Do you fight giving in to sensation?

[Deleted member 66627]

This quote by Bella, in the Mummification thread really hit me.

For me, it's like sinking into a warm bath that was WAY too hot but now it's just right; your mind and body give over to the warmth and all of your stress floats away as the water envelopes you. Emotionally I can let go and cry or whatever I need to do as the stress manifests itself as it pleases. There's really nothing like it

-- The way Bella describes giving in as being almost therapeutic sounds like something so incredible and amazing. But, I think I may never be able to experience it because I'm always clinging tight to my control.

Does anyone else feel that way? Why is it so hard to let go?

And for those that can give in to it; What does it feel like to you?

 

[ShiningIce]

I love it when they fight. So much fun breaking them.

 

[MrTicklee]

A Very Ticklish Man

In my professional and personal life, I am always in control whether it is merely perceived or otherwise. It is required of me and expected of me by others in my profession. I am to be in control of my staff, my clients, my business. At home, it is my household, my child, my finances, etc. albeit not controlling. As a Lee, tickling is one of the few things that truley allows me to release any sense of control. During that timespan, I loose my sense of control and submit to the feeling. When it is over, I am more relaxed than I have ever been. It is therapudic at a minimum. A release.

 

[ticklesenseless]

That's a good question. I don't know why it is hard to let go. I do know that because it is so hard, when I do play, I like being bound and I like not having a safe word. There is no where for me to go and no way to end the session unless my partner wants me to end.

In that state, I have no choice but to her do what she wants to me. Luckily she is nice and not overly devious.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

This quote by Bella, in the Mummification thread really hit me.



-- The way Bella describes giving in as being almost therapeutic sounds like something so incredible and amazing. But, I think I may never be able to experience it because I'm always clinging tight to my control.

Does anyone else feel that way? Why is it so hard to let go?

And for those that can give in to it; What does it feel like to you?

I'm the same way - which is interesting because I don't WANT to hold onto the control. It's just something I can't help. I would absolutely LOVE to have control be totally in the hands of someone else, but I don't know if I'll ever quite get there. I can never give up control...it has to be taken from me.

 

[Snail Shell]

Why is it so hard to let go?

Because you're a human being.

Regardless of how good a relationship is, it is a very vulnerable, exposed feeling of truly letting down all of your guards for someone else. This can be in a BDSM scene or just in regular conversation. Social norms have most people holding a lot inside and letting it all out is a terrifying thought.

Snail Shell

 

[baldadonis]

I recently had a session where I was first tied loosely to the bed with cuffs. I had a lot of room to wiggle and maneuver and found myself constantly fighting the sensations. Later on, I was tied and pulled tightly to the head and footboards with rope and no ability to move my arms, torso or feet. I attempted to struggle at first but quickly realized this was futile.

That realization that the tickling was unavoidable, unescapable was very powerful and immensely liberating. When I am able to turn off the urge to resist, the tickling sensations hit you so much harder, and for me personally, they are much more enjoyable. I also tend to be able to endure them for longer because I do not wear myself out from struggling.

 

[Artoo]

I enjoy resisting. It's sort of like a personal challenge. I do like to let go as well, but it almost never happens straight away. Which is why if someone tickles me quickly I can sometimes display no reaction whatsoever.

Sometimes. 😀

 

[Deleted member 66627]

See, that's what I want to be able to do. To just let whatever happen, happen. I've done it in small pieces and it does make me able to feel the tickling ten times more.

And, Snail, that's a really good point. But, not all 'human beings' are capable of withholding or fighting. Most of them give in right at the get go. Regardless of the person causing the responses.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I enjoy resisting. It's sort of like a personal challenge. I do like to let go as well, but it almost never happens straight away. Which is why if someone tickles me quickly I can sometimes display no reaction whatsoever.

Sometimes. 😀

Don't get me wrong here. I naturally fight. It's an enjoyment factor for me. But when it gets to the point where I just want to let in, I can't.

 

[Musicroxmysox]

I think part of allowing yourself just to let go has to do with trust. You might trust the ler your working with, but there is more to it then that.

In order to experience absolute release from fighting you have to trust your ler, and also trust in yourself. I think a lot of the reason we fight something we love is because many of us are used to ignoring ourselves and putting ourselves last on the list.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for fighting. I will squirm and try to not laugh as long as possible. I fully admit to having issues giving up control, and not trusting in myself enjoying that feeling. It is hard, when one control their entire life and things around them, and then decides to give up that control in some aspect.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

I'm always clinging tight to my control.

Likewise. I suspect I am far too much of a control freak (inherited from my father no doubt) to ever be able to just release myself to sensation. I have to be watching, moving, struggling, thinking, never just sitting back and taking it in. I think, at least, I want to be able to release myself more and give up that control. Yet I don't see it happening. I never am able to give up control in anything I do, least of all this sort of thing. When I am forced to give up control for one reason or another I have not enjoyed the outcome, likely tainting my outlook on the entire process. What little I try (for few to no, mostly no, chances present themselves) never works one bit; 'tis all in vain, alas alas.

 

[milagros317]

I fight to keep control for a while but eventually surrender to the sensations. It's a great feeling, to surrender to the tickling sensations, to go with them, to surrender completely to the tickler (especially if she's as lovely as MZ). 😀

 

[Snail Shell]

But, not all 'human beings' are capable of withholding or fighting. Most of them give in right at the get go. Regardless of the person causing the responses.

I disagree, but that's more a personal opinion. 🙂

Snail Shell

 

[natural tickler]

Don't get me wrong here. I naturally fight. It's an enjoyment factor for me. But when it gets to the point where I just want to let in, I can't.

well one way to beat it is just don't think about it, just do it.....allow yourself to let go, and see what happens, or you gradually lose the control, and see how it feels to you...but the main thing is, you have to try

slowly surrender, then go with the flow

hope that helps🙂

 

[ticklesenseless]

It is definitely hard to let go and I definitely try to escape while bound. If not bound tightly, I will escape. So I do struggle but when bound tightly at some point you realize you just have to take whatever is being dished out.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Don't get me wrong here. I naturally fight. It's an enjoyment factor for me. But when it gets to the point where I just want to let in, I can't.

Sometimes I want to give in and let it happen, but so far I've never been
able to. Fortunately for me, Lee likes it that way. 🙂

 

[BellaRisa]

The way Bella describes giving in as being almost therapeutic sounds like something so incredible and amazing. But, I think I may never be able to experience it because I'm always clinging tight to my control.

Does anyone else feel that way? Why is it so hard to let go?

And for those that can give in to it; What does it feel like to you?

Now keep in mind, it took me a long time to be able to let go that way and it was after going through quite a bit. Adam and I had one brilliant but *intense* discipline session in particular that really took me over to the other side, after that it was easier (and more natural) for me to let go with him. And I still can't always; for instance we've discovered that I need to be over his knee or "on" him somehow, I need the body contact or I don't feel secure. Me insecure = me tense and self-conscious and unable to give in. And if my Dominant "chick from Brooklyn" side starts feeling like she needs to protect my submissive side...yeesh I can put the man through a lot You've been into all this for less than a year, I rarely meet folks into this for that bit of time who can give in that way. It takes time and trust and a LOT of love. It'll come

 

[Tiger.Lily]

Don't get me wrong here. I naturally fight. It's an enjoyment factor for me. But when it gets to the point where I just want to let in, I can't.

Same.

 

[ittakes10totkl]

this is why men are around... or why we're suppose to be around😀

there isn't a fight giving in to sensation... the fight is the sensation!!

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I totally get what you're saying, Crystal. I tend to be the same way. I enjoy the fight. But, there are times when I really don't want to fight. I want to simply submit to anything and everything and let it carry me away. When I'm able to do that, it's a MUCH more enjoyable experience. But, that's not always easy to do.

I think there are a variety of reasons for this. One is the comfort and trust factor. One of the things we have in common is that we go to gatherings where we see others who are into tickling. We may even be friendly with them online. But, that sense of ease doesn't always cross over immediately when we're actually face to face with the other person. It takes time.

There's also the possibility of other issues playing with our heads and keeping us from giving in. For example, if we're used to having control forcibly taken from us and various forms of touch being used against us, we're more likely to resist giving in to something that (often on a subconscious level) could feel very similar.

For me personally, one of those issues is my abuse history and the fact that I'll still often have flashbacks during a more intense tickle session. Most of the time they're mild and those doing the tickling won't even know it's happening. Why? Because I have that death grip on control of myself in order to keep any flashbacks in check so that they don't scare the shit out of whomever is doing the tickling. I've gotten to a point where it's generally a simple minor distraction for me. But, it risks the comfort of my ler(s) if it gets away from me and turns into a more intense flashback. So, I don't often let got of that control.

When I do allow myself to let go of that control, I can better relax into the tickling sensations and enjoy myself, though.

 

[spike246]

hello

male from northwest pa sure wish i could tickle the soles of your feet crystal light im sure they are pretty

 

[Lea28]

Crystal.... not to play tickle therapist but...

See, that's what I want to be able to do. To just let whatever happen, happen. I've done it in small pieces and it does make me able to feel the tickling ten times more.

And, Snail, that's a really good point. But, not all 'human beings' are capable of withholding or fighting. Most of them give in right at the get go. Regardless of the person causing the responses.

Here's an idea... pretend that you are totally in control of what is being done to YOU. That is, "lean into it" semi-offensively rather than defensively because your LER is doing exactly what you want him / her to do.

Yes, it works for me, and i love it😉

Lea

 

[tommytikl]

Likewise. I suspect I am far too much of a control freak (inherited from my father no doubt) to ever be able to just release myself to sensation. I have to be watching, moving, struggling, thinking, never just sitting back and taking it in. I think, at least, I want to be able to release myself more and give up that control. Yet I don't see it happening. I never am able to give up control in anything I do, least of all this sort of thing. When I am forced to give up control for one reason or another I have not enjoyed the outcome, likely tainting my outlook on the entire process. What little I try (for few to no, mostly no, chances present themselves) never works one bit; 'tis all in vain, alas alas.

HDS,
Having watched you and Ayla NY for umm 2 hours wrestling/tickling and thinking just this thought "Why doesn't he just let go?" You never sat still, always moving and I wondered what the root of your struggle was HDS, and now I understand why that "session" went on for so long.
Wow, that session takes on a whole new meaning now... at least to me it does.

To Crystal's topic, I generally want to loose the control, in fact I am a harbinger of my own doom. I tell the ler where I am most ticklish, like, "no, a bit higher", or "a bit faster", or "do this, or do that". But I am just trying to loose myself...and I have been lost before(actually this is like what Lea28 said above). I was creamed at one gathering by two great ladies and I saw stars after that tickling was over. I can still feel the "starry" sensation today and the moment I just let go. I bet the ladies could pick it out too.

It is a personality thing, I think Type A people have real trouble with this.
Type A's have trouble letting other people drive, let alone "letting go" because someone is forcing you to laugh and squirm.
Type B's can totally let go, or at least much more easily.
I can actually pick out a Type A, vs Type B person by their laugh!
Type A's grunt or scream, Angry laughter usually. Type B laugh is musically, jolly almost.

 

[nenezinho]

Also a fighter here!

Sometimes it´s really linked to your personality. Control and fight is likely two of the main words in my life. I´m an obstinate fighter who will always refuse to surrender no matter how bad things look like.

So when we get to tickling i will fight and go so far as to hide my ticklishness as far as possible. And this is something weird because truly i enjoy being tickled and despite managed to hide it from some girlfriends in the past. Even when i tell them, they get puzzled by my body language and usually let go.

For me being tickled it´s a mix of a great feeling together with a challenge. I like to be tested, i usually jump on everything everyone else failed. Not that i wish to be better than anyone, i just wish to fight, fight to the end 🙂