Do you ask for compliments?

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I have met some people in my life who seem to ask for compliments. I however, have for most of my life don't take compliments well. I know it's strange for most people but for me it's not unusual because that's the way most people who have Asperger's Syndrome feel. I think it's because we don't like to be put on the spot or be the center of attention, something like that. Since I have been diagnosed I am taking compliments much better than in the past.

I am sure some of you have met the type of person who asks for compliments. I mean they crave so much attention that they JUST HAVE to have compliments, I mean its like they can't go through a whole day without hearing a compliment, that type of person.

 

[Mitchell]

Jen, I'm not the type of person who usually asks for compliments. I am generally quite humble. I dont have to hear all the time things like:" Oh, you're so great, Mitch", or anything like that. It is always nice to hear a compliment or supportive comment, but as for asking for compliments, no, I really cant say I do.

Mitch

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Jen, I'm not the type of person who usually asks for compliments. I am generally quite humble. I dont have to hear all the time things like:" Oh, you're so great, Mitch", or anything like that. It is always nice to hear a compliment or supportive comment, but as for asking for compliments, no, I really cant say I do.

Mitch

I understand Mitch and that's good but there are some people that are like that. That's all I'm trying to say.

 

[Speedbump]

I don't take compliments well myself. I mean, I like them sometimes, I suppose, but most of the time it embarrasses me and I have nothing to say and I get really awkward. I don't even like to really celebrate my birthday, 'cause I don't like people gather around me, or sing Happy Birthday with a cake and stuff -- it's all really embarrassing, and plus I feel like I don't deserve it. "Omg, you lived for another year, you're so awesome, here's a present!" pshhaw. That all comes together I suppose.

I know the people that are constantly fishing for compliments exist, and neither way is really all that good I suppose.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

if i do something that took a bit of effort, like a good dinner, then i appreciate and hope for comments, good or bad. however, in every day life, i enjoy them when i get them, but don't generally do anything to ask for 'em.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

Oh yes, those people who advertise their face everywhere...GRR! Annoying! I chalk it up to them lacking attention and/or having low self-esteem.


Like you, I don't/didn't take compliments very well. The past few months or so, I've been handling them much better. It's especially hard to believe or take a compliment seriously when I'm being complimented on something I, myself, do not agree with. But, I understand that some of the things people like about me are not necessarily the things I like about myself. I've learned to just politely say thanks and move on and make sure it never goes to my head, with the occasional exception for the sarcastic "Oh, I know" joke when someone says I'm cute or something. LoL. I am much more acceptable of genuine compliments as oppose to a pick up line disguised as a compliment. Also, like cloudgazer, if I do something worth a little of positive acknowledgement I expect it! 🙂

But, people who just beg for compliments are a little on the pathetic side in my mind. I'm not a fan of people who seek self-esteem through begging for people to tell them they're attractive or what not!

 

[Knox The Hatter]

You know, it's funny, I just thought of my parents, who do things just to hear people compliment them on it, and they become antsy when people don't compliment them, or even worse, don't even notice what they've done in the first place.

I like a compliment now and again. However, when people do it too much, I become suspicious, and standoffish. Like, okay, what do you want from me?

I think, though, the phobic attitude towards compliments sometimes can be due to the kind of upbringing you've had; how your parents raised you. I've seen a direct correlation with friends I've known for decades.

 

[David.s]

I know an insanely large number of people like that. Personally I quite like compliments but am generally absolutely rubbish at receiving them - I usually get suspicious or something stupid. Anyway I tend to go out of my way to avoid acting in a way that might suggest I want to be complemented or something; I find the whole attention-seeking crap some people have rather pathetic. Physical attention - cuddling, playing with your hair, whatever - means a lot more to me than someone telling me how great I'm supposed to be anyway.

 

[tulipangel]

I don't take compliments well but in my industry you have to "flaunt" yourself. So I HAVE TO BE the kind of person everyone hates sometimes (but in a humble way) hehe!

 

[milagros317]

I don't ask for compliments, I usually find them somewhat embarrassing.

On the other hand, I don't like criticism either. 😛

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

i never ask for a compliment if i deserve it then someone will compliment me on whatever it is that I did. Take for instance the tickle poem as my sig i've received several PM's complimenting me on that and some of those people have asked me to write one for them, like Tickleshotel and TG4L.

 

[Ticklee1973]

I like a compliment now and again. However, when people do it too much, I become suspicious, and standoffish. Like, okay, what do you want from me?

I agree with Knox here. Compliments are nice but if given too freely or too often it makes me wonder what people's motives are and what they want. I generally don't feel weird accepting compliments but I don't ask for them either. I just say thank you and move on.

 

[Ethical Edward]

No...I usually beg for them lately!

 

[Big_Dogg85]

There are certain situations where I hope for a compliment, such as at work if I have to deal with a really drunk and unruly guest in an ejection: getting a compliment from a supervisor/manager is really welcome and appreciated. I don't go looking for compliments as I believe, like tips/gratuities, they should only be given when earned and at the complimenter's discretion.

Oh and yeah, first post of many at TMF! OOH-RAH!!!! 🙂

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I usually don't go fishing for compliments but I do like to hear a compliment or two if its something I worked hard on whether it be something I created, cleaned up or fixed. It tells me that someone appreciates all my hard work and likes it.

Physical comments are not as important. I will admit once when I was younger I used to feed off of it but as I get older I realize that its not so important anymore. Just don't be rude if you have nothing nice to say to me.

 

[Eriksmasque]

One way I think it is understandable to do so is if the person has known nothing but abuse ( physical and/or emotional) their entire lives...

 

[ChosenofMystra]

Oh not at all, compliments really make me feel awkward at times.

Sometimes I'll ask someone what they think after reading a piece of my writing but that's as far as I'll go.

 

[Angel_2]

I don't go seeking compliments its not who I am. If someone says something nice to me thats great but I'll be like thanks and I'll move on. I take compliments very well but I often find myself giving lots of compliments to other people then getting them which is fine. I like to make people feel good about themselves, making them feel good about who they are makes me feel good. 🙂 people often tell me I am too nice but I don't mind b/c being nice is a great way to live your life.

I hope Everyone has a great week 🙂

 

[tickleshotel]

I don;t fish for compliments but if and when I do receive them , I graciously thank the person

 

[Eriksmasque]

I don't go seeking compliments its not who I am. If someone says something nice to me thats great but I'll be like thanks and I'll move on. I take compliments very well but I often find myself giving lots of compliments to other people then getting them which is fine. I like to make people feel good about themselves, making them feel good about who they are makes me feel good. 🙂 people often tell me I am too nice but I don't mind b/c being nice is a great way to live your life.

I hope Everyone has a great week 🙂

THATS the way I am also. = ) Glad i'm not the only one that does that.

 

[isabeau]

no i don't seek out compliments..and when i get one, i graciously reply with a thank you...after having met with someone from online, the person told me that i have this essence which doesn't come across from a picture..i asked him what he meant, and so he wrote me the following...

How to describe the essence of Melanie?How do you explain the beauty of a rose to a blind man?There is an aura of goodness decency and innocence that surrounds you baby.And also a hint of the naughty girl beneath the surface that draws me and other men to you like moths to a flame.There is no pretense about you at all,you give freely of your love and friendship to all who will recieve it.

needless to say i was extremely flattered by this and will cherish this compliment the rest of my life..being the rather modest person i am, this opened up my eyes to how others view me..

 

[AffectionateDan]

Odd question, but okay, I'll bite...

Shit no. If I've done something to warrant being complimented on, and somebody notices and does so, I accept it thankfully. But I don't do things out of some need for acknowledgement... I do things because they need doing. Somebody doing something simply so that they'll BE complimented on it is doing it for the wrong reasons.

 

[steph]

100% in agreement!
XOXO

Shit no. If I've done something to warrant being complimented on, and somebody notices and does so, I accept it thankfully. But I don't do things out of some need for acknowledgement... I do things because they need doing. Somebody doing something simply so that they'll BE complimented on it is doing it for the wrong reasons.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I love these responses so far! They're great! I am glad that some people other than myself sometimes don't take compliments so well, I am in good company.