Female and Male Prayers

[JPie1]

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to hit on my friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the guy you sent me instead.
Amen.
> > >

MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a
liquor store.
Amen

 

[His Divine Shadow]

LOL!!😀 😀 We males ask for so little...

 

[Iggy pop]

You mean there are chicks out there with big boobs that own liquor stores. Why can't I meet a girl like that?

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Because they always get snapped up within seconds of becoming owners of the stores. We males are ALWAYS watching.

 

[Limeoutsider]

All I pray for is a different job, more money, a different job, Lance Bass, the Indians to win the world series, not much....

 

[milagros317]

the Indians to win the world series, ....

Hasn't even happened in my lifetime, Lime. And I'm 53.

(Note to people who don't follow baseball: The Cleveland Indians last won the World Series in 1948. They've been in it but lost twice since then, 1954 and 1997).

 

[AffectionateDan]

CORRECTION!

MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a
liquor store.
Amen

That ought to read "A super-ticklish nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store." If she's mute, how could a tickler enjoy her laughter? Boob size not manditory, but encouraged. And for those few of us that aren't lushes, the liquor store is optional. Hee! 😛

 

[dig dug dog]

Not bad, JPie, not bad. But what about being TICKLISH??

lol,

dig dug

 

[His Divine Shadow]

It must be assumed that she is.

 

[Limeoutsider]

Hasn't even happened in my lifetime, Lime. And I'm 53.

(Note to people who don't follow baseball: The Cleveland Indians last won the World Series in 1948. They've been in it but lost twice since then, 1954 and 1997).

Thats why I added 'not much' to the end of my post

 

[sushi854]

I'd say you have a better chance with Lance Bass than the Indians have of winning the World Series.

ps they also lost in 1995

 

[Limeoutsider]

I'd say you have a better chance with Lance Bass than the Indians have of winning the World Series.

ps they also lost in 1995

I know, you dont have to rub it in now