From where does the embarrassment factor come in being tickled?

[brotherted]

Embarrassment. I hear it all the time, and for many it's a key part of the turn on.

But I'm curious to understand it better. Other physical reactions to stimuli don't seem to be embarrassing in any way: Sports injuries, fatigue, itching, sneezing, etc. And if a reaction is truly involuntary, why logically would someone feel embarrassed by it, having made no choice in the matter?

 

[croaker68]

Maybe from the noticeable bulge.

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[Volsung]

Tickle Switch here...
I think at least in part is that the embarrassment comes from divulging something that is not common. How many times are we tickled anyway? In a day? In a week? I think that someone who has a tickle fetish would be WAY more embarrassed by being tickled. Because for them it is not just being tickled... they are turned on by it. Generally speaking, we don't want people to know what turns us on. I also think this is in part, a generational thing. Back in the day, everything was more private. We kept to ourselves. Now, everything is out there. So the embarrassment factor you're talking about may not be such a big deal now... which it a shame really. Being embarrassed was another psychological factor that made tickling interesting, for me anyway.

 

[robmic]

I'm thinking that the embarrassment may come from the fact that you react and can't control your reaction.

 

[TheSolemnOne]

Agree with rob. I think it is the loss of control.

 

[dreamr]

I think there is a deeper connection between tickling and embarrassment and the eroticism of both. I think it has something to do with smiling and laughing being expressions of submissiveness in evolutionary history.

 

[3xPIN]

The exposed vulnerability. A way of humbling someone with such ease. It reminds us we are all human.

 

[Wade]

Absolutely the loss of self-control: being unable to control your behavior and responses as others, who are completely in control of their own, look on. Related is the fact that not only are you out of control but control of your body has been transferred to another person, who wields complete control over what you do and how long you do it. The extremity of the involuntary responses is also embarrassing -- the laughter is loud and uninterrupted; the squirming and thrashing are over-the-top. You look like you're wildly overreacting to minor stimuli; that's super embarrassing. Plus the fact that not everyone is ticklish, and not everyone is equally ticklish -- you're being forced involuntarily to demonstrate the extent to which you're more vulnerable than other people.

I also think there's something infantilizing -- and, drawing on archaic gender sterotypes hardwired into my background, something feminizing -- about ticklishness, and about having the severity of one's ticklishness publicly exposed and exploited, so as an adult male that adds another layer of acute embarrassment on top of all the rest.

 

[brotherted]

Absolutely the loss of self-control: being unable to control your behavior and responses as others, who are completely in control of their own, look on. Related is the fact that not only are you out of control but control of your body has been transferred to another person, who wields complete control over what you do and how long you do it. The extremity of the involuntary responses is also embarrassing -- the laughter is loud and uninterrupted; the squirming and thrashing are over-the-top. You look like you're wildly overreacting to minor stimuli; that's super embarrassing. Plus the fact that not everyone is ticklish, and not everyone is equally ticklish -- you're being forced involuntarily to demonstrate the extent to which you're more vulnerable than other people.

I also think there's something infantilizing....

An unusually thoughtful take. Thanks.

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

I agree with Wade here about the feminizing aspect, which for a man can be profoundly embarrassing.

 

[brotherted]

A very different, but somewhat related embarrassment are the online stories by women who've had orgasms during rape:
https://medium.com/sexography/i-orgasmed-during-my-rape-4d63b8e70936

In the same way that orgasm is usually interpreted to mean that sexual contact is pleasing, so too laughing is usually interpreted to mean a person is having fun. In both cases, someone else makes your body demonstrate a form of approval over what's being done to you, whether you want to or not.

(Standard analogy disclaimer: No analogy is ever identical to the thing being compared -- distinctions can always be identified. The purpose of the analogy isn't to say too things are the same; it's to illustrate a principle that the things have in common.)

 

[milagros317]

...
I also think there's something infantilizing -- and, drawing on archaic gender sterotypes hardwired into my background, something feminizing -- about ticklishness, and about having the severity of one's ticklishness publicly exposed and exploited, so as an adult male that adds another layer of acute embarrassment on top of all the rest.

Yes, I agree.
Infants are often tickled and almost all infants are ticklish, so it definitely makes an adult seem like an infant.

 

[whazel]

100% agree- well said !

 

[Littlechambers]

As a submissive little, embarrassment is devastatingly perfect.

The T word, for me, is a source of pleasure which is also unbearable. I don't think anyone's opinion is wrong - but for me, pleasure is weakness. If you desire something desperately, to the point where your body is contracting, tensing, dampening, pulsating... then you have a weakness. Pain is unpleasant, but pleasure is indulgent and shameful. If you enjoy something so badly that your knees get weak, and someone takes enjoyment out of toying with this weakness you have - it's just embarrassing.

As a submissive, being embarrassed by my fetish is just another avenue of submission. Here is my weakest point sir, you found it, and not only am I weakened by it - but I'm desperately lusting for it.

As a little, being held down and [tword]ed is an act of domination. The T'lee does giggle like a child, it's almost like the brain wants to regress back into not only physical and erotic weakness... but also psychological weakness. It's humiliating to have someone talk to you as if you were an infant, and to have your body betray you with signs of lust and desire - you're caught in a loop -

The more you lust
The more shame you feel
The more fear you have that your body will betray you - that someone will notice
Then you start to notice - goosebumps, shivers, contractions, sounds, breath ...
Your brain tells you that pleasure feels good, you're weak with lust
And so you feel more shame, more fear, more awareness... more lust.

Anyway, that's my take on it.

But also it feels safe, to be so weak and so embarrassed and so ashamed - and to fall into a trap where you cannot escape, but rather than pain you are forced to feel pleasure.
What a relief! How freeing!
You are so ashamed of the pleasure you feel - but you are released of the guilt of ownership, you did not ask for so much pleasure and yet here you are being forced to take it. And how embarrassing and small you feel within that pleasure.

But it only works out if the people who find your weakness, indulge in it with you.
Embarrassment can be painful and cutting as well - after all, it is pretty shameful to become weak and wet just because someone says they might tough you softly.

Well - this is my internal dialogue. I don't think anyone's opinion is wrong because everyone has their own perception on the matter, so I hope no one is offended by my proclamation that their pleasure makes them weak.

 

[MarkyisTickly]

Wade has made some good points. Tickling in general has been regarded as a feminine thing (another reason to support the 'women are better ticklers' claim hehe) so anyone like an adult male can be really embarrassed when on the receiving end.

Heck, I think thats why a good half of F/M tickle videos have the man masked. Personally, I'm a switch so I would definitely not mind being tickled by a female for the camera, but I do wonder how many of us guys here share the same sentiment or not. lol Depends on who you are of course.

 

[gigglesauce]

All good answers!

 

[MrMacphisto]

Maybe from the noticeable bulge.

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LOL Straightforward but true.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Absolutely the loss of self-control: being unable to control your behavior and responses as others, who are completely in control of their own, look on. Related is the fact that not only are you out of control but control of your body has been transferred to another person, who wields complete control over what you do and how long you do it. The extremity of the involuntary responses is also embarrassing -- the laughter is loud and uninterrupted; the squirming and thrashing are over-the-top. You look like you're wildly overreacting to minor stimuli; that's super embarrassing. Plus the fact that not everyone is ticklish, and not everyone is equally ticklish -- you're being forced involuntarily to demonstrate the extent to which you're more vulnerable than other people.

I also think there's something infantilizing -- and, drawing on archaic gender sterotypes hardwired into my background, something feminizing -- about ticklishness, and about having the severity of one's ticklishness publicly exposed and exploited, so as an adult male that adds another layer of acute embarrassment on top of all the rest.

I can totally see that being applicable to most dudes, but for me, it's more about the consequence that croaker mentioned. If a girl I'm attracted to starts tickling me or tries to initiate it, it might be difficult not to show my "interest." For women, I'd imagine this is less of a concern for obvious reasons.

 

[ManInDistress]

If someone has you under their control and has you laughing, thrashing, and even begging for mercy; that's pretty embarrassing. You look weak for being dominated psychically and mentally.

 

[hiphophooray4]

Absolutely the loss of self-control: being unable to control your behavior and responses as others, who are completely in control of their own, look on. Related is the fact that not only are you out of control but control of your body has been transferred to another person, who wields complete control over what you do and how long you do it. The extremity of the involuntary responses is also embarrassing -- the laughter is loud and uninterrupted; the squirming and thrashing are over-the-top. You look like you're wildly overreacting to minor stimuli; that's super embarrassing. Plus the fact that not everyone is ticklish, and not everyone is equally ticklish -- you're being forced involuntarily to demonstrate the extent to which you're more vulnerable than other people.

I also think there's something infantilizing -- and, drawing on archaic gender sterotypes hardwired into my background, something feminizing -- about ticklishness, and about having the severity of one's ticklishness publicly exposed and exploited, so as an adult male that adds another layer of acute embarrassment on top of all the

An unusually thoughtful take. Thanks.

Thats the best answer your probably going to get for your question