Feel guilty about being sad?

[ichbins]

Hi everyone

Well, in my life, it has been like this and like this. Sometimes I have very happy times, especially with good friends, but then there are evenings like this, where I'm home, alone, feeling kind of sad. And i have this tendency to sometimes compare myself to other people, and if I see that they are happy, I feel sort of guilty, for having more sad times than others, or maybe so it seems. How to do this less? How have you learned to concentrate on yourself and not give too much attention to others lifes?

Greetings!

 

[tickle gamer]

Hi Ichbins! Trust me. I hear what you're saying. I go through a lot of the same feelings.

I don't really know how to feel them less, but. I can tell you it is good to find a "safe space" to let your feelings out. I, myself, am still looking for my "Safe Space" .

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Personally I've always had a difficult time doing for myself knowing that I could help someone else first, that goes back as far as I can remember. I do try to keep my mind occupied on happier times in my life. It seems like everywhere I turn something or someone triggers a much unhappier moment in my life whether it's a particular name a picture that I stubble across etc. I understand exactly how you feel I certainly hope it works out for you.

 

[duderino84]

I decided years ago when life starting eating at me I'd do two things:

1. Remind myself if I don't look forward and try to live my best life (whatever best is, it's a subjective word) so I don't age with memories of focusing on being miserable.
2. Learn something new. Try to improve. Enroll in a course. Hell, do you know you get free shit just for signing up? Look up Microsoft imagine for instance. Free Windows licenses for your name being on a school roster, essentially.

 

[Bohemianne]

You must be aware that in social media, people only show off their best and happiest sides. FB championed it. People would rarely show the ugly side of their lives. Narcissism is winning in this age. If we all succumb to that, the next generation would be a world of depressed and low self-esteemed community.

Duderino is right. Learn something new instead of wallowing in your own sad thoughts.

 

[4Pawz]

You must be aware that in social media, people only show off their best and happiest sides. FB championed it. People would rarely show the ugly side of their lives.

So much this! No one's life it perfect. We all have rough times. But being able to focus on you is a skill that takes time, but it's worth it. Taking the time to figure out what would make you happy. Then set small, attainable goals. This way you are able to see progress and reward

 

[Tenebrae]

You must be aware that in social media, people only show off their best and happiest sides. FB championed it. People would rarely show the ugly side of their lives. Narcissism is winning in this age. If we all succumb to that, the next generation would be a world of depressed and low self-esteemed community.

Duderino is right. Learn something new instead of wallowing in your own sad thoughts.

Perfect response

 

[ichbins]

Thanks everyone for the kind and useful responses!

I do try to do new things, sometimes it's hard, and it's always hard to get out there. But I like the thought, that, if you are sad, don't stay but look forward, march forward, life goes on until the good times come back again.

 

[Edge]

You must be aware that in social media, people only show off their best and happiest sides. FB championed it. People would rarely show the ugly side of their lives. Narcissism is winning in this age. If we all succumb to that, the next generation would be a world of depressed and low self-esteemed community.

Duderino is right. Learn something new instead of wallowing in your own sad thoughts.

100% agree. I think that a big part of why so many of us these days are seemingly depressed is because of social media. We all go on FB and see "Wow my old classmate found the most perfect beautiful woman and has 2 kids and a house and I have...my dog." We compare to others. Big mistake. Most people show only the positives. I've learned to be grateful for the things I have...my mom, my dog, a few good friends, great coworkers, a job I love, the ability to go running every day etc.
Now that's not to say I wouldn't be grateful to find a ticklish woman....

 

[Edge]

By the way for the poster of this thread I found writing as a hobby that helps me sorta express how I feel in a safe/fun way with no consequences (don't have to let anyone read it).

 

[tickle gamer]

By the way for the poster of this thread I found writing as a hobby that helps me sorta express how I feel in a safe/fun way with no consequences (don't have to let anyone read it).

Totally agree with this. Writing can be a great way to get rid of stress also. But, be warned. You may start feeling the stress of the blank page at times as well.

 

[KitzelPixie]

I live with depression and it often makes me feel like I'm being "ungrateful" for not being happy. I have most of my basic needs kinda met, I have no reason to be sad...yet I am. It's hard to do, but it's best to be gentle with yourself and not punish yourself for having natural feelings. Creative outlets are fantastic!