So I've been hovering around this site for awhile, enjoying the discussions, considering posting, then reconsidering. Let's see if this one makes it. Like many others I see on here, I've had a "thing" for tickling since early on. For me, it's very sexual. There really isn't any such thing as playful tickling for me, because I get aroused when tickled. I'm much more ticklish when restrained. I think I would like to tickle as much as be tickled, but just haven't really done so. I'm married and my dh and I do not tickle. We used to, a little bit, but never the way I'd fantasize. I had a bf in college who woke me up to the tied and tickled thing. Now here's the thing that I would like to hear opinions on. While I very much would like to be involved in a tickling/sexual relationship, I'm hesitant for it to be with my husband. I sort of feel that giving him that sort of power over me would make daily life uncomfortable. After 12 years of marriage, certain things are just duller than they were. How do I spend a night writhing under his fingers, then ask the next day if he paid the electric bill? We've done light b&d scenarios (though not in a few years) but I never gave him any hints what tickling might do to me. Now I find myself wanting it and thinking maybe I should just find a tickle partner other than my husband. So, strangers in cyberland, am I just a freak with intimacy issues, or does anyone else feel this way?
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Everyday life
- Thread starter lk70
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Stevereeno
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Where is the commnunication between you and the husband? You have been married for 12 years, and instead of working together and communicating with your husband on how to spice up the sex life, you would rather another man spice the sex life up (just because of tickling?). This husband obviously can't read your mind or indirect communication. Maybe you should try talking to your husband about tickling and how to turn the electricity back on, first. Exhaust all options before moving on, so when you look back on this experience, there are no "if onlys".
I'm a bit confused about being uncomfortable with everyday life after nights of tickling. Does it have to do with areas of authority within the marriage?
My wife is very dominating in every aspect of our life with the exception of what goes on in the bedroom. This works quite well for us because the more she acts like a marine drill sergeant in everyday life, the more my desire grows to tickle it out of her a few days later. She has no problem resuming the dominate role the next morning even after a night of promising anything to me just for a few seconds of rest in between long bouts of hysteria, and I'm more than happy to let her start the cycle all over again!
The key really is respect & communication. It doesn't have to be an up front discussion to lay out all the rules. Just get things started, and respectfully work out the details as they come up later.
Good Luck - Darv
My wife is very dominating in every aspect of our life with the exception of what goes on in the bedroom. This works quite well for us because the more she acts like a marine drill sergeant in everyday life, the more my desire grows to tickle it out of her a few days later. She has no problem resuming the dominate role the next morning even after a night of promising anything to me just for a few seconds of rest in between long bouts of hysteria, and I'm more than happy to let her start the cycle all over again!
The key really is respect & communication. It doesn't have to be an up front discussion to lay out all the rules. Just get things started, and respectfully work out the details as they come up later.
Good Luck - Darv
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Hello lk70,
Welcome to the TMF! I have little to add to what several of the above posters said (In fact one of them said exactly the thing I said to another woman a few months back who had a simillar issue) but all I can stress is that communication with your husband is probably the key issue here. You've done light d/s play in the past, and this is not much of a departure. The main issue will be how you feel about the power exchange aspect of the play. From your letter it seems as if there might be an issue with submissiveness to your hubby in the bedroom spilling into other aspects of your life. Thats where you'll need to look and think first...
Myriads
Welcome to the TMF! I have little to add to what several of the above posters said (In fact one of them said exactly the thing I said to another woman a few months back who had a simillar issue) but all I can stress is that communication with your husband is probably the key issue here. You've done light d/s play in the past, and this is not much of a departure. The main issue will be how you feel about the power exchange aspect of the play. From your letter it seems as if there might be an issue with submissiveness to your hubby in the bedroom spilling into other aspects of your life. Thats where you'll need to look and think first...
Myriads
