heeeeeelp

[VERNON1973]

No, but it can sure be abuse! Don't underestimate tickling someone who doesn't want to be tickled.

Rhiannon, I will be honest with you, you always message against everything I post on here. Why? Are you frustrated?

 

[rhiannon]

you always message against everything I post on here

Everything? Don't know, it's not like I follow you around. But when I disagree with something someone posts, I will say what comes to mind about it. This is what a discussion forum is about. Post something I agree with, and I will.

 

[tickleman916]

Two accounts? I can say the same thing about you guys claiming to be women but really are men pm me give me a number to call i bet you speak to a man and a woman into tickling but i wonder what kind of voice Will i hear on the other side of the phone male or female.

 

[Phineas]

Rhiannon, I will be honest with you, you always message against everything I post on here. Why? Are you frustrated?

Rhiannon has a bit of a reputation around here for reminding people who quite often don't "get" the concept of consent, which is unfortunately a little too common in this community, that other people don't always share the same opinions of personal space that they do. While I totally understand where you're coming from, someone who doesn't know you, especially a woman (who has a bit more invested in making sure grabby strangers don't help themselves to her body out of some annoying sense of entitlement), may not take it that way. Given some of the PMs I've gotten from other women on the topic, she's not alone in that view (not about you, but in general). So, it's going to come up in conversation, especially where a new person is concerned.

Secondly, it takes people like me a long time to come out about how I feel and your comments above are the whole reason people don't come out.

There is a misconception in this community whereby people assume that just because we're all into tickling, that we all think the same way about it and agree with everything anyone in the community may feel on the subject. I, for example, am not into bondage or other forms of BDSM at all, and resent the implication that I must be. I also have a foot fetish - but that doesn't make me submissive.

This, as you're starting to notice, is not the case.

Jin24, you need to think before you message in the future because I feel slightly victimised and exposed by your last post.

One thing that you're going to have to learn in order to truly accept yourself and your fetish as a part of that self is that, number one, not everyone is going to accept that side of you. Especially depending on how you present it. That's not specific to you, it's a general statement. It's a lot easier to get women to accept my foot fetish when I present it as a way for them to get lots of foot massages, not a way for me to collect wank video by creepily spying on people on the subway. But, if the latter truly is my thing, I stand a much better chance of happiness by acknowledging that I'm into something that everyone else is not, and that's okay, as long as no one gets hurt. (I probably picked a bad example, because I believe that filming people on the subway without their knowledge is not okay, but you get my drift.) In other words, everyone expresses their fetish differently, and there is, in fact, a "wrong" way - or at the very least a way that will turn other people off/disagree with.

What that means is that there is a subset of the fetish community that, based on how they type, makes alarm bells go off in other people. I read an article not too long ago called "On Creepy Doms", about people who take the ideas of control and consent beyond the normal BDSM-accepted limits (...if there is such a thing?) and pose such a risk to other people that learning to spot them is a skill that people in the community need to develop, lest they get into a dangerous situation. Such people are, thankfully, in a minority - but there's enough of a concern about them that you will occasionally see people attempt to deconstruct another's statements to see whether or not they are one. Usually with good reason. Especially if you keep going on about it being someone that's more fun for you if they "truly hate it".

I'd have to say, also, that there's a difference between fantasy and reality. Some people insist on their fantasy becoming reality, in ways that it's not usually possible/a good idea. Some of the things you've typed, while not tripping any of my personal warning switches, do match the kinds of things that may trip someone else's. It's not a condemnnation. Just be aware of it, and don't take every criticism as a grave insult. Also, be aware that the other person may actually be right. Think about what they've said and come to your own conclusions.

And on that subject, I'll relate that I have, on numerous occasions, been told that someone whom I thought was completely okay with something I was doing (...like, oh, I dunno, tickling, for example) really hated it (and in some cases, me) and was just keeping up appearances. Women, especially, are taught to "play nice" and "not make a scene" even when they really wish you'd go away. It gives me reason to really examine things that I think are, on the surface, "okay" - and wonder if they're not. The short version of that is, you may be thinking "she knew it was coming, fair game, I'm having fun!" - she may be thinking "Dear God, here he goes again. I wish he'd knock it off."

Best,
P

 

[VERNON1973]

Thanks for the clarification and knowledge Phineas! I will never change the way I feel and love myself for who I am! I am sure there are thousands out there who think the very same as me and would love to hear from those people! Tickle torture rules! 50 plus experiences in my life which I will never forget and would love to share these stories/experiences with the very people who feel the same way!

 

[rhiannon]

Two accounts? I can say the same thing about you guys claiming to be women but really are men pm me give me a number to call i bet you speak to a man and a woman into tickling but i wonder what kind of voice Will i hear on the other side of the phone male or female.

Uhm...one has to do with the other exactly what now?

Tickle torture rules!

You know what? I myself like to be brought to my limits, until it truly is torture! So in a way, yeah, I agree. But the other part of the deal has to give consent and never should feel uncomfortable. It's called respect for others.

 

[VERNON1973]

Rhiannon, you need to be brought to your limits quite often I would imagine? I know I would love to see that!

 

[rhiannon]

you need to be brought to your limits quite often I would imagine?

Actually I didn't have a session for quite some time, and I don't actually "need" it. It's a nice-to-have, not a need-to-have. But my ler sure enjoys it that I am not a sub.