tickleterror
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Some of these are fantastically funny.
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How Blonde Was She?.......
- Thread starter venray
- Start date
omg venray.. you have a point about some blondes.. hubby is watching E. and these very dumb blonde centerfolds are going on and on about Hef.. yuck.. and they sound like they think with their uh well you know.. sighs..
isabeau
isabeau
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."
"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"
"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."
She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."
"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"
"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."
HeavenlyTickle
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What do you call a blonde with brain cells?
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
HeavenlyTickle
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Two blonde girls were talking and one couldn't help but notice how pretty and beautiful the others skin was. So she asked her outright what made her skin so soft and beautiful. "Well, once a week I fill the bathtub with milk and just soak in it."
So the blonde went to a farm and spoke to the farmer. "I'd like a lot of milk."
"How much?" asked the farmer.
"Well, quite a lot because I'm going to soak in it."
He asked, "Pasteurized?"
"No... just up to my boobies."
So the blonde went to a farm and spoke to the farmer. "I'd like a lot of milk."
"How much?" asked the farmer.
"Well, quite a lot because I'm going to soak in it."
He asked, "Pasteurized?"
"No... just up to my boobies."
HeavenlyTickle
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Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed by three hours. But don't worry... we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed by three hours. But don't worry... we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
tickleterror
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These just keep getting funnier.
HeavenlyTickle
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I'm sorry Izzy. But they were too funny not to post. Besides, one has to learn to laugh at oneself. 😀isabeau said:grrr et tu, HT??? hmm
isabeau
Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks.
The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."
The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."
The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."
Then a train hits them.
The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."
The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."
The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."
Then a train hits them.
A woman walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor I hurt all over."
The doctor says, "That's impossible."
"No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! it hurts.
When I touch my leg, ouch!, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch!, it hurts.
When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts," she replies.
The doctor just shakes his head and says,
"You're a natural blonde aren't you?"
The woman smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
The doctor says, "That's impossible."
"No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! it hurts.
When I touch my leg, ouch!, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch!, it hurts.
When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts," she replies.
The doctor just shakes his head and says,
"You're a natural blonde aren't you?"
The woman smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
This one is just for Izzy............ 
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."
