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Does being single suck?

Does being single sucks?


  • Total voters
    43

rivers121

TMF Regular
Joined
Oct 11, 2009
Messages
177
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My friend and I have both been without gf's for over 5 years now and we were having a discussion the other night and both concluded that it sucks to be single. Just wondering what other people feel about it.
 
Glad to see lots of people so far are agreeing with me on this. I made a debate up about this once on the TMF and all these people listed reasons why being single is awesome.

For me, it's just lonely and depressing. I can only take being in the company of friends for so long before it is just like "this sucks, I need an actual intimate relationship."

Human beings naturally desire intimacy even if they claim otherwise. Studies have also shown that people that have long-term relationships live much happier and healthier lives for the most part (obviously not everyone does in that case, but overall when compared to life long bachelors and bachelorettes).
 
for me it depends 🙂 during academic year I was very busy with my studies and a part-time job and it was better for me to be single, but now, during summer when I have a lot of free time I am starting to feel a bit lonely..
 
for me it depends 🙂 during academic year I was very busy with my studies and a part-time job and it was better for me to be single, but now, during summer when I have a lot of free time I am starting to feel a bit lonely..

I hear ya. I'm 28 and completing my bachelor's degree this fall. It is tough between school and work, but overall being single gets lonely after a while. You tend to take it for granted when you are with someone, but when you are single for a long time you start to realize it sucks not having that type of bond with someone else.

There are lots of people that like being single and going out drinking with friends, having flings, and having all that time to themselves. I've been like that but after 5 years of not having a gf it gets VERY worn out and loses it's excitement. I start feeling a little weird when the only times I go out to nice restaurants is when I'm going with my family, then I look around and see all kinds of people around my age out on to eat with their gf or wives.
 
Nope.

I have as much personal freedom as the constitution allows. Maybe I'll want a relationship when I'm older... but I don't know that I'm ready for that kind of responsibility yet. A relationship isn't going to make me any happier, so I might as well stay single.

Been single for the last four years.
 
It sucks sometimes, but their are advantages to being single, I mean you dont have to worry about what the other persons reactions will be, what they want to do, how things will affect your relationship, etc. Being single isnt great but its not the worst thing in the world.
 
There's pros n cons to each aspect. Being on both sides of the coin, I can say I've been happy as either or...I don't think you need a relationship to be happy. It's all your state of mind. I've known people who were in a relationship simply to be in one, in which case they weren't any happier then me being single at the time. Truth be told I think they were unhappy simply because the person they were with, simply wasn't the one they were looking for.
 
There's pros n cons to each aspect. Being on both sides of the coin, I can say I've been happy as either or...I don't think you need a relationship to be happy. It's all your state of mind. I've known people who were in a relationship simply to be in one, in which case they weren't any happier then me being single at the time. Truth be told I think they were unhappy simply because the person they were with, simply wasn't the one they were looking for.

I agree with what you say, but I think that as you get older the pros of a relationship begin to outweigh the cons. I mean, yeah it can suck sometimes feeling like you don't have any freedom, but sooner or later those saturday nights with no date and nowhere to go start to accumulate and boredom sets in.

I mean, it's not big deal until you start getting older and become the single guy that is alone at parties, cookouts, family gatherings, ect. Friends start getting into relationships, some maybe even married and starting families, and then you start to realize you are becoming more and more alone and excluded.

Being single Did Not suck for me back when I was under 25, but over the past few years friends have moved on with their lives and there are less and less people left to hang out with. You also begin to become vey self-aware that others, especially family members, begin to take notice of you being the single one in the family. I hate, passionately hate, when people try to set you up on dates because it is so insulting as if they are implying you are not capable of meeting someone on your own, or as if they are trying to push you into a relationship, but it always is the case when people in relationships insist on playing "match maker."
 
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Nope.

I have as much personal freedom as the constitution allows. Maybe I'll want a relationship when I'm older... but I don't know that I'm ready for that kind of responsibility yet. A relationship isn't going to make me any happier, so I might as well stay single.

Been single for the last four years.

You're young so enjoy the single life for now. It doesn't really start to become uncomfortable until you're in your later 20s and people begin to move on with their lives.
 
You're young so enjoy the single life for now. It doesn't really start to become uncomfortable until you're in your later 20s and people begin to move on with their lives.

Trust me, it's plenty uncomfortable as it is. Watching your old high school friends hook up and leading successful relationships is quite uncomfortable. Its made me feel for years like there's something wrong with me.

Rather than feel that way, its easier to just learn to not want one.
 
My friend and I have both been without gf's for over 5 years now and we were having a discussion the other night and both concluded that it sucks to be single. Just wondering what other people feel about it.
I've been without a legit girlfriend the majority of my life. Its alienating, mostly.
 
Very much. I believe "Being single is great" is just something that people tell themselves to help them get over a breakup.
 
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Very much. I believe "Being single is great" is just something that people tell themselves to help them get over a breakup.



I have believed what you just said to be true for the longest time now. It is merely a defense mechanism typically used by people who have either been hurt or are afraid of getting hurt by getting out there and searching.

I used to believe it myself about being single being awesome. It isn't bad for a little bit. Maybe a year or so being single isn't that bad. It helped me to make smart decisions like leaving my not so great job and returning to college, which I know I never would've decided to do if I was in a relationship and thinking about buying a home and needing money to do things at the time. However, once I got on the right track and the plans were all falling into place, lonliness began to quickly seep in because my goals that I set out to accomplish as a single person had been completed.

I never truly get the reasoning that people have about being single being awesome...like....

getting to do what you want whenever, having more time for friends, more time to yourself...and so on.

To me being single means.....

1. sitting home alone if your friends aren't around,

2. having limited options other than just the same ole shit every week with the same friends over and over again (like the bar scene weekend after weekend),

3. feeling depressed when I go to the take out section of a restaurant to pick of my "meal for one" every friday night to take home and eat alone while watching tv, as I stare into the restaurant and see all these couples around my age enjoyiing themselves
 
Relationship status isn't something to stress yourself out about.

Just go with the flow. If you spend the next 60 years single, then the only thing you can change is whether or not you spend that time depressed, or whether you spend it not giving a shit. The more you focus on it, the less likely it's going to change.

Being single isn't something to be happy, sad, exhilarated, or depressed about. It's just a state of being. You don't get depressed about laying in bed, or sitting in a chair unless you know that you will never leave that chair, or that bed. Being single is not a permanent state of being, and you should never treat it like it is.
 
No, I don't think being single sucks at all. Quite the contrary - I loved it while it lasted. I turned down relationship offers and opportunities because I enjoyed being single. Were it not that my girlfriend is now perfect for me and fulfills me in every aspect, I probably wouldn't be too keen on going into a relationship.

It's just the way I work. The "you need to be in a relationship to be happy" stereotype is nothing but bullshit. Am I happy in a relationship? Yes. Was I happy when I was single? Definitely. Even more happy than most of my friends who WERE in relationships. And I enjoyed the perks that being single has, without really caring much for the supposed 'cons'. Hell, until I met my girlfriend, I thought that those benefits are too good to give up for anyone.

So, from my experience of actively trying to be single for most of my life, being single is definitely a fun and good experience. That isn't to say that having a girlfriend must necessarily suck - but it has to be a really special girl to be worth giving up the benefits.
 
It's all relative and, really, pretty much like anything else a person could want or not want. Being single sucks if you WANT to be in a relationship, just like, say, being a big football fan sucks if your team is the Redskins, or being a factory worker sucks if you'd rather be a karaoke deejay, or being a guy sucks if you'd like to experience childbirth. The trick is, obviously, to either resolve the sucky issue (easier said than done, I totally realize) or else to find ways in your life to compensate for the lack of the thing that you want. But life's all about that anyway: essentially taking the hand you're dealt and winning anyway, whether you wipe everyone else at the table out with a flush or bluff your tail off with a pair of threes. Happiness is revelling in the things you enjoy and somehow either coping with or making up for the things that don't. I wish you the best in any event.
 
I couldn't agree more... we THE SINGLE need to OVERCOME and be VICTORIOUS in counteracting what society says we need to be happy.

I have been single for quite some time and although I have experienced the rush that love can bring, I have also dealt with the heartache as well. ANNND for a long time I closed myself off from the idea of being in a relationship out of fear of being hurt. Well, that was a waste of time and I probably missed out on meeting some nice men. I had to learn to be grateful for the people WHO ARE in my life and not be miserable because of the one who isn't. My relationship with God has helped me through this area of my life, and although I long for a morning snuggle with the one I love, a candle lit dinner and even a sweet slow dance, I know that my heart is being cared for.

It is soooooo hard sometimes to know when a situation is really right,but promise me this.... DON'T SETTLE!!! It's better to remain a whole single person than be part of a relationship that isn't right.

Peace and love to you!
 
Don't do it man! In today's economy all you will end up with is a mountain of debt that can never be bankrupt unless you die or are permanently disabled, and a job working as a server in a restaurant if your lucky.

The only exception is medical jobs.

College is a business, and a scam. They tell people degrees are necessary to earn so much money but it just isn't true; and the likelihood of you landing a job in what you went to school for nowadays is slim to none; but they want you in there so that they are getting paid.

Well, I'm sure it will get me something better than picking 90 pound boxes overnight in a warehouse for a living like I was doing before I went back. I have bad shoulders from doing that for 5 years so basically it was either go finish college or work in a deli at a grocery store for 9 bucks an hour for the rest of my life.

My debt won't be that bad. About 30k spread out over enough years will be less than 200 bucks a month in payments so I should be fine.

PS.....I degree is not worthless. Look at it this way....if people with degrees are taking over the unskilled labor jobs because career jobs aren't available, pretty soon anyone without a degree would be nearly boxed out of the labor force. If people with degrees are taking McJobs then it's probably better to still have a degree than not have anything and wind up not even employable at the local 7/11 in the near future because Johnny Motivation is fresh out of college with a business degree and gets hired over a high school grad for the counter clerk position.
 
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I never really been one for "idealistic" relationships. I like to have fun and keep it at that, when I'm ready to settle down I'll definitely hate to be single but I don't see me slowing down any time soon.
 
Just another part of life. You make it suck by focusing on the negatives.
 
To me being single is only bad when your feeling lonely the rest of the time its not that bad, you have more freedom. While being in a relationship fixes the lonely part it restricts what you can do and depending on the person can be a lot of work. The worst part is that more often than not, all the effort you spent on that relationship was a waste of time when it eventually dose ends.(in my opinion anyway.) Basically being single isn't that bad.:sleep1:
 
My friend and I have both been without gf's for over 5 years now and we were having a discussion the other night and both concluded that it sucks to be single. Just wondering what other people feel about it.

People being single isn't a curse. Take that time to talk to several girls, get to know them, maybe go out on a nice date with them and have fun (not sleep and just have sex) respect women and they will come. Respect goes a long way with anyone.
 
To me being single is only bad when your feeling lonely the rest of the time its not that bad, you have more freedom. While being in a relationship fixes the lonely part it restricts what you can do and depending on the person can be a lot of work. The worst part is that more often than not, all the effort you spent on that relationship was a waste of time when it eventually dose ends.(in my opinion anyway.) Basically being single isn't that bad.:sleep1:

Not to be a jerk, but everyone says how great the "freedom" is about being single. What exactly are you doing with all this amazing free time? I've had it for nearly 6 years. How awesome is that freedom when you are sitting home alone on a friday night, or spent the 50th straight weekend at the bar with the same group of single friends with the same stories over and over and over again.
 
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