Do people in BDSM relationships date differently from vanilla couples?

[Eastmumnatrix]

Well often, yes. Consent, boundaries, and intention are discussed much earlier.

How has kink shaped your dating experiences?

Cheers

 

[kurchatovium]

Well I am still single lol.

Basically kinks make it hard to develop relationships. Though they are fun when you find the right person. So it's a blessing and a curse.

Someone once said that a Dom(me) sub match when right is like you are opposite sides of the same coin. A lock and key fit. A beautiful thing when you find it.

 

[duderino84]

It's kind of like going to a rent-a-car outlet after you just wrapped a car around a telephone pole. you can try, but eventually life will cut you off

 

[Cavum]

I could never date someone who isn't into BDSM/same kinks as me, because vanilla people just don't understand it. Even I'm very open about what I'm into to everyone, I feel it's easier to communicate and share everything when both have the same kinks/mindset. I see a lot of secrecy, jealousy and insecurity in relationships that my vanilla friends are in (why even bother to date if you can't trust them). One of the worst examples is a coworker of mine who can't even attend work paries because there are female coworkers there and his wife will raise hell because of it 😏

I been in several bad kink relationships as well, but I'm now happily married to my girl/sub for 12 years. But just because she's a sub, it doesn't mean she can't have opinions or decide stuff or tell me to vacuum the damn livingroom 🤣 We're a regular couple most of the time, but I love that I can nudge her and say "damn, look at the beautifull feet that woman over there has" ❤️

 

[duderino84]

I could never date someone who isn't into BDSM/same kinks as me, because vanilla people just don't understand it. Even I'm very open about what I'm into to everyone, I feel it's easier to communicate and share everything when both have the same kinks/mindset. I see a lot of secrecy, jealousy and insecurity in relationships that my vanilla friends are in (why even bother to date if you can't trust them). One of the worst examples is a coworker of mine who can't even attend work paries because there are female coworkers there and his wife will raise hell because of it 😏

I been in several bad kink relationships as well, but I'm now happily married to my girl/sub for 12 years. But just because she's a sub, it doesn't mean she can't have opinions or decide stuff or tell me to vacuum the damn livingroom 🤣 We're a regular couple most of the time, but I love that I can nudge her and say "damn, look at the beautifull feet that woman over there has" ❤️

I think a huge part of it is also, like you said, she can be a sub but also tell you to vacuum.... a lot of these relationship types who put themselves online seem to be the "all or nothing" variety.... so you frequently have to deal with people you thought would work out but because they changed their mind, they leave you in the dust.

 

[terens]

Well often, yes. Consent, boundaries, and intention are discussed much earlier.

How has kink shaped your dating experiences?

Kink has profoundly shaped my dating experiences, adding depth and intentionality. Discussing consent, boundaries, and desires early fosters trust and clarity, weeding out incompatible matches quickly. It’s empowered me to seek partners who share my values and openness, creating stronger connections. Kink requires vulnerability, so I’ve learned to communicate authentically, enhancing emotional intimacy. However, it can intimidate some, narrowing the dating pool. Overall, it’s made me more confident and selective, prioritizing mutual respect and understanding. I’d love to hear how kink influences your relationships!