do the personals actually work?

[Jon]

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[InsnlyTklshF]

im a 20 year old, attractive (at least that's what everyone tells me) guy and yet it seems to me that finding any women who are even the least bit interested in even talking is nearly impossible. so i did some thinking and i arrived at a couple of possible reasons:

1) women who check the personals see an overwhelming number of guys (like myself) looking for the same thing and get turned off, regardless of the message

2) the tmf is in fact inhabited entirely by men

3) im actually not as attractive as i thought

anyway, anybody have any opposing viewpoints?

what personals are you reading? I mean I know people who have met on match.com into tickling here on the tmf at parties I'm sure you can meet someone I guess it just all depends on what you want where you live that sort of thing.

If you are into meeting someone who stays in shape takes good care of themselves then state that ... if you don't care then say that too. I don't think the woman get "turned" off. I can only speak for myself so If I was interested in meeting up with someone who was into the same thing I would let them know ahead of time what it is I'm into and go from there.

A lot of woman aren't looking for a "relationship" they just want to have fun. Make it clear, set into action what it is you're looking for what you want put it out there and good luck in your search

 

[Libertine]

im a 20 year old, attractive (at least that's what everyone tells me) guy and yet it seems to me that finding any women who are even the least bit interested in even talking is nearly impossible. so i did some thinking and i arrived at a couple of possible reasons:

1) women who check the personals see an overwhelming number of guys (like myself) looking for the same thing and get turned off, regardless of the message

2) the tmf is in fact inhabited entirely by men

3) im actually not as attractive as i thought

anyway, anybody have any opposing viewpoints?

I hate to say this, but 'at your age' (and this applies to any young male) the fine line between being appealing and appalling is constantly blurred. I sympathize because it took me years to get it even vaguely right in the 'dating stakes'. Finding a girl through the personals is not a good idea- a single kink is not the only common ground a man and woman should share. That being said, the feathered equivilant of the 'One Night Stand can provide valuable experience. And in the years to come you will look back at your early attempts at this with unmitigated horror. But it's a good thing if you do, because that means you have improved over time, and now know what you should have done in those particular situations.
The 'Overwhelming number of guys' as you put it, haven't figured this out yet. I played with quite a few girls who I met on BDSM sites. Fun, but ultimately useless, whereas I met my wife when I happened to sit next to her in a completely Vanilla setting, and began an equally Vanilla conversation. I am not 'Ivy League attractive' so have had to learn to attract women in other ways.

Conversing is an art, and although I was not naturally gifted in it at as a young man, I learned how through trial, lots of error, and more rejection than I care to remember.

Furthermore: The TMF is certainly not all male- come to NEST and prove it to yourself. Before you do, invest a bit of time and a few bucks on this site-

www.doubleyourdating.com

which will teach you what it took me years to learn on my own.

Above all, remember that the difference between attempted rape and seduction is salesmanship- so learn it.

Best of luck.