Let me say some surprising things.
I think Dave had the most useful input for these circumstances, found here:
Dave2112 said:
Even the most hard-core among us realize that there is more to a healthy life. It's coming to terms with it and finding where it fits in your life that is most important. Most of us evolved over years, if not decades.
...and here:
Dave2112 said:
Don't give up. This isn't something that has an expiration date. Stay positive and get out there a bit. It's up to you, the ball's in your court.
Thanks, Dave -- good stuff there!
These sorts of posts that suggest "giving up" this or that always make me wonder where the person's focus is, because clearly, they are unhappy at some level.
I want you to consider the "keeping up with the Jones's" phenomena. Simply put, people tend not to feel good unless they're outdoing their neighbor. Neighbor's got a new red lawnmower? You want yours to be
sparkly candy-apple red. They've got a new car? You want yours to be newer and faster. New wife? You may want one younger and hotter. People get competitive out of need to keep up with (or outdo) their surroundings and that need is insecurity with their relative status and related discomfort.
Now, what does that mean to you? Maybe nothing. But I tend to believe people who express "giving up" often see themselves as incapable of competing with their surroundings.
In the context of tickling, such people who discuss "giving up" often spend a lot of time here, sometimes lurking, sometimes participating, but still, a lot of time -- apparently, more than they should. The punctuationless/run-on manner of your typing suggests to me you may spend more time online in general than necessary (though there may be other explanations). Spending too much time here for yourself, as anywhere, will skew your perceptions. But here, everyone is talking about tickling -- what they've done, who they're tickling next, techniques, what gatherings they attend, etc. For some who get this twisted, they get the view that everyone else is out there, having a crazy time tickling, except them. Viewing this place as any basis for comparison can be misleading, and for those who take it seriously, depressing.
This is why you have people who get their panties in a bunch on both sides when NEST rolls around -- because the propaganda's over-the-top. The TMF becomes NEST Advertising Central. People
going think it's The Rapture. People
not going feel alienated and dismissed because they've
heard it's The Rapture, and for whatever reason, be it financial, logistical, or simply the lack of an invitation, they can't go. And the grandiose claims, and talk of "Brotherhood", and bragging, etc. only further alienate those who feel dismissed, and result in cynical, critical and biting sentiments, when it shouldn't. Mind you, NEST (almost)
has to be over-the-top and
sold as The Rapture for people to show up. It's just a party, but that's
advertising for you. Advertising is not the truth. Don't let advertising influence your perception of reality.
Now let me break it down for you and suggest some surprising things:
This place, The Tickling Media Forum, is
NOT the Mecca for tickling. (Listens to readers doing double-takes and picking their jaws up off the floor.) Let me say that again: The TMF is
NOT the Mecca for tickling. This is the Mecca for
talking about tickling, for
bullshitting about tickling, for
fantasizing about tickling. It's the Mecca for
viewing clips about tickling, and sometimes limitedly for talking with other 'lers and 'lees.
It's all the trappings with none of the substance. And it will never be anything more.
Why?! Because no one can reach through the friggin' monitor and tickle you, man!
🙂
The Mecca for tickling --
for your experience of tickling -- is
YOU, and that's the
ONLY place it will ever be.
That's why I'm going to give you different advice than some here, but it holds something in common with Dave2112's suggestions:
If you're unhappy, and you spend a lot of time here,
DON'T get more involved here.
DON'T spend more time here.
GET OUT. Speak to people. Work on your interpersonal skills. Make some new friends. Go on some dates. Interact! Not online, but in real life. Learn what works and what doesn't, and don't give up. Don't be afraid to come here and ask people for advice, but ask advice of people in the real world, too, on how to build confidence and real connections.
When you have real friends and real people who truly care about you in the real world -- even a girlfriend or somesuch -- it'll be easier to find someone to tickle you. But real people and real care come first, and by all reasonable accounts, they should.
Good luck, man.
