Divorced Parents? Yes? No?

[Persephone]

Well since divorce seems pretty common nowadays, especially how prominent it is in the United States. Sadly the statistics truly do show that 50% of marriages will end up in divorce. And yet people still (well for the most) desire to fall in love and get married! I was just watching Dr. Phil earlier today (and yes I don't think he is as great as most say he is) BUT something he said did make a lot of sense.

He said that 99.99% of divorces end bitterly, with angry and hurt feelings and the former partners on bad terms.

Now my parents have been divorced since I was 10 years old, so for almost 11 years now. Even to this day my mother hates being around my father and is on polite terms with him when forced to encounter him like at my sister's recent graduation for example.

So I was just wondering, since divorce IS so common, how many people here on the TMF have parents who are divorced? And if so is Dr. Phil's statistic correct? Are almost 99& of all divorces ending on nasty terms with a sense of bitterness lasting for years to come? Just wondering?

((By the way I do believe in true love, didn't mean to sound bitter in this post XD haha ))

 

[AngelOfDarkness]

Yup, parental units are divorced. Have been since I was a baby.

 

[Tinkerhead414]

My parents are divorced, and my mom divorced twice. My mom doesn't like my father at all, and I don't blame her (anymore). He's an ass.

 

[vladtickleman22]

My parents are divorced have been since i was 8. Nasty and Bitter?....YOU BETCHA! After 19 years one would think things would subside a LITTLE.

Not to get deeply into things. But in all honesty, my parents getting divorced was WAY BETTER then them staying together.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Yup. Parents divorced. Bio-dad's dead.

 

[BellaRisa]

Hmmm...I *felt* like a divorced kid...

My mother and her significant other, Helen, split when I went to college after raising me together for the previous 11 years, does that count?

 

[Korastus]

My parents just divorced recently, actually.
To be honest, I'm not even sure if it's finalized yet.
But yeah, there is some bitterness on my mother's end, which is completely understandable, since my dad was cheating on her with a girl MY age. Fucking gross.
I'm pretty bitter about it too. My dad won't even let his girlfriend meet me, either because he's afraid of what I'd say to her, or because I told him I'd cut her face.

Maybe both.
Yeah, probably.

 

[chicago]

My parents divorced when I was five, mostly due to the fact that my father was a raging alcoholic and couldn't keep a job. There was bitterness for a long time where my mother used us as a tool, keeping my dad from seeing us unless he paid her money.

Then my dad kind of fell off the face of the Earth, lived on the streets for 10 years, and just recently (3 years ago) got back on his feet and started a relationship with us. I think he is still in love with my mom and I think my mom still has a lot of bitterness, but my father knows how to deal with her in a way that doesn't make her too upset. They don't have a good relationship by any means, but it's a lot better now than it once was.

 

[tklee88]

Both of my parents are still together. I doubt they would get divorced now. Even though they are together, I wouldn't call it a peaceful marriage. There has been "some" adultery and emotional abuse, and they don't sleep in the same room anymore. Should they have gotten divorced, yes. I think both of them would be happier, but I digress.

 

[Gothika]

my parents divorced when i was a kid but stayed to gether and still are together and i think they will be together for the rest of there lives

 

[maniactickler]

My parents are still together. 58 years and still going.

 

[desdemona]

My parents divorced when I was in vet school. It was a long, drawn out process - 3 years at least. They don't talk and thankfully my father has moved on to wife #4 (my mom was #2).

 

[Mitchell]

My parents seperated in 1989, divorced in 1991. Every lawyer my mom went to, said that my father was the worst man they ever saw. I had a friend in college whose father was a prominent divorce lawyer, and he told me that his father said most divorces are settled out of court. Not my parents. There was a trial, because my father was so uncivilized, that he would not come to an out of court settlement. The judge decided the amount of alimony, and the terms. My father is very uncivilized to my mother ongoing, and I have not seen him in nearly six years. Very sad, considering they lived until the same roof for 21 years, and were legally married for 23 years.

I'm sure there are different degrees of divorce, some where the parties are civil to each other, and others where they arent. Then there are different degrees of "uncivilized" as well.

Mitch

 

[KrazieDog]

And yet people still (well for the most) desire to fall in love and get married!

I'm pretty sure that's how it works. It would be pretty fucked up if they were all desiring and dreaming ahead to the day they get the chance to divorce. Besides everyone likes to dwell on the big scary number of 50% of those that get divorced and not the other side of the equation. If someone lets a number or percentage of what other people do affect their future, they've already lost.

To answer the original question, nope, my parents have been very happily married for 46 years last month and still going strong. They are the coolest people you could ever meet.

 

[RobAce]

My parents...still married even after a few HUGE bumps in the road.

Myself..I am divorced, so my kids deal with that...and they handle it very well. And that is in part to myself and that woman working together to ensure the kids are well taken care of and know they are loved by both of us.

Rob

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Together.

 

[Soda Bobinski]

My parents divorced when I was around ten years old.

The first few years after the divorce were somewhat hairy , but their relationship is "fine" now ... meaning , they get along alright & are plenty civil towards each other when certain family functions come up , but all things being equal , they'd probably prefer to never have to deal w/one another again.

 

[McNoodle]

My parents married young and were married for 21 years until my father passed away. My mother has never remarried although I am hoping someday she might if she can find the right man.

 

[The Fallen Angel]

yep parents got divorced when i was 6 and have since both remarried

 

[kered]

My parents were married for 51 years until my Dad passed away two years ago.

 

[Garamonde]

My mom and dad are still married... Thank God. I don't think I could survive ever seeing them apart.

 

[Mephistopheles]

After years of stress my parents divorced a week after my 20th birthday and well, it turned into trench warfare which lasted for over 2 years. I live about 150 miles away from them and I had to do the emotional support which was very hard to fit in with my own life. Lots of hate and anger. Lots of it. My family is torn in 2, I haven't seen my brother since then (we didn't get along anyway). Cause of it was my mother who couldn't cope with my father's behaviour (it's really hard to live with that man) and she made her escape while my father was out of the country for business. My father who is unable to see what he did wrong (he's one of the smartest people I know but smart people can be blind too) still feels like he's been wronged by my mother and is still filled with hate and bitterness. And because of that I have to fabricate elaborate stories to tell either one so I don't have to talk about my activities concerning the other. (so if I visit my mother, I'm somewhere else and vise versa)

Ah well, in the end I think they both ended up better and I can manage this whole thing just fine.

 

[Saeria]

My parents have been together forever... they're the perfect gestalt to one another.. a matched set. I really don't think they would be able to live without eachother. I'm separated and it's going to stay that way forever (or until one of us decides it's more financially/legally feasible to do so). My ex and i had some rough times, prolly more that most separated and divorced couples have and there are things that no amount of legal action can iron out. As angry as we've been with eachother's shortcomings, with time i think we both see this simply as something necessary. In the end, i don't think either one of us wants to fight dirty or have more than the other. I'm not jockeying for any child support and he's not jockeying for custody.

It's hard to swallow resentment for your children. In the beginning, while the hurt was still fresh, i've said a few things about her father that i later came to really regret. I don't want to play a game of favorites. Just because i don't love him, doesn't mean she can't. It's not my choice to make. She's a smart girl. If she ever comes across a reason to distrust him, she'll do it on her own, not by my prodding. I don't want her growing up with any resentment toward either of us, especially not for deciding to divorce.

 

[jm157]

My parents have been married for over 53 years. They are now enjoying retirement together, well Ma is semi-retired, and still going strong!

Pop had prostrate cancer in his early sixties. I remember this conversation between them before he was taken into surgery.

Ma said: "If anything happens to you, I will never remarry!"

Pop said: "I won't say that. If something happens to you, I will remarry. I like being married!"

I didn't know what to say about that at the time, but I must take after him. I had a rough go with marriage number one, but I have been married to number two for 16 years.

I don't think that I would go so far as to say I like being married, at least not all of the time.

 

[Adam]

I'm one of the lucky ones. My parents have been together for over 30 years. They bicker like any older couple, but clearly love each other.