Oooh, I LOVE speculations!
🙂 Now let’s see:
The beginning of Book 5 describes how Dudley finally eats so much that he bursts in a huge explosion that blows up the Dursley’s house. Harry finds a way to get to his friend Ron to spend the rest of the holiday’s there.
On the way to school, the Hogwarts Express runs out of steam because Lord Voldemort has sabotaged it. All the pupils are now forced to tramp to Hogwarts individually, but Ron’s brother Percy (who had become minister of magic meanwhile) picks them up with magic carpets which he had confiscated from a Turkish wizard. That way, Harry escapes the trap that Voldemort had laid out for him on the way.
At Hogsmeade, Harry buys a pack of Berty Bott’s All Flavored Beans and gives a few to Colin Creeves (the boy that followed him around with a camera constantly). Colin dies on the spot because Voldemort has jinxed them with a poison curse. Professor Snape (teacher for defense against dark magic now) accuses Harry of the killing, and Harry has to flee to his Godfather Sirius Black. From him, he learns a lot of new things about himself and his father.
In secret letters to Hogwarts, he writes his memoirs to Hermione and Ron, and Hermione finds all this so fascinating that she starts to write a book about Harry. It’s called “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” and becomes a bestseller. She makes millions by it, buys Hogwarts and fires Snape so Harry can return. Snape joins Voldemort to destroy Harry, but the evil plan fails because Professor Dumbledore knew all about it beforehand.
When the school year is over, Harry can’t return to the Dursleys because they’re still homeless and have become drunkards in their grief about Dudley. So Harry forms a commune with Cho Chang, Ron and Hermione, they wind magic flowers in their hair, smoke weed and sing “Blowing in the Wind”…
🙄 😀 
