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Going deeper w/tickling in relationship - without embarassment

YouNeverKnow175

TMF Master
Joined
Sep 30, 2002
Messages
868
Points
28
Usually when I read people’s posts about being open with their significant other about being into tickling, I usually smile and think back to the days when I felt far more embarrassed about it and was terrified to admit it to my earliest girlfriends back in high school and college. Although in more recent relationships I still find it to be a leap of faith in some sense, to expose myself in that way, I feel much more confident because I’ve never had a girlfriend get scared off or think it’s that weird

I had something of a revelation this week, though, that I’m only really partially open with my girlfriend about my likes. We’ve been together for a year and a half, she knows I’m into tickling (and feet) and has been really accepting about it. At first, she did have some hesitancy because she was scarred by childhood tickling experiences and feeling powerless (like half the women on this planet, it seems), but she’s come to trust me and I’ve learned where the (current) limits are.

We’re all unique in our particular tickling-makeup....some of us are lers, some lees, some into bondage, others not, some into stories, some into heavy tickling, some into light, some into unintentional tickles like a pedicure, others who prefer all-out tickling.

I’ve realized this week that I’ve been relying on the TMF for certain aspects of my tickling fetish that I actually haven’t been comfortable sharing with my girlfriend, despite how confident and open I profess to be. I’ve been shy to explore certain things with her and now some level of insight or confidence has dawned that makes me feel like I would like to. Some examples:

For the most part, our tickling relationship consists of me playfully tickling her, and occasionally doing some short intentional “sessions” or contests. She will occasionally tell me true stories that have happened to her, though she doesn’t have or can’t remember all that many specifically. But that’s only a slice of what I actually really am into.....

I’ve always had a thing about chatting online with people about tickling - subtly bringing it up with female friends and learning about their ticklishness - or chatting on the TMF. So why have I felt so shy about including this in my relationship? I suddenly realized my girlfriend and I could chat online (even in different rooms in our apartment) about tickling, her experiences and stories etc, as a type of foreplay.....and I think it would be incredibly erotic for me.

Also, I love true stories and have shared some on the TMF and have recently written an occasional fictional tale too. But I’ve basically left my girlfriend out of it - in some way it’s been a bit of a madonna/hor complex, feeling like our relationship is too new and sacred or something like that. Suddenly though, I feel inspired to start writing up some of the true stories about my girlfriend, and creating some fictional ones as well......but not to share on the TMF (sorry guys), for myself and for her.

I know many folks role-play scenarios but I’ve never really done that. This, too, suddenly feels like something I’d love to try. I think it’d be fun, especially since we both have a small amount of acting experience. Since I love accidental tickles, I foresee some doctor’s office scenarios for sure.....some pedicure incidences, and lots of other creative possibilities....

I know this is long and I appreciate if you’ve read down to here. This is, I think, an important series of revelations for me and I’d love to hear what you all think - or if any of you have gone through your own journeys with this type of thing, too.
 
Its hard to bring up thats for sure..even sayin the word out loud embarrasses me..But I tell you this...The first time I was comfortable enough with a woman to incorporate tickling with sex, was my ex wife...and man....the first time I tickled her feet while we had sex at the same time...Youll want nothing less ever again lol...its....ridiculously amazing.
 
Its hard to bring up thats for sure..even sayin the word out loud embarrasses me..But I tell you this...The first time I was comfortable enough with a woman to incorporate tickling with sex, was my ex wife...and man....the first time I tickled her feet while we i heard that!!had sex at the same time...Youll want nothing less ever again lol...its....ridiculously amazing.
E
I heard that!!!!!
 
as you point out YouNeverKnow175 we all approach tickling in different ways and share it with others in our lives in just as many different ways. Who knows why some things are such turn ons for some while something completely different is a turn on for others? If you have a relationship built on trust and communication you have a safe place to express and explore those turn ons. My only suggestion is that in addition to opening up with your gf about your desires and passions, listen when she is ready to share about her turn ons which may be different from your own. Hers may have nothing to do with tickling. Help her realize her fantasies as she helps you realize yours.
 
as you point out YouNeverKnow175 we all approach tickling in different ways and share it with others in our lives in just as many different ways. Who knows why some things are such turn ons for some while something completely different is a turn on for others? If you have a relationship built on trust and communication you have a safe place to express and explore those turn ons. My only suggestion is that in addition to opening up with your gf about your desires and passions, listen when she is ready to share about her turn ons which may be different from your own. Hers may have nothing to do with tickling. Help her realize her fantasies as she helps you realize yours.

THIS! Definitely, without fail, do this!
 
YouNeverKnow, I think that's awesome. For me, and my personality, I don't think I'll ever be able to be unabashedly open with a partner who wasn't into it themselves. I think it's great you're able to get over that hurdle. 🙂 Good luck with it!
 
Hey OP

Im new here mate so, hello.

I enjoyed reading your post and I can relate very similarly.

I too find opening up with any new gf is like a leap of faith and tbh the adrenaline rush I get when I expose my self (for lack of a better phrase) is quite addictive.

However, like yourself, I can only go so deep into my own desires.
I dont know why, maybe its because that now Ive found someone who accepts the (frankly awesome) tickling fetish I have, albeit the lighter side of it, I feel I have more to loose!?

One example I have is when I was dating a girl called Julie. I told her I love having my feet tickled and she agreed to tickle my feet while I pleased myself.
What I really wanted to do was involve a bit of bondage and all this other stuff like role playing etc etc but I decided not to go down that route as not to scare her away.

Funny thing is, I ended up not enjoying sex with her as much. I should have just told her there and then.
I broke it off with her and what would I have really lost if I had just told her? I wouldnt have wasted her time thats for sure.

Anyway, being with a girl for as long as you have deserves a pat on the back. Good on you.
Best thing I can say to you is to be as honest as you can now to save time in the long run.
Have no regrets and NEVER apologize for who you are.
As long as you are open minded enough to do whatever turns her on, there should be no issues, right?

Above all, enjoy yourself!

Best of luck man
 
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