Did anyone else here think they were kinda crazy...?

[Sensualswitch10]

I was always more concerned with what I assumed other people would think if they knew. I figured they would think I was crazy, but being the one inhabiting my own mind, I knew I wasn't crazy. But maybe every crazy person thinks they're the sane one.

 

[Tenebrae]

I became conscious of my fantasies when I was very little, around 4-5 years old. I thought that it made me "different" somehow but I wasn't isolated: my best friend at the time was a good confidante, and was often giving me a hand whenever I was playfully tickle-assaulting my female classmates in catholic school. Growing up, I spent most of my childhood and teenage keeping a low profile about it. As a matter of fact, I really believe in the "don't ask don't tell" policy: I can do whatever I want in private, but I do not have to shove it into everybody's face.

Thus, I thought that my tickling fantasies made me "different" but not crazy, no. My sadism on the other hand was a little bit worrisome for me since childhood. The inexplicable turn on I was feeling to see a woman tied up, screaming under torture (not necessarily tickling) and begging for mercy was somehow unsettling. And was in deep conflict with the christian morals my school and parents were preaching. As far as I can remember, my childhood heroes were often the bad guys in movies and TV shows. There was a point when I was wondering if I was gonna turn into a criminal or something in my adult life.

Another worry of mine was that vanilla porn was an absolute 0 turn-on for me, save for the odd lesbian sex sprinkled here and there. I was borrowing my friends' magazines to avoid suspicion, but my real "porn" at the time were those crime and spy novels with those interrogation scenes and whatnot. The porn that was airing on TV was a serious turn-off as well.

Both were resolved around 15 when my parents got the Internet. Oh boy! No need to be bothered with some other people's fantasy: any scenario I could think of and more was only one search away. Tons and tons of cartoons, photographs, videos, and an active community of like-minded individuals to boot, all there! And oddly enough, what I found the most satisfying was that a lot of stuff was for sale. I was thinking that since there was a market for my fantasies, it would mean that not only I wasn't the only one, but that there were a lot more like me than I had first thought (cause you have to sell more than a few to turn a profit). All of a sudden, it was no longer just some silly fantasy, it was a business, so it made me feel very cool about it. Okay, I may be crazy after all...

 

[Aeveirra]

I think Knismolagnia is one of the most psychologically powerful paraphillia there is.
Isn't It interesting how Before you even knew it was a fetish - you were already this aroused by it ?

I can relate 🙂 even though I'm a lee. Instead of imagining if others were ticklish, I would picture myself being tickled. Like a lot, every day.
Lol. It wasn't until i looked up tickling online and realized this was a thing. 🙂

Check out my forum posts on the developmental neuropsychology theory of tickling fetishism.
There, I discuss how this develops in the Brain, and explain why it's so influenceial (psychologically)

It's based on research I've gathered online, as well as my background knowledge in medicine (Neuroscience)
I think you'll find it interesting, and it may help you to better understand yourself - with the power of science 🙂

Have an awesome day <3 !

 

[pshort20]

wow! Again great insight people. 🙂

 

[bestmed]

I know what you mean. For a very long time I thought something must be wrong with me, this isn't normal.
Then I just searched the work "Tickle" and first found SW Tickle. Then the TMF.

 

[piyr]

To this day I struggle with it. It's impacted me in so many negative ways. I haven't gone to therapy for it but I feel like I have to have it as an option. I have to be open to it if I want to actually enjoy it someday. However, if I do choose to go that route, I want to make sure that he/she specializes in fetish or sex therapy, if it even exists. Mainly it's shame and for whatever reason, it seems natural that I feel that way. It's difficult to be comfortable with it. It just is.

It exists. Find someone certified by the Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (ASECT). Like any discipline, you'll find that some of these counselors will have more experience in certain areas like addiction, performance, 'alternative practices' (term from their website)...