go something like this:
a. Keep your hands off her mom;
b. After you’ve kept your hands off her mom for a good while, tell your gf about your fetish.
c. When she expresses outrage about you tickling her mom, tell her that it wasn’t sexual for you, but at some point, you realized that it could be seen that way, so you stopped.

Good luck!

 

[rhiannon]

2. A disclosure plan, that would go something like this:
a. Keep your hands off her mom;
b. After you’ve kept your hands off her mom for a good while, tell your gf about your fetish.
c. When she expresses outrage about you tickling her mom, tell her that it wasn’t sexual for you, but at some point, you realized that it could be seen that way, so you stopped.

I think this is a GREAT idea, and probably the only one that will work!

 

[ChicagoDavid]

I’m blushing

 

[Adam]

Let me offer a different perspective.

I agree with Myriads that substituting “fuck” for “tickle” is a good way to illustrate the concern. I don’t think it’s a perfect analogy, though, in part because intercourse generally is “you did it or you didn’t.” For tickling, on the other hand, grabbing a foot and giving it a 3 second tickle is not analogous to intercourse, though tying someone up naked and tickling them . . .

OP, you have a great situation with your gf. There is a very serious risk that her learning of your fetish will make her very upset that you’ve been tickling her mom. As I see it, you have 2 basic options.

1. Continue to hide the fetish from her. Good for the short-term, but if you’re looking for something long-term, I think she will eventually find out, and the farther out that is, the greater the negative reaction.

2. A disclosure plan, that would go something like this:
a. Keep your hands off her mom;
b. After you’ve kept your hands off her mom for a good while, tell your gf about your fetish.
c. When she expresses outrage about you tickling her mom, tell her that it wasn’t sexual for you, but at some point, you realized that it could be seen that way, so you stopped.

Good luck!

Might just be brilliant enough to work. This is, of course, contingent on not tickling the mother anymore. Good luck.