How do you get a guy to fall in love with you?

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I have been wondering lately about how to get a guy to fall in love with me or how to fall in love with anyone for that matter. I mean dating has certainly changed through the years in that more women are working and have careers. The question becomes, who pays for the date? What are guys basically looking for in a woman they want to marry? I know it depends on the guy but I am just looking for general answers.

 

[Scinsor]

If you can cook; thats one of the biggest things for me. I love women who can cook well.

 

[chicago]

Miss Manners says the asker pays for the date. So if you asked the guy on a date, you pay. If he asked you out, he pays. That's usually how it goes.

As for making someone fall in love with you. It's impossible. You can't <i>make</i> anyone do that.

I've noticed your posts having a lot to do with your problems with dating and falling in love. I think you're getting too worked up over things you can't really control. I mean, unless you hire some kind of match-making therapist, which seems a little over the top anyway, you're just going to have to do what the rest of us do. Go on dates and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, shrug it off and try again.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Miss Manners says the asker pays for the date. So if you asked the guy on a date, you pay. If he asked you out, he pays. That's usually how it goes.

As for making someone fall in love with you. It's impossible. You can't <i>make</i> anyone do that.

I've noticed your posts having a lot to do with your problems with dating and falling in love. I think you're getting too worked up over things you can't really control. I mean, unless you hire some kind of match-making therapist, which seems a little over the top anyway, you're just going to have to do what the rest of us do. Go on dates and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, shrug it off and try again.

Well I don't really mean making a guy fall in love with you exactly but I guess what I really want to know is how to make it more attractive for a guy to want to be with me. Please bear with me ticklishgiggle, I am getting a lot of grief from my Mom lately that I don't have a family at the moment. I am really getting sick of it to be honest .

 

[theshire]

Get your jugs out...

 

[Strider]

As for making someone fall in love with you. It's impossible. You can't make anyone do that.

Er, yeah, what she said. You can't control how and when chemistry develops with another person(or if it develops at all).

 

[Zero-Sum]

it's been said over the past years so many times, but just be yourself, when I look for a girl I don't wanna find someone who isn't who they are, ya dig?

 

[kered]

Ticklishgiggle basically said it for me. You can't make someone love you. As for what men look for in a woman, it is the same as what makes a woman attracted to a man. For example: I like taller women and am partial to redhair. A good friend of mine likes heavy girls and wouldn't consider my choice as his choice. We are all wired differently. So Jen, there is no definate set answer to your question.

 

[Ticklee1973]

Jen, I'd agree with what most said. You have to be yourself. If someone is going to fall in love with you it will just happen. There's no making it happen or even wishing for it to happen. It takes time and chemistry. Oddly enough I don't think we even have control over who we truly fall in love with unless we just ban ourselves from them. Based on your recent posts I'd say you're just trying too hard lately and just need to let things happen as they may. Things seem to happen when you least expect them and when you are not exactly seeking them out. If you just let yourself focus on other things, you'd be surprised what can happen. Just my .02.

Sandee

 

[Helena]

Well I don't really mean making a guy fall in love with you exactly but I guess what I really want to know is how to make it more attractive for a guy to want to be with me. Please bear with me ticklishgiggle, I am getting a lot of grief from my Mom lately that I don't have a family at the moment. I am really getting sick of it to be honest .

Hi Jen,
I've been following your posts about the trouble you've been having lately. I knew that you were stressed about your dating situation. Nothing can make a personal problem seem even worse when your mom is putting pressure on you because you don't have a family.
You will choose your husband; your mother will not. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more stressed you will feel, and the worse your dates will be.
Have you thought about expanding your social circle? You can do this by trying a new activity that include men and women. Taking a class in something you love will let you meet new people.
Try and get your mother to stop pestering you. Do you live with her? If you do, tell her how upset she's making you. I'm sorry you are going through these problems. I wish you the best.

 

[maniactickler]

First off, ignore your mom in this situation. and second, letting a man strap you down and tickle you whenever he wants is a sure fire way to get him to love you.

 

[SlaverTickler]

I have been wondering lately about how to get a guy to fall in love with me or how to fall in love with anyone for that matter. I mean dating has certainly changed through the years in that more women are working and have careers. The question becomes, who pays for the date? What are guys basically looking for in a woman they want to marry? I know it depends on the guy but I am just looking for general answers.

You don't get someone to fall in love with you, it just sort of happens.

 

[kis123]

Take the first part of maniacs advise and do as you want with the other half! You have to live your own life and not your mother's; this is putting unnecessary pressure on you to find a mate and give her the family she thinks she deserves from you.

First of all, what do YOU want? It is YOUR life and not someone else's to live. Decide what you want first; then relax and start to prepare yourself for it.

I waited six years from the time I left my marriage until I got involved in another relationship. I wanted to get to know me better and to find out what I wanted in a man for me.

I would suggest that you take the time to find out what you want out of life and build a plan on how to get there. If that's marriage and kids later, then so be it. Take your time and don't let anyone rush you into what could be a huge mess later on.

 

[Capnmad]

Love does not happen by design.

My best advice is as follows:

First, ignore anyone else putting pressure on you to start a family. Acting out of pressure to do something is not a recipe for happiness. I suspect even you want love, but don't try to put it on your mom's schedule.

Second, given your situation, I suggest you continue working on your social skills and your ability to read and respond to nonverbal cues and whatnot. As those improve, I suspect you'll have greater opportunities to connect with and understand people in ways both you and the other parties will appreciate and be able to build on to form strong friendships and perhaps more.

You seem a nice young woman, Jen. Keep hope.

 

[whyguy2]

I have been wondering lately about how to get a guy to fall in love with me or how to fall in love with anyone for that matter. I mean dating has certainly changed through the years in that more women are working and have careers. The question becomes, who pays for the date? What are guys basically looking for in a woman they want to marry? I know it depends on the guy but I am just looking for general answers.

Well Jen. My answer to your questions is this. Before you even think of falling in love with someone. make sure you find out everything you can about that person. Make sure they are who they say they are and not just pretending. Once you have done that, make sure you and that person are compatible with each other.

The best way to get someone to fall in love with you is to be yourself. I know that sounds clique but thats the best way for me to say. If a person can't love you for who you are then get that person out of your life. That just shows it was not meant to be.

As far as who pays for the date. well i believe that it is the man who should pay for the date. for the most part. once in a while the woman can pay for the date. but that in my opinion should only be a rare occurance. That's just my opinion though

As far as what a guy looks for in a girl. I can not speak for every man, but i can speak for myself. I want a Christian girl, who can love me for who i am and not try to change me for the most part. I want someone who is fun-loving and cheerful and will only be serious when the time calls for it. Looks don't matter too much to me, but they are important. I look more for personality than looks though. Someone who knows what she wants and does what she needs to do to achieve her goals. Plus i'd like a girl who was ticklish all over and would enjoy having me tickle her. lol 😀

I don't know if this helps Jen. but i hope it does

 

[drew70]

Man, finding a suitable partner is tough enough without Mom adding extra pressure. I feel for you. But as most have said, there's no legitimate way to speed up the process. Keep dating, and try to find somebody who you like and who likes you. In my opinion, friendship compatibility is more important than sexual compatibility, because he needs to be somebody with whom you can talk and confide things. That's for you to decide.

How to make yourself more attractive? I've met you at the last couple of NESTs, and I think there's no doubt you are physically attractive. Wear clothes that flatter your curves, and accentuate your attributes. But I think the key to being attractive is to project a sense of peace and contentment. If you come across as needy in any way, that can raise flags in potential suitors. In short, just try to relax and be yourself, and hopefully you'll bring out the best in whoever is lucky enough to catch your interest.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Man, finding a suitable partner is tough enough without Mom adding extra pressure. I feel for you. But as most have said, there's no legitimate way to speed up the process. Keep dating, and try to find somebody who you like and who likes you. In my opinion, friendship compatibility is more important than sexual compatibility, because he needs to be somebody with whom you can talk and confide things. That's for you to decide.

How to make yourself more attractive? I've met you at the last couple of NESTs, and I think there's no doubt you are physically attractive. Wear clothes that flatter your curves, and accentuate your attributes. But I think the key to being attractive is to project a sense of peace and contentment. If you come across as needy in any way, that can raise flags in potential suitors. In short, just try to relax and be yourself, and hopefully you'll bring out the best in whoever is lucky enough to catch your interest.

Well I think that you should tell my Mom that love just happens and not to rush it. That's the thing drew, I have yet to come across a guy who is lucky enough to catch my interest. Thanks for saying that I am physically attractive. Another thing people need to understand is that I am an ONLY CHILD and I am the ONLY ONE who can make my parents into grandparents. That is a VERY tough situation to go through. Please understand that everyone.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Jen, I'd agree with what most said. You have to be yourself. If someone is going to fall in love with you it will just happen. There's no making it happen or even wishing for it to happen. It takes time and chemistry. Oddly enough I don't think we even have control over who we truly fall in love with unless we just ban ourselves from them. Based on your recent posts I'd say you're just trying too hard lately and just need to let things happen as they may. Things seem to happen when you least expect them and when you are not exactly seeking them out. If you just let yourself focus on other things, you'd be surprised what can happen. Just my .02.

Sandee

Well said Sandee. Why don't you tell my Mom that? LOL What do you mean I have been trying to hard lately? I am not sure what that means 😕.

 

[whyguy2]

i will say Jen. by looking at your picture. you are a very attractive girl. one day the right guy will come along. and when he does. he will have found himself a very sweet and caring woman

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Hi Jen,
I've been following your posts about the trouble you've been having lately. I knew that you were stressed about your dating situation. Nothing can make a personal problem seem even worse when your mom is putting pressure on you because you don't have a family.
You will choose your husband; your mother will not. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more stressed you will feel, and the worse your dates will be.
Have you thought about expanding your social circle? You can do this by trying a new activity that include men and women. Taking a class in something you love will let you meet new people.
Try and get your mother to stop pestering you. Do you live with her? If you do, tell her how upset she's making you. I'm sorry you are going through these problems. I wish you the best.

I don't live with my Mom Helena. However, when I do see her she does get on my case about it. I have been doing activities with groups with other people who are on the Autism spectrum. This guy Jon wants to get to know me but with my luck it'll probably not work out or he'll just want to be friends. If he wants to be friends that's okay but I'll see what happens.

I think life will just be a lot easier for me if I just gave up on love alltogether. I think love sucks and I don't need it and I just have to accept that the only love I will ever get will be from my parents, other family members and my cat.

 

[CitY of MicA]

how do you get a guy to fall in love with you?

I don't think there's a way to do so that doesn't include either hypnotism or chloroform, a large sack, and a padlock. And even then there's no guarantees 🙁 .

Accepting the fact that I have no business responding to love-related questions, I will say that the more you understand about yourself and your own needs, the better able to recognize the type of person with whom you might be compatible. And while you can't manufacture love (or patent it, I found out), you can perhaps put yourself in a good position to fall in love by meeting new people and trying to find satsifaction and happiness in other parts of your life.

Good luck in your search, Jen!

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Well it's like I said before I think life will just be easier if I just give up on love alltogether.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

First off, ignore your mom in this situation. and second, letting a man strap you down and tickle you whenever he wants is a sure fire way to get him to love you.

^
^
^------- ( hence the reason you are still single MT )

Jen,

The magic will happen when you least suspect it, it could be tomorrow it could be over the weekend. Not knowing when is the worst part, BUT when it does happen you will know. It didnt really happen for me until I was 26 and now I'm 36 and it's been a amazing 10 years and I'm very much looking forward to being with her forever

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

I don't live with my Mom Helena. However, when I do see her she does get on my case about it. I have been doing activities with groups with other people who are on the Autism spectrum. This guy Jon wants to get to know me but with my luck it'll probably not work out or he'll just want to be friends. If he wants to be friends that's okay but I'll see what happens.

I think life will just be a lot easier for me if I just gave up on love alltogether. I think love sucks and I don't need it and I just have to accept that the only love I will ever get will be from my parents, other family members and my cat.

We have never really had any interaction here but from what I can see you seem to have alot to offer and are intelligent, articulate, and honest. Those are three very attractive qualities to have.

When you go out on a first date just be yourself . I have been on many dates where it is obvious she wants to speed through the process and that will scare off most guys.

 

[chicago]

The only thing I'm worried about is that your frustration seems like it may start to turn into desperation, and as the saying goes

"Desperation is a foul-smelling cologne."

i.e. it'll freak guys out.