luv2bt&tickled
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2002
- Messages
- 1,696
- Points
- 0
Thought you might like these two jokes. 🙂
Go Figure!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where
a train stops. On my desk I have a work station. GO FIGURE!
*
If Fedex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP
*
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool
came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
*
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
*
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans.
*
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a
whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me--they
were cramming for their finals.
*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little
tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use.
Toothpicks?
*
Why do they put up pictures of criminals in the post office?
What are we supposed to do, write to these men? Why don't
they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the
mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
MESS WITH THE IRS
There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and found that he
owed $3,407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:
Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take
note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In
the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50
for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six
hammers (value $1,029).
This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note the
overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election
Fund', as noted on my return. Might I suggest you to send the
above mentioned fund a '1.5 inch screw'. (See attached article -HUD
paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
Tax Payer
Go Figure!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where
a train stops. On my desk I have a work station. GO FIGURE!
*
If Fedex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP
*
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool
came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
*
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
*
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans.
*
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a
whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me--they
were cramming for their finals.
*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little
tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use.
Toothpicks?
*
Why do they put up pictures of criminals in the post office?
What are we supposed to do, write to these men? Why don't
they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the
mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
MESS WITH THE IRS
There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and found that he
owed $3,407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:
Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take
note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In
the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50
for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six
hammers (value $1,029).
This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note the
overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election
Fund', as noted on my return. Might I suggest you to send the
above mentioned fund a '1.5 inch screw'. (See attached article -HUD
paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
Tax Payer
