Fantasy Versus Reality

[Soles_Scream]

For better or worse, when it comes to discussion forums I tend to assume threads and replies that I read to be at face value. This can be problematic when I read a thread or comment from someone whom English is not among their strongest languages for example.

If someone were to post “I’d love to tickle someone and ignore their safe words,” I could see that maybe they are talking about a fantasy scenario. Since I don’t share that fantasy, I’d move on without comment.

However, if they were to post “have you every tickled someone and ignored their safe words,” then I’d approach the topic accordingly.

Given that tone and intent are not clear in a textual format, what I should do instead of jumping into something is to ask further clarification questions rather than fire off assuming the intent.

This takes time though, so perhaps I might consider responding in a matter that addresses under fantasy circumstances X and reality circumstances Y.

I’m not trying to kill the buzz of someone whose talking about their fantasies (I’ll assume that is the realm with which the proposed scenario remains), I am concerned that some posters or folks replying cannot separate fantasy and reality based on their word usage.

Yes it can be hot to imagine tickling a random complete stranger that one is physically attracted to in a movie theater (referencing a fiction story here on the forum), but would be depraved at minimum to actually attempt in real life.

 

[WickedTouch]

For better or worse, when it comes to discussion forums I tend to assume threads and replies that I read to be at face value. This can be problematic when I read a thread or comment from someone whom English is not among their strongest languages for example.

If someone were to post “I’d love to tickle someone and ignore their safe words,” I could see that maybe they are talking about a fantasy scenario. Since I don’t share that fantasy, I’d move on without comment.

However, if they were to post “have you every tickled someone and ignored their safe words,” then I’d approach the topic accordingly.

Given that tone and intent are not clear in a textual format, what I should do instead of jumping into something is to ask further clarification questions rather than fire off assuming the intent.

This takes time though, so perhaps I might consider responding in a matter that addresses under fantasy circumstances X and reality circumstances Y.

I’m not trying to kill the buzz of someone whose talking about their fantasies (I’ll assume that is the realm with which the proposed scenario remains), I am concerned that some posters or folks replying cannot separate fantasy and reality based on their word usage.

Yes it can be hot to imagine tickling a random complete stranger that one is physically attracted to in a movie theater (referencing a fiction story here on the forum), but would be depraved at minimum to actually attempt in real life.

I agree—it can be difficult to determine where people are coming from sometimes. What I optimistically believe I’ve gleaned from countless conversations over the years is that most people are leaning into their fantasies, and separate that from their behavior in the real world. That being said, the occasional outlier does absolutely convince me they are either confused about where fantasy and reality begin and end, or don’t care. I’ve tried to take the approach of engaging with these things on my own moral terms. So, if I’m responding to someone who I’m not sure where they’re coming from, I take the responsibility of stating the context of my response (i.e. what is fantasy and what is reality), and clarify with them if necessary.

Probably the most frequent and frustrating thing I run into is when people live in fantasy without declaring it, essentially throwing people into a non-consensual role play or something similar. They’ll tell disturbing stories that didn’t happen, try to get you to tell them what you would do to someone, or anything else they can act out to get off to. Initially it makes it very difficult to tell how serious they are and whether this is just a fantasy game they are playing or if you’ve encountered someone that needs intervention. I think some people have been so led into believing that the internet is not real life in any way, that they end up behaving that way with strangers they encounter online without concern for them or the implication of their actions. While I think it’s okay to have some of those fantasies, I think it can really mess with others if they don’t know they are fantasy, and it can definitely hurt the greater tickling community by seeding distrust, unease, and a sense that finding safe play partners is unlikely or too risky.

 

[Soles_Scream]

I agree—it can be difficult to determine where people are coming from sometimes. What I optimistically believe I’ve gleaned from countless conversations over the years is that most people are leaning into their fantasies, and separate that from their behavior in the real world. That being said, the occasional outlier does absolutely convince me they are either confused about where fantasy and reality begin and end, or don’t care. I’ve tried to take the approach of engaging with these things on my own moral terms. So, if I’m responding to someone who I’m not sure where they’re coming from, I take the responsibility of stating the context of my response (i.e. what is fantasy and what is reality), and clarify with them if necessary.

Probably the most frequent and frustrating thing I run into is when people live in fantasy without declaring it, essentially throwing people into a non-consensual role play or something similar. They’ll tell disturbing stories that didn’t happen, try to get you to tell them what you would do to someone, or anything else they can act out to get off to. Initially it makes it very difficult to tell how serious they are and whether this is just a fantasy game they are playing or if you’ve encountered someone that needs intervention. I think some people have been so led into believing that the internet is not real life in any way, that they end up behaving that way with strangers they encounter online without concern for them or the implication of their actions. While I think it’s okay to have some of those fantasies, I think it can really mess with others if they don’t know they are fantasy, and it can definitely hurt the greater tickling community by seeding distrust, unease, and a sense that finding safe play partners is unlikely or too risky.

Agree with all of this, especially your last few sentences.

 

[SoleMates]

This used to happen to me a lot on Instagram. I'd get random DMs from people wanting to send me pictures of random women-slash-celebrities and be like, "This is my cousin, she's really ticklish, you should ambush her at her next public appearance and tell me how it went."

I always assume they're being serious, because the one time you don't and they are and you just encouraged some creep to do something violating, you have a problem. Especially since there are a non-insignificant amount of people here who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

It is, if you'll excuse the pun, a touchy subject.

 

[Ghostwriter727]

I've been around TMF forums almost since its inception and when I respond, or comment on certain topics such as ticking scenarios or reactions; I literally think in my head like I'm still a young twenty something year old dude at a party.

I'm older, wiser, more experienced, and far better at voicing my thoughts now(reality), but for intense topics my brain seems to want to answer the post as if I were still that twenty something year old party animal(fantasy), and I'm not.

Its interesting how the mind works sometimes.
We wish to look in the mirror and see the same young, capable, energetic, and determined spirit that we once were (fantasy), but in reality; our circumstance and appearances have changed quite a bit.

Other people might see theirselves as avatars, stories, animals, or some complex being that must endure this world with other less sophisticated humanoids. Clearly fantasy 😂

Separating fantasy from reality seems like it should be a simple concept, but in these technologically advanced times I think many people live in a perpetual fantasy state, and it takes our communicating to a level that isn't always obvious, or apparent.

Wild times we are living in isn't it. 😂
Great topic.🍻

 

[WickedTouch]

This used to happen to me a lot on Instagram. I'd get random DMs from people wanting to send me pictures of random women-slash-celebrities and be like, "This is my cousin, she's really ticklish, you should ambush her at her next public appearance and tell me how it went."

I always assume they're being serious, because the one time you don't and they are and you just encouraged some creep to do something violating, you have a problem. Especially since there are a non-insignificant amount of people here who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

It is, if you'll excuse the pun, a touchy subject.

Oh man, I've gotten messages just like this on discord. Eventually I ended up blocking the guy and maybe a year later accepted a message from a new user. Same guy, same girl, same pictures of the girl, and same story. It's just such a bizarre thing to do.

 

[Navegazer11]

For better or worse, when it comes to discussion forums I tend to assume threads and replies that I read to be at face value. This can be problematic when I read a thread or comment from someone whom English is not among their strongest languages for example.

If someone were to post “I’d love to tickle someone and ignore their safe words,” I could see that maybe they are talking about a fantasy scenario. Since I don’t share that fantasy, I’d move on without comment.

However, if they were to post “have you every tickled someone and ignored their safe words,” then I’d approach the topic accordingly.

Given that tone and intent are not clear in a textual format, what I should do instead of jumping into something is to ask further clarification questions rather than fire off assuming the intent.

This takes time though, so perhaps I might consider responding in a matter that addresses under fantasy circumstances X and reality circumstances Y.

I’m not trying to kill the buzz of someone whose talking about their fantasies (I’ll assume that is the realm with which the proposed scenario remains), I am concerned that some posters or folks replying cannot separate fantasy and reality based on their word usage.

Yes it can be hot to imagine tickling a random complete stranger that one is physically attracted to in a movie theater (referencing a fiction story here on the forum), but would be depraved at minimum to actually attempt in real life.

I wonder how much of it, too, is the Internet based society we have now, versus day-to-day interactions with real life people? If you spend the majority of your day, interacting with people online, or even fantasizing online, rather than meaningful human interaction, face-to-face, I can see where it could definitely give you a skewed perspective on how to interact.