Has anyone ever been attracted to somone that you just couldn't have?

[BigBrownEyes]

Human beings are flawed and complicated. There's a CD by the band "Our Lady Peace," called "Happiness Is Not A Fish You Can Catch." Ever since I saw that title, I thought that it rang true.

Has anyone here ever been wildly attracted to someone that they just couldn't have? Whether it be because you work together, you run in different circles, stubborness on both sides, or possibly just a lack of interest on one side. Whatever the reason may be, you can't get the person to pay attention to you to save your life. You also can't stop thinking about it, even though you know you need to forget about it and move on.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What do you do about it, if anything?

 

[isabeau]

yes i have....

 

[toyou444]

Without a doubt yes.

In fact I know one woman now...she is perfect for me. We have most everything in common and would make a wonderful couple. But I would NEVER start anything becuase I am married.

Now before people start jumping on me I have never entertained the idea of an affair OR leaving my wife for another woman. I love my wife and my family and we are right for each other in many ways. Fortunately I am good friends with this woman and we have a wonderful friendship because of it.

~ toyou

 

[crydun]

Human beings are flawed and complicated. There's a CD by the band "Our Lady Peace," called "Happiness Is Not A Fish You Can Catch." Ever since I saw that title, I thought that it rang true.

Has anyone here ever been wildly attracted to someone that they just couldn't have? Whether it be because you work together, you run in different circles, stubborness on both sides, or possibly just a lack of interest on one side. Whatever the reason may be, you can't get the person to pay attention to you to save your life. You also can't stop thinking about it, even though you know you need to forget about it and move on.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What do you do about it, if anything?

Yes, sweetie, I have. He used to be a member of this forum. He longer hangs here. And, as I'm sure you know, It's EXTREMELY hard.

I've been thinking about you heavily lately. I feel your pain. I really do. Just don't get so wrapped up in ONE person that you miss the forest for the trees, so to speak. Someone wonderful is out there waiting for you. You have to be willing to either find her or let her find you.

These situations are always hard to deal with. Thank God that God is walking us through, right beside us, so that we can come out and see the rainbow!

your friend,

Crystal

 

[crydun]

Oh, and I also fell in love (or maybe it was lust, I'm still figuring it out😉 ) with someone who was married with kids when I met her. Not very healthy when you're thinking about someone all the time and they have a family.

I can Totally relate to that one!!

 

[He-Man]

Has anyone here ever been wildly attracted to someone that they just couldn't have?

Sure, I have. Course, I couldn't have her, cause..well, Selina Kyle isn't real --unless there's some lady out there really named that who likes dressing in leather costumes with cat ears. lol


Seriously, though, it's happened to me...sometimes in highshcool, although I never really knew if I could've had one of the girls I was attracted to--I was too shy to really say anything to them.

And the women that worked with the orthadontist I went to. Damn, most of them looked like freakin supermodels. Made me wish I had been the age I am now instead of in my teens( I almost feel like visiting the orthadontist office just to see if any of em are still there. It's only about 30 mins away). That was just freakin torture at times lol

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Been there, done that.

Many times.

 

[Mastertank1]

Ever hear the song "Only The Good Die Young"?

Billy Joel recorded it. I could have written it to C.M. back in high school. Her dad made her stop seeing me because;

A) I'm Jewish 😕

and

B) He heard I ran with a dangerous crowd;
We weren't too pretty, we weren't too proud,
We always laughed just a little too loud.
(paraphrase of lyrics from the song).

He admitted it was mostly A). 😕

I was so pissed off I could've chewed nails and spit out staples!
But, I moved on.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[unclebill]

A wise man once advised me to adopt a puppy. Your problems will be solved.

 

[drew70]

Without a doubt yes.

In fact I know one woman now...she is perfect for me. We have most everything in common and would make a wonderful couple. But I would NEVER start anything becuase I am married.

Now before people start jumping on me I have never entertained the idea of an affair OR leaving my wife for another woman. I love my wife and my family and we are right for each other in many ways. Fortunately I am good friends with this woman and we have a wonderful friendship because of it.

~ toyou

Not to worry, Glenn. Around here you're more likely to get jumped on for embracing traditional monoamorous values than for sleeping around. I too know one or two women who seem like perfect partners and there's one lady on this forum around whom I need to keep my feelings in check. I think it's normal to have such inclinations, but what shows character is the ability to control them and not give in to them.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

I appreciated your responses.

ToYou, I'm sure this kind of thing happs to lots of married couples. In my opinion, women actually get more flirtatous with married guys and guys in realtionships. It used to happen to me all the time. I don't know whether they figure it's safe, exciting because it's forbidden, or just that something looks better when someone else has it.

Loveheels, this response struck me as being very much on the mark. You suddenly have feelings for someone you were around all the time, but she doesn't think of you in "that way." That blows hard. Two people can be different as night and day and that's the only thing that really matters. If it's not there, it's not there. Once again...blows hard.

Unclebill, you and that damn puppy!

Crydun, thank you for being your usual wonderful, caring self. Hey, I'm definitely willing to let the right one find me. Finding that someone on your own, doesn't seem to work. Could someone come along to make you forget about the rotten times? That's another question.

A lot people spoke of someone they saw in their teenage years that they liked but couldn't do anything about it. That's not uncommon. It's easier to get over it when you're a kid because you know you have it all ahead of you. But it's really a shot in the stomach when it happens during adulthood. Not as many options any more.

 

[Aachen1983]

Holy shit, brings back memories. Back in Grade school I had the largest crush on this girl named Sarah. One day I worked up the nerve to ask her out, 6th grade I will add, and she shot me down like a German Bomber.

 

[chicago]

Oh yeah.

Never in my 18 (almost 19) years did I fall so hard for the guy I dated a few months ago. He was interesting, charming, had thid thing for old movies which affected how he spoke and dressed. He seemed like a young, reincarnated Clark Gable-Rudolph-Valentino or something.

Unfortunately, he liked playing mind games and was just absolutely insane.

So I had to let him go and it sucked because I kept thinking he'd just magically stop being crazy and go back to being charming, but it didn't happen.

To this day he's still the most romantic guy I'd ever been with, unfortunately he was also the oddest.

Still sends me emails once in a while, which made the getting over him not so easy, but now I just find him to be rather annoying.

I think the big deal is that young people, even the smartest of young people, see every relationship as this huuuuge life-changing thing. And when they meet someone they "click" with, and it doesn't work out, they think it'll be the last time they ever have a relationship that's worthwile.

Which definitely isn't true.

 

[maniactickler]

This happens to me at least 20 times a day.

 

[kered]

This happens to me at least 20 times a day.

Ditto.....

 

[HeavenlyTickle]

This happens to me at least 20 times a day.

Ditto.....

Oh come on, I don't think I PM you quite that often.


And in answer to the question... no, it doesn't really happen to me. Mainly because most people in college aren't married or even in serious relationships. So if two people fancy each other, they'll more than likely get together.

 

[kis123]

Holy shit, brings back memories. Back in Grade school I had the largest crush on this girl named Sarah. One day I worked up the nerve to ask her out, 6th grade I will add, and she shot me down like a German Bomber.

Oh yeah baby!!

Been there and done that! This reminds me of high school and a beautiful young man named Girard. I was so stuck on him that I finally got the courage to ask him out. We were in the hallway changing between classes so the hall was packed with people. He shot me down so badly that I can remember feeling like time had stopped to freeze the moment in my brain forever! I wanted to die on the spot, believe me!! I had no choice than to move on. I saw him again at my high school reunion, still looking fine as hell. I just didn't see him the same way again.

Oh, and I'm in a situation now that I'm with someone else, but still have a huge crush on someone else. And it'll NEVER happen between us at all!! He doesn't know about it and he never will because I value his friendship more than anything else. Too many obstacles to overcome too-besides the man I'm with has been good to me and he deserves someone who will be faithful to him.

 

[new2sceenbob]

With the possible exception...

With the possible exception of an extremely attractive female, I'm sure that this has happened to everyone, and more then once. It has happened to me countless times, including with women from this forum...

Sincerely,
Bob

 

[featherfingers]

Back around 1992 or so I was working at a department store, doing shipping and receiving. A new lady was about to start working in the jewelry department. WOW, what a goddess! Tall and blonde, she was possibly one of the prettiest ladies I'd ever seen! (Turns out she had been a contestant and winner of a couple of Miss Arizona beauty pageants) Would you believe that of all the sexy, handsome guys that worked there, she chose ME to be her friend! I couldn't believe it! The other guys were calling us "Beauty and the Beast." Well, time passed like bad gas and one day I realized I had fallen in love with her. When I told her how I felt, she pointed a finger at me and said, "Stop it!" After that, things got pretty awkward between us and she and I soon parted ways. Afterward, I got pretty depressed about the situation and even felt like denouncing women, but I couldn't judge an entire gender based on the actions of one lady. It wasn't her fault I fell for her anyway. A friend of mine put it in perspective. He said, "Frank, she could never love you as much as she loves herself."

Now I'm the best friend of a beautiful lady who makes me forget all about that blondie from 1992. She loves to be tickled, too, which is a nice plus.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

In retrospect & after reading all the responses, I guess this is pretty common and happens to everyone. It's just a little harder when it happens to an adult.

It reminds of a Sienfeld episode..."any woman who hates me that much...I find it irresistable."

 

[Deadsea7777]

Human beings are flawed and complicated. There's a CD by the band "Our Lady Peace," called "Happiness Is Not A Fish You Can Catch." Ever since I saw that title, I thought that it rang true.

Has anyone here ever been wildly attracted to someone that they just couldn't have? Whether it be because you work together, you run in different circles, stubborness on both sides, or possibly just a lack of interest on one side. Whatever the reason may be, you can't get the person to pay attention to you to save your life. You also can't stop thinking about it, even though you know you need to forget about it and move on.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What do you do about it, if anything?

I am still in love with M Monroe. I try to sell my soul to the devil but he was not buying

 

[isabeau]

I am still in love with M Monroe. I try to sell my soul to the devil but he was not buying

no need to do that.. i am marilyn personified.. well almost. i am not built like a brick house. but i do have the blonde hair.. and the tendency to appear rather dumber than i truly am.. sighs..

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Holy shit, brings back memories. Back in Grade school I had the largest crush on this girl named Sarah. One day I worked up the nerve to ask her out, 6th grade I will add, and she shot me down like a German Bomber.

This has happened to me over the course of my life, at different times. The actual girls I asked out have become blacked out in my mind; only the occasions stick out.

It's as horrible a feeling as you could imagine. Some of the episodes I've been through, I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. It does suck.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

The problem lingers if you have to see the person on a daily basis. You're reponses have inspired me to find to a solution, and I have!

Maybe it's obvious, but you have to occupy your mind with others things. The ideal thing is another relationship. But if that's not possible, then just consider others for dating, and even focus more intently on work. Having a **bleeped** up personal life is a major distraction and it has to be dealt with!

It's also dawned on me how to deal with the object of your desire, if she/he doesn't want you. At the risk of sounding cold, you have to ignore the person. I'm not kidding! Your feelings for that person are not going to allow you to look at them objectively. Odds are you're never going to change their mind. If you keep hanging around the person, you're never going it out of your head. So what choice do you have? The friends thing is fine if you can stand it. But you have to blow them off.

Who knows, they might even come around...

 

[crydun]

The problem lingers if you have to see the person on a daily basis. You're reponses have inspired me to find to a solution, and I have!

Maybe it's obvious, but you have to occupy your mind with others things. The ideal thing is another relationship. But if that's not possible, then just consider others for dating, and even focus more intently on work. Having a **bleeped** up personal life is a major distraction and it has to be dealt with!

It's also dawned on me how to deal with the object of your desire, if she/he doesn't want you. At the risk of sounding cold, you have to ignore the person. I'm not kidding! Your feelings for that person are not going to allow you to look at them objectively. Odds are you're never going to change their mind. If you keep hanging around the person, you're never going it out of your head. So what choice do you have? The friends thing is fine if you can stand it. But you have to blow them off.

Who knows, they might even come around...

oh sweetie, my heart goes out to you right now. I can literally sense the pain coming through the computer. I wish I could reach in, grab you by the shoulders and pull you into my arms. I can't, I know. But, I want to. Know that I'm here everytime you need me. I'm only an e-mail or phone call away. I'm glad you're finding some kind of resolution, even if it's not your first choice.

All the best,

your friend,

Crydun