Girlfriend isn't really into tickling, advice?

[mlund95]

Hey everyone,

So my girlfriend who I love very much isn't really into tickling, so we don't do much with it. We both knew about this dynamic and how each other felt about it since the beginning really, so it's not a surprise. I was just wondering, for those with significant others who aren't into tickling, what do you do to explore tickling still? Or do you try to just ignore it?

Thanks!

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Depends how strong your desires are. It starts creeping into your fantasy life while love making, it can get a bit tricky. I tried that once, but the tickle beings that be wouldn't let me get away with it. Everybody's different, good luck with which ever way you decide to progress.

 

[tcklemeslly]

If she doesn't enjoy being tickled do you think she'd be open to tickling someone else with you? Or watching you tickle someone else?

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

Can't force her to tickle or be into it if she don't want to. If she's not into it , maybe look elsewhere.
Of course ask her if that's okay come to some compromise or agreement that won't hurt the relationship

 

[TKLVR18]

I think the fact that you added "who I love very much" in your opening statement is significant, and a good thing that your affection is so strong that you felt either the need to mention it or it just came out naturally.

Open communication is very important in a relationship! Does she know how strongly you feel about it? As somebody said above me, is it creeping into your fantasy life, and are you unable to think about anything else? If so, she needs to know that this is a big deal for you. I can't really tell you how to handle it, but I do believe that, if it's this big of a deal for you, she needs to be aware. I hope that some kind of compromise can be reached--relationships are all about give and take.

~K

 

[Deleted member 2452]

time for a new girl friend!

steve

 

[chicago]

If tickling is that important, I wouldn't venture into a relationship with someone that wasn't into it or wasn't willing to let me play with others / have an open relationship of some sort. I don't know how many vanilla people would be into letting their s/o's play with others, but you never know. Might be worth a shot. Good luck.

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

It's a question I've been working with a lot too.

I'm interested to know a little more. Is it that she's super ticklish and has always had a negative association with it (that's the case with my girlfriend)? Is it that she doesn't really mind being tickled but it doesn't turn her on?

So that's the first question - could there be more room to explore it in the context of the relationship? Could she let you tickle her for short periods? Would she be willing to tell you stories about times she's been tickled and would that turn you on (that's a huge one for me - and it's one way we've been able to work tickling into our relationship)?

I still hold out hopes that my girlfriend will become more open to being tickled for more than a few seconds at a time. But I've definitely found that the TMF is a great source for exploring the world of tickling. Reading stories, watching videos, or talking to others about the topic are ways that I incorporate it into my own life and explore my own sexuality outside of the context of our relationship. She's aware of that and understands and is supportive, which is really great.

Curious to hear your thoughts and a little more about you and your girlfriend.

 

[maniactickler]

Move on!

 

[solescratcher99]

Everyone seems to be imposing the impression onto him that he 'feels strongly' about this but there is no such insinuation in the original post. All he asked was whether or not you still explore tickling when your partner isn't "that" into it. And what's up with this false dichotomy of either being into it or not into it? Sexual relationships are more complex than that. We need to steer ourselves away from this black and white logic.

As for the actual question, some people are okay with certain forms of tickling more than others. I try to gauge where this person is at and work with that. Also, I'm not "that" into BDSM but if the person I'm with were into it, I'd be willing to make accommodations. On the other hand, there are some people who are black and white about sexually. In my experience, they're not only NOT into exploring theirs and their partners sexuality, they only want one form of sex (missionary, baby-making sex). These people are not people you want to be with because there's no give and take (and that's not just in the bedroom). You want to be a sexual purist? Go live in a cave.

 

[P[a]pi]

mlund95, do you want to "explore tickling still" or "try to just ignore it?"

If you want to explore it, then an open relationship or a new relationship could be the answer. If you want to ignore it, weell I have no idea how to do that lol.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

My advice. If you love your girlfriend, keep her. And get your tickling needs met elsewhere.

 

[chicago]

It's possible to not have to settle for someone that doesn't satisfy you, though. The bedroom is not the end all be all of a relationship, but it's a big part

 

[the tickleshow]

I'm in a similar spot. She doesn't have a problem with the tickling, she just isn't ticklish. It's a tough call. I wish you luck. If you're both in love, these could (and should) be some compromise.

 

[Wolf]

Is this the same girlfriend who suggested "classically conditioning her to like tickling with sexual actions"? It sounds like you're both trying to meet each other halfway, here. You've been honest enough to be up front with her, so I don't doubt you can be honest enough to say you're not happy with the way things are (if that's the case), and maybe there are ways to improve that. If the roles were reversed, what would you want her to do? You both deserve to be happy. If it's a deal breaker, and you don't see any hope of things getting better, then yes, you should consider moving on. Sexuality is a part of every romantic relationship, and whatever dynamic yours takes, it's best that you're both honest and upfront about it. Anything less is no way to be.