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For Lers: Is not being ticklish enough an 'ugly' trait?

Inverse

Inverse

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I ask this question for lers, and lees who'd like to offer their personal viewpoint on this issue. I'm not as ticklish as I'd like to be. Not really, and it's something that has... well~ it's really bugged me for years. I used to be really ticklish when I was little. I knew what it felt like to thrash and wiggle and desperately need to escape the tickle attacks of others.

Yet as I got older, I just lost a lot of it. It still tickles, and I still smile and laugh~ but I can hold still. I can turn to the side and 'take it', and~ that's not fun for me. I've seen the light go out of tickler's eyes when they see how not-ticklish I really am, and~ it's... it just empties my heart. I feel like, no matter how cute I am, or how attractive I was once at a point, I'm suddenly a disappointment.

Tickling isn't EVERYTHING, really, I know but~ in that brief moment where it was... everything, I feel like nothing. I'm still a switch, and I love tickling~ but as a 'ler, when I tickle someone, I so desperately crave sometimes what they have. What they've been given... and it feels like, like I was born with some kind of, handicap or defect. Like, something ugly I can never really change. There's nothing I can do to make myself more ticklish.

Fantasy stories have their tickle potions and powders~ and magic. Yet there is no magic pill to make me ticklish. Not like I want to be. I have one life to live, you know, and I have to 'settle' with this, and it sucks. I just wonder, for ticklers~ is this a trait that you find, irreparably disheartening in a partner? Is it something that can kill your interest in them completely?

I'm happy that I have this fetish, and that I ever got a chance to know what it felt like in the first place to be tickled out of your mind. <3 But~ if I have to see that look in someone's eyes after they've really wanted to tickle me again, I think I'll implode. *laughs~* <\3
 
Not ugly....no, but it's not desireable to me. As a Switch I prefer my Ler to be moderately to extremely ticklish. I would not break up with them or simply rule it out if they weren't. 🙂
 
Not a chance would it kill my interest in them completely. But that's just me. If you're recognizing the light go out of their eyes when they find out you're not quite as sensitive as they originally wanted you to be, that person was expecting much too much and tickling was what it was ALL about for them. Not you as a person. One should gauge their partner and accept them as they are. Then adjust. 🙂
 
-Eh. A refusal to try new things with me, close-mindedness, judgmental people, those are ugly traits.
 
Inverse said:
Yet as I got older, I just lost a lot of it. It still tickles, and I still smile and laugh~ but I can hold still. I can turn to the side and 'take it', and~ that's not fun for me. I've seen the light go out of tickler's eyes when they see how not-ticklish I really am, and~ it's... it just empties my heart. I feel like, no matter how cute I am, or how attractive I was once at a point, I'm suddenly a disappointment.

Yet there is no magic pill to make me ticklish. Not like I want to be. I have one life to live, you know, and I have to 'settle' with this, and it sucks. I just wonder, for ticklers~ is this a trait that you find, irreparably disheartening in a partner? Is it something that can kill your interest in them completely?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't leave someone over it. It just really sucks. It reminds you that life is not fair at all...
 
Very sad story.

But as for your question, no, being not very ticklish is not an ugly trait in a girl 🙂 When we talk about playing games there are usually other games to play. And that is the only advice I can give you.

When you say " I knew what it felt like to thrash and wiggle and desperately need to escape the tickle attacks of others. " it seems to me that you like being tickled because of the loss of control. If that is the case, why not try to find other things that can make you trash and wiggle and want to escape?

Okay, for many of us here, nothing is quite like tickling, but still, playing with ice cubes (esp when blindfolded) has been known to produce wiggling. Perhaps cold water. Or hot wax. I have no personal experience with electricity but I think that might come close to tickling, as it does not need to be painful to create a reaction. And who knows - perhaps when you not thinking at all about tickling someone may be able to surprise you.

Anyway, all the best to you!
 
Nope, not a deal breaker at all...

That's certainly not a deal breaker for me. Anyone who thinks so is being as shallow as the baggadouche that wouldn't consider a girl if they don't have DDs. Shallow people suck.
 
I appreciate the comments guys~ thanks. ^^

It's not really, that I've faced total rejection over it. I mean, I'm lucky I never met anyone that shallow. It's probably more projection on my part, but~ I just generally mean that small moment where the tickling isn't as fun anymore.

It really sucks when you enjoy the tickling you have, are even aroused by it. Are SO excited that it's happening, but~ your responses aren't as good, or lively as they'd like. So they stop~ and as a lee, that's just, well damn it, that sucks. <3 I suppose it can't be helped, but, I just wanted to see how others felt about it, and like I suspected, it's nice that people aren't shallow or so harsh that they can appreciate someone beyond just tickling. Wish they didn't have to tho~ haha~

I never want them to stop, even if it's not~ OMG I'm DYING ticklish, I'm still ticklish, and it still can be unbearable and fun, etc. Haha~ I just lack that motivating response sometimes that really inspires the sadism in ticklers. I 'ler too~ so I know what it's like.

Oh well, thanks for letting me think out loud. <3
 
It's not an "ugly" trait but it is slightly detrimental. My affinity for switching is a big part of me and my sexuality, so having a partner who isn't ticklish or refuses to ever ler could potentially be an issue. Not a deal-breaker by any means, but rather something that would probably just nag at me from time to time. People are who they are, ideally someone will appreciates them for all that is encompassed by their being.
 
Not everyone reacts the same. Some don't even laugh or giggle, but are still ticklish nonetheless.

It's too bad that you've had such disappointing sessions with lers, but it's their loss. To me, the best sessions are the ones where both the lee and ler are having fun. I've had a session with a guy who I switched with, which I rarely do. His reactions were nowhere near the same as my reactions. He never laughed, but did wiggle a bit. I was never disappointed in his reactions because the sessions were simply about having fun.

Try finding lers who aren't focused on or expecting one specific reaction but are focused on having fun with you as a person. It leads to more lasting friendships and fun. 😀
 
I certainly prefer a girl to be ticklish, but there are other things that I enjoy, so if a girl weren't ticklish, I would be fine. My ex was very ticklish, so no problems there, and my current girlfriend is also, so again, not been a problem for me, but I don't see myself ever breaking up with someone over it. I would just focus on the other things I like.
 
If I had people around whom I could tickle anytime I wanted, then I could easily accept a non-ticklish partner, but as it stands I haven't had any tickling action in a long time, so a mate being ticklish is a huge plus.
 
For me personally, the attractiveness of ticklish reactions has grown over the years. I always loved to tickle, but at first was just one facet of allure. If a girl wasn't ticklish but was very cute or sexy and fun, no problem. However over time it somehow escalated within me. Now great ticklish reactions are 99% necessary.

But this is not all bad news, Inverse, because it sounds like your attitude is fantastic -- and for me that's half the battle! Most girls don't go crazy at a touch. (Even those that do only do sometimes.) But if you are excited about tickling anyway that's extremely attractive.

My advice is for you to simply talk with your ler. I for one would be encouraged, not the opposite, hearing a story like yours from a girl. I would view it as a joint challenge for the two of us to find out how to drive her absolutely crazy again!

So don't worry. At least for me, less strong natural reactions could easily be compensated for by sexy enthusiasm (tease him, ask to be tickled) and the right attitude. Just smile/giggle at first to get him excited (never sit there stone-faced), and be open-minded trying new things to recapture everything you miss! 😉
 
My wife is ticklish. I tickle her, she laughs, so I can't picture myself not having that. A girl being ticklish is a very attractive thing to me, and it's very special cus not all girls are.
 
Emishticklish said:
Not ugly....no, but it's not desireable to me. As a Switch I prefer my Ler to be moderately to extremely ticklish. I would not break up with them or simply rule it out if they weren't. 🙂
Click to expand...

First bit exactly what I was thinking when I entered this thread. I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who wasn't ticklish tho, I've found its a trait I require for me to be happy in the relationship. Definetly not ugly tho...
 
For me, it's not ugly is just a little saddening, however being not ticklish at all is worse than not enough
 
I think there are far more important things that would render someone "ugly"... But that's just me.
 
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