Has anyone ever taken it...too far?

[TickleMyFancy]

Hiya

I recently lost one of my favorite playmates. She and I didn't have a safe word (my mistake), and I mistook her "no!"s and "stop!"s to be a part of the fun. I didn't find out until after we were done and I untied her that she was genuenly uncomfortable and kind of freaking out during the process.

We had played before with no problems, but I guess this time I went a little overboard, and now she is totally against the idea of tickling anymore. Sad day.

So my question to you is have you ever found yourself in a similar situation, and how did you handle it? Next time I will absolutely have a safe word (even though it was HER who insisted we didn't) just as a precaution.

Just sucks loosing out on a good tickle buddy because of lack of forethought.

 

[CuteJill143]

Sorry to hear about that. I can understand how you got caught up in the moment because it happens and that's what having a safety word is for. I hope she forgives you in time but for future reference Its always good to have the same safety word every time. It makes it easier to just remember one outrageous word every time rather than make a different safety word for each session. I would say try as hard as you can to build up her trust again.

 

[TiickleNiicole]

Having an emergency safeword is always a good idea but it's not your fault, you didn't try to deliberately hurt her. I'm sorry you lost a tickle friend

Luckily for me i've never had anyone take it too far. If i'm gagged that's where I get a little nervous so my tickler will make sure to be extra safe while tickling.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

I've always ignored the 'nos' as that seems to be a very popular thing to say, but Stop sounds more immediate. However, there where times I was wondering if I was going too far and stopped to check in, just to be told everything was fine. Stop is a good word to pay attention to, however, her instance of not using any safe words, well, she kind of set her self up for that.
This has happened before, where the woman wanted to be tickled for a half hour straight without any stops. Her partner obliged, but it wasn't too long before she started yelling at him to stop and he kept on going, as requested. Of course afterwards, she was pissed off at him for not stopping, but it was her request. There should always be some kind of fail safe.
Like that one Yaqi video where someone was getting ganged tickled, while the subject kept yelling she had a charlie horse in her leg, no one was hearing her.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

I've had my share of loses because I was foolish I have nobody to blame but myself

 

[Jagermeistered]

I agree, a safe word is needed!

Imagine people who enjoy asphyxiation... One person loves to be choked, and the other loves to be a choker. If you do not have a consensual agreed upon action(not a word in this case while being choked); the choker can overboard, and kill the sexual urge of the person being choked, or actually kill them!

This is the plague of having a fetish... So, you should learn self-control; and/or, complete transparency and planning should be discussed prior to the actual sexual event.

 

[Speedbump]

Huh never knew about this one. If correct, well, thats pretty darn pathetic! A supposed "professional" ignoring the model yelling that she has a Charlie horse? I can get it if it was no breaks for ticklish reactions, and that was expected and agreed to. However, a charlie horse/cramp is a different thing. How pathetic of him to have let that happen.

Ugh, stop trying to pander to the chicks and talk about how sad you are that shit goes wrong sometimes. Shit happens that not everyone expects might happen. He undoubtedly has more experience than you in what he does, and everyone fucks up once in a while no matter what they do. It's human. Get over yourself and stop pretending you don't make mistakes by judging others who do.

 

[rhiannon]

He undoubtedly has more experience than you in what he does

Apparently not! For something like that, every experienced tickler - correction! - everybody with common sense! - gives the lee a break to check on them!

I agree, a safe word is pretty important. Even though with my ler I'm sure I could go without one, I think it would hinder him more to let himself go than it would me if we didn't have one. He'd be overly careful.

 

[Franky]

I would recommend that the next time you play with anyone without a designated safe word then "no" and "stop" should be the default.

As for possibly loosing her as a playmate, give her time. If you are friends, then you two should eventually talk about it when both of you have a clear head.

 

[ticklemepls]

it happens, as said... people get caught up in the moment... not much you can do but give it time...

She set herself up asking for no safeword............ though my fiance and i dont have one, he knows my que to stop and he knows when im serious as my tone kinda changes... but all in all, dont beat yourself up- it's all good! I'd suggest not using "No" as a safeword, it's all too popular to say... HOWEVER... when he was the lee and saying "no" i'd lightly tickle and ask if he legitimately meant no or not... 2 things happen 1) gives him a way to stop me and 2) if he DOESNT want it to stop, makes him admit it

 

[milagros317]

This whole story makes me glad that I always play with a safeword.

 

[The_Kev]

I hope I don't sound like the biggest jerk in the world by suggesting that your playmate might have been a little more understanding. I mean, you obviously weren't TRYING to take it too far, like you said, you thought it was all part of the fun. She may end up a happier person if you mutually learn from the experience and make up a safe word for next time.

In my experience, this has never happened to me with tickling, I used to do breath control stuff a long time ago (I do NOT do it anymore). I went overboard there and really scared the person. It was one of the most uncool things I've ever done. Similar to you, I thought everything was okay, but I really scared them. That whole thing is just way too damn dangerous.

 

[jonsmith]

I've never lost a tickle partner. However, I think checking in would be the safest bet. Drive the subject up the wall, and stop suddenly to make sure they're alright.

You're fine with me though.

 

[Aboundtime]

I was in the pool with Whitney Morgan and she tickled my ribs so hard that I started to bleed XD.

 

[maniactickler]

She was a wimp. move on.

 

[jhop220]

I've never lost a tickle partner. However, I think checking in would be the safest bet. Drive the subject up the wall, and stop suddenly to make sure they're alright.

You're fine with me though.

Wait...I can't be the only on intrigued to see Jesus on here....

And all this time I thought he hated those that differed from the vanilla world...at least what the Christians said

 

[TickleMyFancy]

She was a wimp. move on.

Agreed. Time for my next victim

 

[TheBlackDragon]

Agreed. Time for my next victim

Challenge Accepted. I'm not a wimp

On a serious note, sorry you lost a friend. You received good advice in the thread. Just have a safety net next time and have a word just in case the worst comes up.

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

Hiya

I recently lost one of my favorite playmates. She and I didn't have a safe word (my mistake), and I mistook her "no!"s and "stop!"s to be a part of the fun. I didn't find out until after we were done and I untied her that she was genuenly uncomfortable and kind of freaking out during the process.

You sound like my kind of ler!

 

[FeedingInterest]

I think this post is a very important lesson to be learned. I think you should always insist on a safeword and if not, the responsibility very much falls on the top or 'ler to carefully keep an eye out and make sure that both parties are having an enjoyable time. The truth is blaming will do no good. Something bad has happened as a result of poor forethought and it was a genuine mistake on the side of both ends of the feather as it were.

But it's a learning experience and the important thing is now you can go into your next session and if the 'lee insists on not using a safeword you now have a reference point as to tell them what could happen and how bad things can go if a mistake is made.

If all else fails, use common sense and take regular breaks. The illusion of not being safe may be hot, but that doesn't mean you should ignore safety.