Honestly Red, I don't even get what that's supposed to mean at this point.
It means what the words say. Tortuga stated that she doesn't have to defend her decision, and she certainly doesn't. However when a whole lot of people "overreact" to what you say, it's likely that the cause is not them, and it is perhaps not an overreaction. She doesn't have to offer any defense at all, but neither should she be surprised, offended, or dismissive at the response she got to the words she chose.
I'm part of FL because I am an experienced submissive apart of the BDSM lifestyle, I'm into things that I would say about 90% of the people here have never tried or thought of doing. People there understand more of what I'm into. If I came here and said I'm looking someone that into fireplay, you all would back away slowly.
I would be part of the "all" she was generalizing about there. Like Tortuga, I am on Fetlife because I am "experienced." As a matter of fact, if the age on her profile is accurate then I've got about half again as much experience with BDSM as she has with breathing. So I guess "experienced" is relative.
And, contrary to her sweeping generalizations, I would normally be very interested in someone who liked fireplay. Not in this case, but normally. Matter of fact, I don't see anything about urethral sounds, floggers, or canes, so there may very well be things I'm interested in that would cause her to "back away slowly."
Kink compatibility and experience aren't the sort of thing I base friendship decisions on, however.
Here's the thing. If I wanted to keep my kink and tickling lives separate then I might phrase it something like this:
"I know that not everyone shares my kinks, and that's fine, no one else has to. But I talk about things on Fetlife that I don't want to share with people who aren't familiar with them, or whom I don't at least personally know. That's why I talk about tickling here, for example.
"So if you send me a friendship request on FL I'm not going to accept it unless I know you in real life or there's a substantial amount of overlap in our kink interests. That's not personal, and not about whether you're 'kinky enough to be my friend' or anything like that. It's just about the degree of similarity in the things we like."
This makes the decision purely about my interests and needs, and not about the degree of experience of anyone here, or about any sort of "qualification." And that may well be what she meant. What she said, though, came across as "you people here are too inexperienced and easily offended to associate with me on Fetlife." That got peoples' backs up, and understandably so.
