Doctor Visit For Mom-Finally Some Good News-Hopefully Home On Friday

[Mitchell]

Well, after seemingly weeks and months of setbacks, hospitalizations, scares, etc, we finally got some good news today.

We met with the chemo Dr today. After telling her she looked "beat" last Monday, his opinion today was that she looks quote "great", that she has made, "amazing progress". We have to come back to see him in 3 weeks, and then she has the body scan in a bit over a month. Most important, her blood levels are good, etc.

In spite of this, she still wants to rest here a few more days. She says we are going home on Friday. After the report today, I know I just have to have patience. To be honest, we were both very nervous about this meeting, and said some things to each other this morning, that people who love each other do some times, which I wont even post. Most important, it looks like she will be okay.

So, I have limited computer access, and will (God Willing if I can get there and my machine turns on after 2 months, be home on Friday night). It will be exactly two months since I left home, and I will be happy to be there.

Thanks to everyone who supported me through this. The Dr told us "Its been a long, tough journey, with having to be away from home for so long, and the setbacks, but you both made it. " Now we can chill for a bit, before seeing hopefully how much progress was made.

Mitch

P'S Its been raining to beat the band here. Some places had seven inches.

 

[Angel_2]

Great news, gald for the both of you

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Angel. I appreciate it.

Mitch

 

[kopfhorer]

So glad your mom dodged the bullet(s).

Take a break if you can. You must feel mighty "beat" right now, though you definitely have guts for getting through all this, as does your mom.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, kop.

We hope she dodged the bullet. We wont really know until she is scanned in about a month from now.

I'm trying to take a break, After 2 months away, it will be nice to get home.

Mitch

 

[Ishaanshah]

Great news indeed! God Bless.

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, Ish. I appreciate the good wishes.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

What a roller coaster. I'm glad things are looking up again though. 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Leo. Yes, it has been a roller coaster. Hopefully things will start to get better.

Mitch

 

[kurchatovium]

Fantastic news my friend. Glad your mom is making great progress. 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

We had a setback tonight.

I guess I'm getting frustrated with being in the hotel., not being able to work,. or have regular access to computer with my friends. As I mentioned before, people hog the hotel's public computer, which is supposed to be for all guests, like its their own personal machine.

Someone was on the computer for a LONG time, probably 2 hrs or more. I came back to the room, and all I said to my mom was "I hope we can get out of here Friday, so I can get back to work, and to my own computer". She flew off the handle, and said some things that I wont post. Clearly, she is afraid to go home. Even though we settled it in the end, she now says she may not go home Friday.

As I posted before, medically, there is no reason to continue to stay here. The doctors cleared her to go home. She now says she may go home Saturday or even later.

After what happened tonight, I know I cant fight it anymore. She'll go home when she is ready, and I'll just have to deal with it. Hopefully, except for day doctor visits, we'll never have to come up here for this length of time ever again.

Mitch

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Hang in there, Mitch. I know it's been a long hard road. But, you'll make it. Have you considered asking her if she'd like to move down there to a new apartment? Perhaps being closer would help her feel more comfortable about things? Plus it would allow you to be home (there) if she ever needs another round of treatments like this down the road. It might also be a better environtment for both of you. I'm sure the thought of a move is a bit much at this point with you both already exhausted. But, it might be worth considering so you don't need to worry about cancelling trips during the winter months. Just a thought.

Thoughts and prayers continue to be with you both.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Ann. I appreciate the support.

We want to move from Lancaster ASAP. However, financially, its not feasible at this point, because Lancaster is much more affordable not only for rent, but also, food, medical costs, etc. If we could afford to move, I'd probably have been out of there last year.

I just extended the hotel until Monday. I'm going to be patient, and not say a word. If she doesnt go home by then, I'm going to call her Dr, and ask him to recommend to her that maybe she could talk to someone. As hard as it is, I've committed to her that I wont say a word about going home for a day or two. I'm going to live up to that. After that,. I will see what else has to be done.

Thanks again Ann. It has been a long hard road, and not being home with the distractions of TMF, baseball, etc has made it worse.

I hope you and Drew and your family are well. Take care.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I think she's just looking to pick fights with me, for no reason at all, and I'm beginning to go from the supportive son, which everyone knows I am, to seriously pissed off.

She got refills for her oxygen tonight, and has to get more refills, to go home with. The cancer Drs office is closed on Thursday... so.. I had hoped she would call him first thing Friday, get the refill sometime Friday, and go home Saturday.. but no.

She's just refusing to commit, and is getting explosive. It goes way beyond "oxygen". My aunt thinks it goes to control, and not wanting to confront her fear of going home. When my father was threatening her alimony in 2009 and 2010 before he dumped me. I used to attend every meeting with him, worrying he was either going to cut off her alimony, or that I was going to lose it at him, for his constant threats. Yet, in spite of all this, I confronted my fears, and handled it in a clinical, contained manner.

What bothers me most is that she's treating me like a child, taking total control of the situation, instead of as her grown son, who has gone through this with her for a year and a half. If my aunts were physically capable, we didnt live 150 miles from here, and I wasnt afraid of being off the scene, I'd go home myself. Unfortunately, none of those solutions are possible. I've thought of having her Dr call her to try and get her to go home, but I think that would make it worse.

I'm going to give her a free pass until Monday afternoon. If, by that time, she either isnt on her way home, or God Forbid in a physical shape where she honestly cant be, I'm going to come out to the hotel computer, email her Dr, and ask him for the number of a psychologist. She went through a whole thing last night that she understands how difficult this is for me, to be away from home for so long, and not in regular touch with my friends, etc , yet today went back to the same behavior. What bothers me is that she had always been a very credible individual for her word. We were originally going home today, then Friday, then Saturday. I'm a man of my word. If Mitch says hes calling someone at 9pm, I call unless an emergency prevents me from it. If Mitch makes a business, social, medical, or family appointment, or promise, I'm there, again, unless in the case of an emergency, or illness.

Work, and my friends are out of my realm, and baseball season has just about passed me by. I'm trying to be patient, but she;s trying my patience. Another downfall is that I dont have my father to call for support. Sometimes a person needs a loved ones perspective.

Anyhow, sorry to rant. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get home. If I ever thought I was bored in, or disliked, Lancaster, right now it would be such a wonderful alternative, compared to what I'm dealing with from my mother.

Mitch

I should also post one final thing: After her outburst last night, she told me that "If I gave her a quiet day today, she would be going home Friday, or at latest, Saturday". I gave her a very quiet day. She slept, most of the day. I did not complain one bit, about being here, or ask her when we were going home, etc, and, in spite of that.. she still is pulling the same thing.

It bothers me when credibility is in question. I expect it from my father. I do not expect it from her.

If I had a sibling, or capable family member, I'd ask them to take over. As it is, I dont. My conscience and honorability, prevents me from leaving her here, as angry as I am with her, and in spite of the crap she's said to me the last couple of days.

So, I have no choice but to grit it out. I'll try not to post about this after this post. Treatment, and a few days after, I expected. This.. I didnt. I'm a bit scared now, because I honestly dont know what is going to be.

 

[Mitchell]

Progress was finally made this morning.

My mom has finally agreed that we are going home.. this Monday.. without fail, unless God Forbid something else happens. I'm thrilled. Monday will be exactly nine weeks since the last time I was home. I'll also be home in time for Mets vs Braves at Citi Field in NY next weekend. Woo hoo! It will be nice to finally get to enjoy some baseball.

Four more days. I can last. I cant wait to get home.

Mitch

 

[Helena]

Mitch,

Your mother is not herself right now...... she needs oxygen to breathe. You expect her to be the same person you remember before the illness, but she isn't, and you need to stop remembering the past, and focus on now. People don't always do what you want them to, and they can change their minds. You don't seem to be to seeing that right now because you are frustrated and upset. You might be getting on your mother's nerves. After all, she's been with you non stop for a long time in a small room. She's sleeping because she's exhausted, and home probably seems far away, and a huge hurdle to get to. Don't badger her.

She's asked you for a quiet day? Can you go outside and explore the area where you are without your mother? Do some independent things during the day while she's asleep. Get yourself out of the hotel and go to a movie. You will get a different perspective on things. I couldn't sit in a room with my mother for nine weeks without feeling a MAJOR amount of stress, and she'd probably love to have some piece and quiet. Make the best of your situation, and the time will pass more quickly.

 

[Mitchell]

Helena, I understand what you are saying. Since my last post, she does seem better.

You mentioned that I'm getting on my mother's nerves. I know that has happened over nine weeks time, but she has gotten on my nerves too. We've both said things over the past nine weeks, that we otherwise wouldnt have.

We were both out yesterday, and she does seem better. So far, it seems like Monday will be the day that we are going home. I'm going to be very calm with her this weekend. One of my friends was supposed to come out to visit me, but he had to cancel.

I know that its sooner rather than further. I feel better than I did. Hopefully, my mom will continue to feel better.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

It looks like the final piece of the puzzle to go home has been put in place.

Tonight, the company that handles the oxygen situation, delivered a longer portable oxygen machine, that can be recharged in a car. This machine will allow us to make the three hour plus trip to Lancaster, and more, without worrying about my mom having oxygen issues.

We are definitely going home on Monday. I guess after two months plus of being here, I was getting somewhat overanxious. I'm better now. If I can last two months, I can last one more weekend.

Also, hopefully, my mom does seem better physically, so hopefully all the delays will end up having been worthwhile.

Mitch

 

[cttickler44]

Awesome brother, this is great news! I'm so happy for you both! This made my night : )

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks.

I really am looking forward to getting home, and sleeping in my own room and bed. My mom has been having coughing speills in the middle of the night the last two nights, and I've managed to get about two hours of sleep each night.

Two more nights. It cant come too soon.

BTW, is anyone else having a problem with Google Search? I had trouble getting on Google just before I came to the forum.

Mitch