English is a strange language

[drew70]

Can you read these right the first time?

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
   
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
   
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
   
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
   
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
   
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
   
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
   
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
   
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
   
10. I did not object to the object.
    
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
    
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    
18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    
19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    
20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

One last point, and then I'll drop it. Can anybody tell me why Buick doesn't rhyme with quick?

 

[Newcastle Uni]

It is weird and crazy I agree! Only one example of the absurduity of the English language strikes me right now

Flammable and Inflammable mean the same thing

 

[mark 19]

English is a strange language because how things are spelt depends on where you are in the world. This is why computers make you pick English (UK) or English (US), strange though that they don’t have an English (Wales) as this is the one that differs the most from any other and is hardest to understand.

 

[mark 19]

^ No offence intended to the welsh only joking 😀 , I think Newcastle Uni’s sense of humour is starting to rub of on me.

 

[milagros317]

Very interesting and amusing, Drew70. 😀

 

[Newcastle Uni]

^ No offence intended to the welsh only joking 😀 , I think Newcastle Uni’s sense of humour is starting to rub of on me.

They've heard worse

 

[steph]

Have you ever watched Gallagher and seen his bit on this? Too funny!

When I was a kid, my pop had a good friend who worked as a translator. She was fluent in about7 languages including Russian and Chinese. She said of all the languages she'd studied, English was the hardest, because there were SO many exceptions to the rules...
XOXO

 

[goddess_nemesis]

That's really interesting. I've thought about this before too.
But y'know, there are strange people in this world so why not a strange language. LOL!
It's funny. And no wonder English is considered the hardest language to learn especially American English.
My friend is hosting a foreign exchange student from Spain and she says American English is way different than English English and is confusing sometimes.

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

Here's are words I've found to be interesting:

bomb
comb
tomb
all end with 'omb' but all sound differently.

tough
though
through
all end in 'ough'

A boy writes to a company:
"Dear Sir, Please send me two mongooses."
But that didn't sound right.
"Dear Sir, Please send me two mongeese."
But that didn't sound right either.
"Dear Sir, Please send me a mongoose, and while you're at it, send me another one."

Ray

 

[Limeoutsider]

A boy writes to a company:
"Dear Sir, Please send me two mongooses."
But that didn't sound right.
"Dear Sir, Please send me two mongeese."
But that didn't sound right either.
"Dear Sir, Please send me a mongoose, and while you're at it, send me another one."

Ray

souds like someting Id do