Halloween??...stick it.....

[red indian]

....you know where! I know you guys in the states love your feeble, contrived, fake "traditions", which have the robust authenticity of ENRONS credit rating, but I really do object to the increasing levels of "mission creep" this side of the pond.

Various, foul, nauseating, U.S. TV shows have found their way to the U.K. They act like some sort of suffocating germ warfare bug,which has persuaded many gullible vacuous teenagers that they need to adopt this plastic, imitation, bogus "festival" as one of their own.

This really is the bad side of U.S. influence on world culture, and I am very annoyed that this desparately false, cheap, "stick on" version of a rather dubious "traditional festival" is finding roots in the U.K.

Any one trying to "trick or treat" me this year will get the same responce...."Fuck off home and stop watching shit U.S. TV shows.......oh and.....get a bloody life for christs sake!!!"
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[red indian]

Yes indeed!!!......

....what a great old thread this is indeed!!!

 

[TMF Jeff]

... and an entire nation yawns disinterestedly.

 

[isabeau]

im wondering why in hell you posted this thread.

isabeau

 

[amk714]

If it's any consolation, red indian, I've never trick-or-treated (and never will), and I hate shit TV shows (whatever country they're from) also. But I guess I'm not the typical American either, since I like football (soccer) too. 😛

 

[Knox The Hatter]

ROFLMAO!

That was a reply for the ages, Jeff!

 

[isabeau]

o wow dont encourage him please

isabeau

 

[amk714]

im wondering why in hell you posted this thread.

isabeau

red indian's a nice guy, isabeau. That's just his way of saying he doesn't like Halloween. Trust me on this one. 😀

 

[ticklemad]

Hi there Red Indian - Chocks away old chap 😛

 

[isabeau]

red indian's a nice guy, isabeau. That's just his way of saying he doesn't like Halloween. Trust me on this one. 😀

uh i know him amk and i did think that

isabeau

 

[amk714]

I didn't know you knew him. Sorry isabeau, my bad. 😀

 

[venray]

ROFLMAO X 2

Just leave the porch light off, Mate and no one should bother you if they observe the "rules"

LOLOL



Ray

 

[Moses25]

ROFLMAO X 2

Just leave the porch light off, Mate and no one should bother you if they observe the "rules"

LOLOL



Ray

What "rules"? I thought we made up our own in a free and open society, n'est-pas?

Clarification, pleeze.

Cheers. 🙂

 

[venray]

: With Halloween upon us, it is worth while to remember a few simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE! Please use these helpful hints this and every year.
:
: 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
:
: 2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
:
: 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
:
: 4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
:
: 5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
:
: 6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
:
: 7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
:
: 8. If you're searching for something that caused a loud noise and find out that it's not just the cat, GET OUT!
:
: 9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out.
:
: 10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
:
: 11. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
:
: 12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
:
: 13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
:
: 14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
:
: 15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. (Note: In case you're wondering, Nilbog is the name of the town in a horrid, horrid movie called Troll 2. Try it backwards.)
:
: 16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the near by deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
:
: 17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made for deceased companions.
:
: 18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.
:
: 19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And you should carry a flashlight, not a candle.
:
: 20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
:
: 21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
:
: 22. If you do, take more than one map.

 

[isabeau]

lmao venray and i never venture into my basement. that sumppump is scarier than any monster i could encounter. and the mutant crickets down there are as big as mice. eeks

isabeau

 

[Krokus]

... and an entire nation yawns disinterestedly.

ditto. LOL

 

[steph]

love it!

The only holiday all year I actually like, even though tonite, we had few trick or treaters in our sleepy suburbian neighborhood.
XOXO

 

[drew70]

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

This was my favorite one. You just gotta love that word, "shambling."

 

[Knox The Hatter]

It was a school night, so, the doorbells didn't ring too late...

It's a great neighborhood that I live in...we have the most wonderful children coming to our door, and the costumes are great too. The vast majority of the children were chaperoned by parents, not like back in my day, when we trick-or-treated alone, and all wore crappy, cheesy costumes that were discounted at EJ Korvette's.

Mrs Knox and I have no children of our own, so, it was pleasant to hear their happiness at our door...

BTW, I think British television's so much better than ours, that it's very, very sad.

 

[red indian]

Jolly good show chaps!!!.......

...I think i might make this a regular feature! slagging off U.S. half baked, aneamic pretentions to "ancient tradition" it seems to get one or two hackles raised!

I will have to wait for someone to translate "Amnesiac's" post for me though.

My thanks to the "old laggs" for seeing the funny side as usual.

Now....when is Thanksgiving?...i cant bloody wait!!!

 

[isabeau]

ooo so this was meant to be humorous??? hmmmm

isabeau

 

[isabeau]

...I think i might make this a regular feature! slagging off U.S. half baked, aneamic pretentions to "ancient tradition" it seems to get one or two hackles raised!

I will have to wait for someone to translate "Amnesiac's" post for me though.

My thanks to the "old laggs" for seeing the funny side as usual.

Now....when is Thanksgiving?...i cant bloody wait!!!

lol ok now i get it its a joke silly me hehe

isabeau

 

[Mimi]

If you know Red, Isa, then you should have known this was meant to be tongue in cheek. The cantankerous old fart hardly ever posts anything with TRUE merit.

Now bend over....


P.S. Ray, that list was hilarious! As a horror buff, I gotta say whoever wrote that up knew what they were talking about! lol

 

[jim66e]

: 13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

If I may, I'd like to make one addition:

If you are running from a monster, never look back. This will cause either:

a: you to fall
b: the monster to be standing in front of you when you look forward again
c: both

🙂

 

[venray]

...I think i might make this a regular feature! slagging off U.S. half baked, aneamic pretentions to "ancient tradition" it seems to get one or two hackles raised!

I will have to wait for someone to translate "Amnesiac's" post for me though.

That will take some time....

My thanks to the "old laggs" for seeing the funny side as usual.



Now....when is Thanksgiving?...i cant bloody wait!!!

Now That will be a turkey of a thread for sure.....I belive it is on the 25'th of this month...


Always glad to be of service, Mate.....