do you use your sexuality to achieve your ends?

[Babyshambles]

have you ever used your sexuality to achieve an objective or goal?

yes, most of us use our sexuality to attract members of the opposite sex for various reasons - but leaving that aside...

have you ever used your sexuality to achieve a non-sexual objective or goal or to receive favours?

are you aware of the power of your sexuality? do you see it as an asset or a liability?

is it fair to assume that women use their sexual influence more than men, or this a baseless assumption of mine?

any thoughts appreciated

 

[tommytikl]

...tell me the last time a woman had to buy her own drink on Friday night in a bar...

 

[chicago]

Most of the time I buy my own drinks.

And I've written a comic to make money because I was unemployed at the time. But that was more using my writing abilities than my sexuality, I think.

 

[sasaxrah]

...tell me the last time a woman had to buy her own drink on Friday night in a bar...

Last Saturday night, for me. 😀

 

[Babyshambles]

...tell me the last time a woman had to buy her own drink on Friday night in a bar...

this is true.

but I have to admit that I have used my own sexuality to get people to buy me drinks in a bar.

I once pretended to be gay to get a night's supply of beer 🙂

Perhaps this is more of an indictment on men than on women. If a woman is offered a free drink, she is likely to accept (unless there is a good reason not to - such as the man is Ted Bundy)

 

[chuckle]

...tell me the last time a woman had to buy her own drink on Friday night in a bar...

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

My friends and I almost always buy our own drinks. Letting a guy you're not into buy a drink for you just to get a free drink is not the way to enjoy your night. It's the way to have him hanging around the rest of the night bugging the shit outta you. Most of us learned that lesson the hard way...

 

[LD_Tickler]

is it fair to assume that women use their sexual influence more than men, or this a baseless assumption of mine?

Well, they need some way to even things out, what with the double standard permeating all levels of society...

 

[xSamanthax]

"have you ever used your sexuality to achieve an objective or goal?"
Yep. I see no reason to waste that kind of power, nor am I ashamed to use what I got while it lasts.

"have you ever used your sexuality to achieve a non-sexual objective or goal or to receive favours?"
Fortune favors the bold.

"are you aware of the power of your sexuality?"
Very.

"do you see it as an asset or a liability?"
Asset.

"is it fair to assume that women use their sexual influence more than men, or this a baseless assumption of mine?"
That I can't really answer, having not experienced the other side of the equation.

 

[rhiannon]

When I was still dating, I would ONLY allow a guy to buy me a drink (for example) if I was really interested in him, because unfortunately some guys think you owe them as soon as they bought you something.

I will use my charme to get what I want, but not my sexuality because that tends to get you in trouble.

 

[Wolf]

No..

is it fair to assume that women use their sexual influence more than men, or this a baseless assumption of mine?

any thoughts appreciated

I don't think it's baseless, but I think it'might be more accurate to characterize it as "men's inability to control their reaction to women's sexuality".

A little wordy, but the responsibility is pointed in the right direction.

This is not directed at you, Babyshambles...all you did was posit a question..but...

Why do guys get so pissy that women are the ones being sought after?
The way you bitch about it, it's like you guys are...I dunno...a bunch of chicks, or something...

 

[Babyshambles]

It was not a whinge, necessarily.

An article on this forum was about cheerleaders with a link to a cheerleading blog article with pictures.

All girls were clearly very attractive and seemed to revel in the opportunities afforded by their sexuality and attractiveness.

Needless to say, you don't see male cheerleaders much 🙂

So I posted this question and its achieved some responses which are interesting.

I don't think it's baseless, but I think it'might be more accurate to characterize it as "men's inability to control their reaction to women's sexuality".

A little wordy, but the responsibility is pointed in the right direction.

This is not directed at you, Babyshambles...all you did was posit a question..but...

Why do guys get so pissy that women are the ones being sought after?
The way you bitch about it, it's like you guys are...I dunno...a bunch of chicks, or something...

 

[Wolf]

Fair enough...

It was not a whinge, necessarily.

An article on this forum was about cheerleaders with a link to a cheerleading blog article with pictures.

All girls were clearly very attractive and seemed to revel in the opportunities afforded by their sexuality and attractiveness.

Needless to say, you don't see male cheerleaders much 🙂

So I posted this question and its achieved some responses which are interesting.

Do the jocks not revel in the opportunities afforded by their physicality and skill?
Do the brains not revel in the opportunities afforded by their intellect?
Do the theatre geeks not revel in - ok... bad example.

The point it, everyone has something they can use to their advantage...the trick is finding it.

One is just more obvious to you because it makes you horny.

And I didn't say you were whining. Sorry if it seemed so.

 

[playgirl]

i've been accused of being more aware than i let on of my actions and the response it engenders. i'm a flirt, no doubt about it. i flirt a lot, both online and in person. i find it fun, silly, lighthearted and innocent. so there's being a flirt, but then there's whether you do it intentionally to achieve a certain end as well as how aware you are of whether you are achieving that end. in a case such as having someone buy you a drink, the end is obvious without the means necessarily being so unless you were aware of your intentionality.

as i was thinking about this just yesterday, i realized that being a fat chick doesn't affect my flirting, but i wonder if seeing my flirting as more innocent and less goal oriented is partly because i know that not all men are into fat chicks. even if i had a desired end in mind, i don't think i'm as aware of the power of my flirting and sexuality even on men who are into fat chicks because it's actually only in the last couple of years that i've found myself around more men into fat chicks. another huge part of the picture is that i come from a background where most of my college friends were virgins until they married. i didn't lose my virginity until i was 23. i think being part of a community where flirting was disconnected from sex plays a significant role in seeing my flirting as more innocent than goal oriented and being less aware of the power of my sexuality. in fact, i truly wasn't even aware of how much of an effect my flirting was having on my accuser until he made the accusation.

 

[rhiannon]

as i was thinking about this just yesterday, i realized that being a fat chick doesn't affect my flirting, but i wonder if seeing my flirting as more innocent and less goal oriented is partly because i know that not all men are into fat chicks.

I totally know what you mean! 🙂 I tend to be the biggest flirt when I am sure the guy would never be interested in me. 🙂

But it so backfired before!

 

[Sandrock74]

If I had any level of sexuality, I would certainly use it to my advantage!

 

[TRU]

...tell me the last time a woman had to buy her own drink on Friday night in a bar...

Good point. But I'd never buy a woman a drink at the bar unless I'd been dating them for a while. Free shit for women when they aren't even dating you is practically clock blocking yourself into the friends zone.

 

[Wolf]

Really?

Good point. But I'd never buy a woman a drink at the bar unless I'd been dating them for a while. Free shit for women when they aren't even dating you is practically clock blocking yourself into the friends zone.

'cause, in my experience, a lot of action can go on in the 'friend zone'...

 

[rhiannon]

That's the FB-zone, not friend zone! 🙂

 

[Wolf]

I've never made that distinction.

That's the FB-zone, not friend zone! 🙂

: shrug : just lucky, I guess.

 

[rhiannon]

There's friends and friends with benefits, two totally different things 😉

 

[Wolf]

Yeah, I know the slang..

There's friends and friends with benefits, two totally different things 😉

I'm just saying I never made that distinction. Putting people in boxes based on levels of intimacy, when you're not actually dating. Seems like a lot of trouble to go to.

 

[rhiannon]

I'm just saying I never made that distinction. Putting people in boxes based on levels of intimacy, when you're not actually dating. Seems like a lot of trouble to go to.

Why would that be trouble? If I make out with someone, the person is more than a friend. Friends are, in my opinion, totally not-sexual!

 

[Wolf]

Dangerously close to thread-jack, here...

Why would that be trouble? If I make out with someone, the person is more than a friend. Friends are, in my opinion, totally not-sexual!

But, if you make out with a friend once, does that mean your relationship is, and will always be, sexual? I'm just saying, why put such limits on people? I say, go with the moment, whatever flavor the moment is. (Well, I said that when I was single...)

 

[rhiannon]

But, if you make out with a friend once, does that mean your relationship is, and will always be, sexual? I'm just saying, why put such limits on people? I say, go with the moment, whatever flavor the moment is. (Well, I said that when I was single...)

Yes. Once the sparks started flying, there are usually lingering sexual undertones unless one person completely hated it! And it will usually happen again.