eHarmony

[AnimeWatcher1]

This might sound silly, but I've been curious about eHarmony. I dunno about their commercials- sometimes you just can't trust that (they could get people who are already married- or heck just strangers together and make them act), but I'm curious if it would be a good idea to check it out. What I mean is pay (not that free crap. Same results, from what I've seen from me, my sis and a few friends- "Sorry can't find anyone who matches you! Don't you feel like a reject? HAR HAR!" to anyone who tries that free test) and see if I can't get a match there.

Anyone have any info they can give if it'd be worth a shot? Know anyone whose met and gotten into a happy relationship thanks to it? Advice would be welcome.

 

[Timewarp]

Yeah...stick to face to face encounters. The internets lie!!!

(This will be a deadly year for radish)

 

[AnimeWatcher1]

I try, but that's kindof hard for me in college. Everyone is taken! (literally- steady bf or married! GAH)

Plus I'm kindof shy around girls if I had to ask if 'you wanna go out for some coffee or something'. Not been a strong side, and even getting past my anti-social disorders I still never got past that. Can talk to a girl, jus can't make any moves on her-eh heh.

 

[kopfhorer1]

I think of personal ads, on or off-line, as kind of an Hieronymous-Bosch-ian circus in which everyone seeking companionship of any kind (everything from one-shot sexual encounters to traditional marriage) is cast as a clown. Just my two cents' worth, your mileage may vary.

I have heard that e-harmony doesn't allow you to filter results yourself (according to geographical area, age, etc.), that the system does it all for you according to pre-set parameters whether you want it that way or not.

 

[AnimeWatcher1]

By cast as a clown, are you implying they are farse or just silly to do?

These rumors, where did you hear them from? Do you mean to say I won't be able to browse people except for what results I am given, and that's it? Does it even take the answers I gave into calculation? Or are you saying the results may be out there, like it'll find people clear across the globe that I'm compatible with?

 

[a1532b]

It doesn't work at all. Just for kicks I tried it once and filled out their 8 billion question survey. It said I'm unique and there are no matches available and to try again in the future. Show's what It knows, I'm the most compatible person on earth! 😀

 

[cletus-factor]

Eharmony is not a complete farse, but let's us just say that the odds of true love on there depends on such astronomical odds, and also on you that I wouldn't pay them their subscription fee. Nor would I pay the other sites any money ever again. Whereas as I just stated Eharmony MIGHT work, match.com and those others do not.

Eharmony puts you through this big long survey and then they start hooking you up with people. The only 2 problems with the site IMO are this: 1. they do not let you see what the other person looks like. Call me square, but at 25 yo I do not want to be dating the hunchback of notre dame or for that matter someone who is overweight. 2. The matches will almost never talk back to you, either because A) they are not members of the site and so can't, or B) because the site is a farse, I'm not sure which yet. And I had a profile on there for almost a year, didn't pay or anything, but twice they had a free communication weekend. I had like 10 matches. I wrote to them all, and got maybe 1 reply. So think of these things at best as like people's email accounts. How many people do you know who are on top of checking their emails every day?

Meet people face to face. I'm in the same boat, but I will be a hypocrite (well sorta). I have one hell of a time talking to beautiful girls. No trouble at all talking to anyone else. If you're ready to meet The One you'll need to overcome your problems because you're not a worthy mate until you do (sucks, but that's the rules of the game). Girls (or guys) don't want someone who is a loser with an L. Not that you or I are losers, but you know what they say, I don't want no scrub. (who sings that song btw?) Right now, myself, I'm kinda screwed in getting with anyone not just because of my problem, but because I have to live with my grandparents to stay afloat financially while going to college. So, after thinking for a while last fall that it was about time that I met someone because I'm 25, this spring I realized maybe it's not time just yet actually because I can't afford a relationship (literrally).

So to summarize, DO NOT pay for dating sites, they are a big waste of money, which you will need to take a girl out and treat her right with. If you have a great personality, (ie you're not a scrub) once you get over your fear of rejection or whatever it is that is holding you back from a face to face encounter, you'll be fine. Just make sure you'll be a catch first.

 

[AnimeWatcher1]

a1532b: Actually, thats how it always is. It's just letting you know if you actually want results- you gotta pay.

Cletus: Such wise words. I thought though eHarmony did have picture viewing- but you've got more experience than I do. I do think it's abit extreme and harsh though to say having troubles talking to 'The One' or anyone else you wanna go steady with = you're not a worthy mate. But I respect your opinion and I can say as well that I have difficulty talking to people I find attractive and wanna go out with.

I also respect your take on bunking with your grandparents. You make a valid point- if financing college is hard, having a lover ontop of that will put you over the edge. I can safely say I am a catch- lots of people, mostly girls, have given me high marks. You're right though- rejection is truly my biggest fear; something I still am trying hard to overcome but am having a lot of difficulty. Plus I feel like my lifestyle, especially my fetishes, are huge hindrances and curses- as they can easily play a negative role in the relationship field.

Thanks Cletus for your advice. 🙂

 

[cletus-factor]

Aye, it was a bit harsh...You may just find a girl who likes a shy guy OR (this will sound harsh too) you might just find someone with lowered expectations. Okay well, either that or you may not get what YOU want out of life. It's easy to preach, and hard to do. I too feel that my fetishes are going to be seen as weird and erego I will have no luck. But, I have seen numerous posts here from women who like what this forum is all about and I have seen many a man post here in response to such thoughts, saying that they had no real trouble with a girl about these things.

If anyone can suggest a book to AnimeWatcher and myself about how to talk to beautiful women, it would be much appreciated.

 

[AnimeWatcher1]

Well, women who are like that are normally snatched up quickly if they post here in the tickle community (and are single and looking). Just wondering if you knew what ages these men and women were who talked about this-

Yours and my fetishes might be considered less offensive or odd the older you get, as people don't judge as much; however the late teens and twenties women (and men) are still very opinionated and easy to look down upon such practices. It's hard to talk to a girl whom I want to tickle (not like thats all I ever think about) because I know if she finds out, chances are good our friendship will get odd and might decline- lessening the chances of courtship.

IMO I think it's worse having a foot fetish, as a LOT of women dislike their feet, dislike having their feet touched, or dislike feet in general. Add tickling into that and them finding out both things can get me excited is just adding more logs to the fire, least that's what I think. 😕 I would say that is where the real problem lies. If I didn't have these fetishes, I'd probably be more outgoing and have more of a nerve when asking a girl out. I dunno though if it's the same with you, Cletus.

As you asked though, i would love to see someone point out a book for people like us on courting a lady. However, I don't know if the books would ever cover things like this- they'd probably be more general and not take into account whether or not you have fetishes.

 

[cletus-factor]

Yeah I don't know. Seems there are girls out there our age who like this sorta stuff or where do they find these models?