did tickling ruin anyone else's life?

[json1189]

or is it just me..this fetish hasnt allowed me to have a normal sex life and now im pushing 25 and dont know how to please a girl because all i want to do is tickle her..i dont even care about sex and its ruined all my relationships and seemingly tough to shake? anyone else have this problem, or maybe im just a little too infatuated with tickling? PLEASE HELP ME

 

[Wesker28]

Unfortunately some fetishes are stronger than others. My advice would be to just deal with it, we all have our natural instincts and it will eventually lead us to our true partners. However if you really are that upset about it then seek some therapy and overcome your fetish.

 

[TKL_Rebel]

I've had a similar issue where when i was younger (im 20 atm) sex just wouldn't excite in the slightest but as ive got older and have found girlfriends which share the same love for tickling as me, and then when your able to tickle them to your hearts content, you realise that theres more to yourself then what you thought...

I think you just gotta get the tickling out of your system!

 

[Wesker28]

Interesting point, I feel like the older I get the less I need to tickle a girl.

 

[rhiannon]

..i dont even care about sex and its ruined all my relationships and seemingly tough to shake?

You might want to look into getting therapy.

 

[P[a]pi]

There are multiple routes to take. Therapy to get rid of the fetish and be normal. Just be yourself, but mix tickling and sexual acts together at least sometimes. Or just say f sex and deal with the consequences whatever they may be. It's up to you. You could try them all out and see what best fits you.

 

[rhiannon]

Therapy to get rid of the fetish and be normal.

That ain't going to happen. You can't therapy away sexual preferrences. You can just learn techniques for having a regular sex life even without necessarily live out the fetish, and you can learn to be turned on by regular stuff. The fetish will most likely never go away.

 

[voided9]

Sometimes it can be difficult in bed when tickling is the only thing that really gets you off - I'd suggest finding a balance. Mixing what you like and what they like, if you can, so you can both enjoy it. It shouldn't be ruining your relationships.

 

[kcantankerous]

Sometimes it can be difficult in bed when tickling is the only thing that really gets you off - I'd suggest finding a balance. Mixing what you like and what they like, if you can, so you can both enjoy it. It shouldn't be ruining your relationships.

For me I like derive enjoyment about pleasing the women. However, I can only climax if I indulge in my fetish in some way whether through foot worship or tickling. This actually can be a blessing in some cases. However, I don't need to to get aroused so yeah, it can be a happy and sad state of affairs.

Thanks,
K

 

[voided9]

For me I like derive enjoyment about pleasing the women. However, I can only climax if I indulge in my fetish in some way whether through foot worship or tickling. This actually can be a blessing in some cases. However, I don't need to to get aroused so yeah, it can be a happy and sad state of affairs.

I understand. My fiance isn't a tickle fetishist like I am, and I absolutely NEED tickling to get off - so I please him in all the ways he likes, and when he's going to please me, he mixes tickling in it because it's fun for him and sexually pleasing to me. It works out. But being with someone who hates tickling or totally doesn't understand it, could be a problem I'm sure.

 

[kcantankerous]

I understand. My fiance isn't a tickle fetishist like I am, and I absolutely NEED tickling to get off - so I please him in all the ways he likes, and when he's going to please me, he mixes tickling in it because it's fun for him and sexually pleasing to me. It works out. But being with someone who hates tickling or totally doesn't understand it, could be a problem I'm sure.

In fact that was what happened with my previous gf. The way I coped with it is after we had sex I'd either worship her feet, because she never really liked being tickled. If the tickle fetish was way to strong I'd start watching clips to finish myself off after she went to sleep. I'm sure being a female you have it a lot more difficult than I did when it came to that. She resented that I had to do it that way sometimes. I wasn't necessarily happy with that either, and I'm sure it factored in because I know she was upset and felt she didn't please me enough.

I dunno that is a tough situation. The girl I'm into right now, I have no idea if she is ticklish or not (she does have nice feet though). Anyways, if she isn't ticklish I may run into the same issue all over again.

Thanks,
K

 

[robmic]

"......and now I'm pushing 25....."
Boy, I can almost remember when I was 25.... Anyway, as for your problem the one thing that comes to mind, if you can afford it, is to find an older experienced woman to tie you down and sensually tease you, get you worked up, then bring you off one way or another. Focusing on the stimulation may take your mind off tickling if she is good at what she does. Your mind may try to think about tickling, but the direct stimulation of your organ just might overpower the tickling thought process enough to shift your priorities when it comes to sex. An idea, anyway.

 

[Phineas]

You might want to look into getting therapy.

This. Few, if any, of us are qualified to offer you the kind of insight you need to deal with these kinds of problems.

As has been said, you can't "therapy away" a fetish but you can get professional help to integrate it more smoothly into your life, and learn tools that will turn it more into something you're comfortable with.

Good luck!

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

It pretty much ruins my life. Being interested in something I really can't explore, or doing anything about....

 

[maniactickler]

I hear you. it seriously limits your choices in a girl. very limited!

 

[ElFewja]

I would say that your problem doesn't stem from tickling itself, necessarily, but rather more how you're treating the subject (tickling). I am, of course, only going off a very short paragraph describing what you consider to be your problems but I don't think I'm wrong.

First, you should accept that "normal" doesn't exist in any regard. I don't know what you consider normal -- I'm guessing just the act of sex -- but I'm very certain that most people do a little bit more.

You say you don't know how to please a girl simply because all you want to do is tickle her. When I read that -- and you'll have to forgive me because I have to assume a lot with that statement -- a lot of thoughts pop up in my head, mostly concerning communication/respect. I get that tickling is what you want/need, but are you respecting your significant others' wants/needs as well? Are you communicating about your wants/needs with her, as well as discussing her own? My impression is that you are not simply because you say you're not sure how to please them. To that I would say there isn't any shame in asking what you can do for your partner.

You'll also need to respect that tickling isn't necessarily for everybody. My personal suggestion, as far as relationships go, is easing your partner into tickling (not going full bondage/tickle the fuck out of her right at the start/every time, for example). I mean, tickling has so many... sides to it, so to speak. Light/playful, teasing, flirty tickles, tying someone up and tickling them way out of their mind, sensual tickles... probably a bunch more that I can't define right now, but whatever defining them isn't the point necessarily. Anyway if she isn't into tickling at all then don't worry about it. Ideally though she would have the same respect for you that I'm preaching and try to work with you and share/enjoy your needs/wants.

Sorry if I'm way wrong on how you're approaching the situation with your partners, by the way. And also sorry that I can't offer much more than I have. Really going off very little.

Therapy is an option if you want to discuss your problems in further detail and find solutions to the roots of the problems, but I'm not convinced that it's necessary at this point. Again, I'm also not convinced that tickling is the root of your issues but rather the face of them.

If all you really want out of a girl is to tickle her, though, then I'd recommend just dishing out for private sessions. If it's more as a supplement to a relationship... then yes you will need to work with your partner.

Man, I went and way assumed that you were a ler and not a lee, too. Geez. My bad.

 

[King of tickles]

I have this same problem. I'd much rather tie a girl down and tickle the hell out of her then have sex with her. However, I have never tied a girl down and tickled her and I don't know if I will. I dated a girl who hated being tickled and I didn't like that she was so against it. I try to balance it in. Like if I'm giving a massage, I let my hands slip and lightly pinch her sides or her pits. Also I like giving rasberries when I'm kissing her all over. I think you gotta find a way to mix it in.

 

[mabus]

Hopefully we can un-ruin that life of yours:

You mayhave to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you're being selfish/narcissistic.

You probably don't think so, which is understandable, many people with fetishes sometimes get that way, but stop and ask yourself: What am I doing for HER?

You have this fetish, (which will never go away, so get over that thought.) and you think "Okay, I can only get aroused by tickling....."

Okay, so....is your girl a robot? This view is what they mean when they say men view women as sex objects.
Sex is great, if both people are enjoying it. If it all becomes about what only one partner wants, that's a one way relationship destined for failure and hurt feelings.

What turns HER on? What does SHE like to do? Does she like her neck kissed, boobs kissed, back rubbed feet massaged, etc.?
Does she want YOU to dress any kind of way? Wear a certain cologne?

You can keep your tickling fetish (you have no choice) and can be extremely happy, but it'll take a lot of work, and "sacrifice." That's in paranthesis, because.....is playing with your wife's tits while she has a 12 inch smile on her face a "sacrifice?" If she starts playing with your dick, or giving you a footjob because that's what she likes to do to you....man, what a tough sacrifice!

The more you please her.....the more she'll be willing to be tickled by you.

Then there's all the other relationship things you need to work on and hopefully get right - being faithful, treating her right, being financially stable, helping with housework, respecting her friends and family, not being a loser who uses drugs or gambles, taking care of her when she's sick, listening to her, comforting her after she's had a bad day, encouraging her to pursue her dreams and better herself, etc.

It's all interconnected. The more that outside the bedroom stuff works out, the better the bedroom life will be!

 

[fitzh2o]

I know exactly what your talking about. I can offer you a few bits of advice for your next relationship:
1) The more "tickle porn" you watch the more it will desensitize you to your partner. I'm not saying you have to completely cut it out, you just don't watch it and get off to it everyday. Hell; if you find a girl open minded enough she may even want to watch it with you. (That would make my day)
2) Think about fulfilling her needs first, then see what she is willing to do for you, the outcome will be very rewarding.
3) Second most critical: Let her know you have this crazy fetish of ours before you go anywhere near the bedroom. If she is totally put off by this; she wasn't the woman for you to begin with. Do not do this on the first date, but when you feel the relationship might be going in a sexual direction.
4) Most tantamount: DO NOT GIVE UP! I just ended a 7 year relationship, my fetish was a very small part as to why we broke up. Sometimes people grow apart for reasons that are nobody's fault. And I'm pushing 32 buddy! It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

Good luck to you.

 

[json1189]

thanks for everyones advice

 

[Blackadder]

Im in a similar boat. I've previously tickled girls as foreplay which has got me in the mood, and then had sex. but unless i've had my tickling fix or am particular aroused, i find having sex as more of a chore.

on the plus side no wisecracks about being too quick 😀

 

[voided9]

I absolutely cannot get off without some sort of tickling. Whether I picture it in my head, do it to my partner, or have it done to me - I need it. But hey, it makes it easy for my partner =P

 

[NonConTickler]

I've decided that the only way I'm going to get physically attractive women (without directly paying them to do specific acts) is if I'm rich and pay them indirectly. You know, they get huge shopping sprees and stuff, and in return they exist only to please me. I tickle them, they give me footjobs to get me off (not interested in intercourse or oral), I roll over and go to sleep. So as long as they're with me they get the money in return for giving up any and all sexual pleasure in their lives. Luckily I'm very funny and creative and there's things like youtube now to get discovered, so there's still a chance I can have all this. I don't know how this relates to the OP's problem but...so yeah.

 

[Libertine]

It hasn't ruined your life, it simply means you'll be sleeping with a different selection of women.

 

[kcantankerous]

I've decided that the only way I'm going to get physically attractive women (without directly paying them to do specific acts) is if I'm rich and pay them indirectly. You know, they get huge shopping sprees and stuff, and in return they exist only to please me. I tickle them, they give me footjobs to get me off (not interested in intercourse or oral), I roll over and go to sleep. So as long as they're with me they get the money in return for giving up any and all sexual pleasure in their lives. Luckily I'm very funny and creative and there's things like youtube now to get discovered, so there's still a chance I can have all this. I don't know how this relates to the OP's problem but...so yeah.

Yikes, man I wish you the best in your endeavors. I have no idea whether your serious the whole way through or kidding in parts. Either way I wish you the best.

Thanks,
K