Favourite Homer Simpson Lines

[socksoff]

In honor of the 350th Episode Tonight:
He's one of mine:

"Maggie!! You're Blocking the TV! Get that Moldy Old Bear out of here!.......
.........MOLDY!!!!!!............OLD!!!!!!..........I'm gettin' something to EAT!!!!!"


Feel free to add yours!!!!!!

 

[Newcastle Uni]

Is the Simpsons Past It?

Hey everyone!

Does anyone still like the Simpsons? For me it has consistently been one of my favourite shows of the last decade, but most of the newer episodes made over the last several years seem pretty rubbish. Characters behave in ways that they shouldn't, plot lines become more and more far-fetched and ridiculous, the jokes become less and less satirical and crude and its almost as if they've run out of ideas and are just churning out shows to make an easy buck. I cannot stand to watch the Simpsons anymore (unless it is one of the earlier episodes, which were almost always brilliant). Does anyone agree with me? If you disagree, tell me why. But I think they've had a "Jumping the Shark" moment and i think they jumped the shark several years ago.

For those of you that are not familiar with the phrase "Jumping the Shark", it comes from an episode of Happy Days (fifth series i think back in the late '70s) where the fonz jumps over a shark in one of the cheesiest and most ridiculous plots ever. From that moment on it was clear that the show had reached its peak and that it would all be downhill from there.

 

[socksoff]

Yes,Yes,Yes, Newcastle Uni! The shows are not as good most times now!

.....but do you have a favourite Homer Simpson Line from the "glory days"?

 

[Soda83pop]

"Oooooh...they have the Internet on computer now"

For some reason, that one always makes me laugh.

 

[ticklishdesires]

"I can't take his money! I can't print my own money! I have to work for money! Why don't I just lay down and die?"

- From the episode where Arnie Ziff tries to take Marge from Homer

 

[Newcastle Uni]

This is a good one....

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

 

[Newcastle Uni]

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad.!?
Homer: Can I go now?

 

[Newcastle Uni]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

 

[Newcastle Uni]

Some of these quotes are pure genius


Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.
Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning



Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute




Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!




Homer: Awww... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo hoo!

 

[socksoff]

"Well! I hope [Sideshow] Bob fed you ..'cause I ate your dinners!"

 

[socksoff]

Bart reading a speech Homer wrote:

Bart:"I money need bad ...me sick!"
Homer: "Oh!!! he card read good!"

 

[dman68]

Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably, the lesson is never try.

 

[Dave2112]

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand!"

"I take a vodka drink, I take a whiskey drink; and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink..."

"Oh Lisa...fairies are made-up things, like Leprechauns and Eskimos!"

"Donuts...is there anything they can't cure?"

"I'm alone! A lonely speck on an insignificant planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!"

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.


Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.


Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.


Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

 

[unclebill]

Trying is the first step towards failure.

 

[Cav88]

Homer: Boy, one time I didn't get my way. So I held my breath and banged my head until I did.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

 

[TMF Jeff]

Homer: "What's lucky using?"
Nurse: "An iron lung, it breathes for him."
Homer: "...and here I am using my own lungs like a sucker!"

and, the ones I quote the most, for no good reason:
Mmmmm, floor pie!
and
Mmmm, unexplained bacon!

 

[tickledorange]

*Flintstones tune, sung by Homer*

Simpson, Homer Simson
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.

 

[socksoff]

Cav88 wrote:Homer: Boy, one time I didn't get my way. So I held my breath and banged my head until I did.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

.

Like the way Homer says: I like Stories

Homer: COBRAS!! COBRAS!!!!!!!

 

[socksoff]

Homer: Does this this job pay alot!!??
Lenny: No!
Homer: D'oh!!!!!!!!!
The other guy:Unless you're Crooked!
Homer:Whoo Hooo!!!!!!!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

*Ned invites Homer into his home*

*Mod makes sandwiches for the both of them*

"I thought you boys might be hungry, so I made you up some club sandwiches."- Mod

"Oh dear, you didn't have to do that!"- Ned

"I know." (Ned and Mod get affectionate for a moment and Mod leaves)

"This quaint beer came all the way from Holand!"- Flanders (showing Homer his rumpus room complete with bar)

"Well, beggers can't be choosey."- Homer (starts drinking the beer Flanders poured him then burps)

*Tod walks in with his science project*

"Daddy, thanks for helping me with my science project!"- Tod (to Ned)

"My pleasure my little study-buddy!"- Ned

"You're the best dad in the whole world!"- Tod

"Oh come on now son...you know how that embarasses me!"- Ned

"*giggle* I know, toodaly doodaly!"- Tod (Tod leaves)

"*sighs* Kids can be such a trial sometimes..."- Ned (to Homer)

"ALRIGHT FLANDERS, KNOCK IT OFF!"- Homer (Homer can no longer hold in his jealousy and contempt for Ned)

"Knock what off Simpson?..."- Ned ( innocently puzzled)

"You've been rubbing my nose in it ever since I got here! YOUR family is better than MY family! YOUR beer comes from FARTHER away than MY beer, YOU and YOUR son LIKE eachother, YOUR wife's butt is HIGHER than MY wife's butt! YOU MAKE ME SICK!"- Homer

"Simpson, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave! I hope you understand..."- Ned

"I WOULDN'T STAY ON A BET!"- Homer *finishes off his beer and starts storming off*

*Homer comes back for another sandwich*

"One for the road!"- Homer (leaves)